MY ANNOYING CO-WORKER

(Dec 2014) Reddit asked its readers for Annoying Co-worker stories. Some of the responses:
– My wife has an annoying co-worker that uses that fake spray tan stuff. We’re not sure if it’s a nervous tick or what, but she likes to rub the side of her face against door jambs and corners if she is leaning against it while talking to you. Their office is full of orange patches about 5 1/2 feet up from the ground.
– He doesn’t get my social cues of when I want to end a conversation. I’ve started to get pretty blatant now, turning my back and starting to type an email, etc. but it doesn’t seem to get it. One time I started walking down the corridor to the kitchen to end the conversation and he decided to get up and follow me down, continuing to talk all the way!
– He keeps referring to me as Morpheus and doing judo ninja matrix moves in my face every time we pass each other.
– Finishes words while you’re talking like a rapper’s hype-man: “So, last night I went to the grocery store (store). When I was in the line to check out (out), the guy in front of me was paying with a check (check). It took this guy 10 minutes to write it out (out)”
– She doesn’t type like a normal person. She smashes the keys like they killed her family.
– Sips (slurps) coffee and goes Ahhhhh loudly. Every. Freakin. Time.
– “Halfway there! it’s humpday!” Every. Single. Wednesday.
– Close talker with coffee breath.
– He yells “SUPPLIES!!” and then jumps out of the supplies closet.
* “Supplies!”? Okay – is that originally from Dilbert or The Drew Carey Show?
* The bad news? These stories are all from the same guy.
* A Hype-man. So that’s what you call that. Boy, am I old.
* Just be glad you have a job and leave it at that.
* I think this is just background till we get into the office party stories.
* You know, those have actually toned way down since the wave of office party lawsuits hit.
* There was a time when the office party was like going ashore with pirates to plunder a village.
* Where do these people work? Nerd Central?
* PHONE TOPIC: What does your annoying co-worker do?