WORK EXCUSES

(Oct. 2015) CareerBuilder released its annual study of the most absurd excuses people have used for begging off work. Here are a few, and yes, these are real.
– Employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.
– Employee was stuck under the bed.
– Employee broke his arm reaching to grab a falling sandwich.
– Employee said the universe was telling him to take a day off.
– Employee’s wife found out he was cheating. He had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
– Employee poked herself in the eye while combing her hair.
– Employee said his wife put all his underwear in the washer.
– Employee said the meal he cooked for a department potluck didn’t turn out well.
– Employee was going to the beach because the doctor said she needed more vitamin D.
– Employee said her cat was stuck inside the dashboard of her car.
* These two are the worst employees ever.
* Wait, I’ve got to cut and paste this list for later use.
* You know, you COULD back these up with a selfie. If you’re good at Photoshop.
* CareerBuilder? Excuses like these are the ANTI-CareerBuilder.
* You can also mix-n-match these:
– “Employee said his wife put the cat in the washer.”
– “Employee said grandmother was stuck inside the dashboard.”
– “Employee broke her arm while combing her hair.”
– “Employee was stuck under the dumpster.”
* I like the farfetched medical ones where they call in sick because they have malaria.
* Especially when they happen right after pay day.
* My favorite was the guys I heard about on the crew at a hotel job who called in and said they couldn’t come to work – they were under sniper fire. And it was true.
* The winner here is the employee who said they had to go to the beach on doctor’s orders. Well played.
* PHONE TOPIC: Did you ever take off work with a legitimately weird excuse?