WHAT TO DO IF YOU WIN THE LOTTERY

(Jan. 2016 – The Powerball Jackpot was over a billion dollars.) From USA Today, here’s what you should do if you’ve won the lottery.
– Clone your own Scarlett Johansson. Just kidding.
– Don’t claim the money right away. First, assemble a team of trusted lawyers, certified public accountants and financial advisers who will be able to help you navigate your tax liability, choose investments and steer clear of scams. If you don’t have immediate access to these kinds of professionals, ask friends for recommendations or head to the office of an established and reputable investment firm and ask to talk with someone.
– Don’t tell your friends. Because everyone you know will start asking you for money. Some states will let lottery winners remain anonymous, which is a prudent option.
– Don’t take the lump sum: Lottery winnings can be paid out all at once or in installments over time. Thanks to the benefit of interest, the jackpot winner will keep more of that windfall if it is distributed via a 30-year annuity. Spreading winnings out also gives the lucky ticket holder more time to learn how to manage the massive sum and make more responsible choices.
– Don’t splurge, and trust no one: Don’t quit your job. Don’t move to Fiji. Don’t buy a huge mansion. At least not right away. When it comes to making decisions about your lottery winnings, move forward with caution and patience.
* Although hookers and blow are still, and always will be, a good first option.
* USA Today also suggests you consider prudent investments, such as buying stock in USA Today.
* I love how I’m trying to remember all these things, as if I’m going to win the lottery.
* But if YOU win – remember it was me who passed along these helpful tips. I’d really appreciate, like, a couple grand.
* Don’t splurge – at least not for the first half hour.
* Did it really say a “team of trusted lawyers”? I can’t stop chuckling at that.
* I wouldn’t move to Fiji. I’d BUY Fiji.
* Gee, with a billion dollars, you could make your own Iron Man movie, and BE Iron Man.
* Whatever you do don’t tell everyone how you’re just going to keep doing what you’re doing now because you were already happy.
* If you’re already happy, why are you playing the lottery?
* Finally, get ready to have 7 and a half billion people hate your guts.