THINGS EVERY OFFICE WORKER HAS DONE

(May 2015) From Buzzfeed. Have you done any of these things?
1. Lying every Monday morning when someone asks you, “How was your weekend?”
2. Bringing in a healthy salad for lunch, and then going to buy a burger instead.
3. Taking a piece of birthday cake from someone whose name you don’t know.
4. Signing a card with no idea who or what it’s for.
5. Using your work email to tell people some really scandalous gossip.
6. Confusing the “reply” and the “reply all” buttons.
7. Having an office crush.
8. Staying in the office five minutes later just because you didn’t want to share a lift with that co-worker you don’t know that well.
9. Going to a pointless meeting just to have a break from work.
* A break from work? I thought that’s what internet porn was for.
* Now I’m hungry for a burger and some cake.
* You got me. I’ve done every one of these except 1, 2, 4, 6, and 8.
* They left out so many. Like when you fart in a meeting and then point to the new guy.
* Sorry, I don’t think saying you had a nice weekend, when it wasn’t that great, rises to the level of a lie.
* It’s like saying, “Good morning” when not all mornings are good.
* And guess what? They aren’t really asking about your weekend anyway – they’re just being polite.
* I mean when someone says, “How you doing?” do you really think they want you to tell them how you’re really doing? No. Relax. It’s just a ritual thing.
* PHONE TOPIC: My worst office screw-up.