WHAT YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT MEN

January, 2015 – From writer Lisa Newlin, here are 10 Small-But-Important Things Your Mother Never Told You About Men:
1. They smell.
2. They will use your makeup occasionally. When a pimple comes a poppin’, your man will come a knockin’… for concealer.
3. They’re not always big eaters.
4. They secretly like reality TV. They might complain that you’re watching yet another season of “The Bachelor,” yet they’ll always find a way to be in the room when it’s on … and then add commentary.
5. They have expensive hobbies.
6. They like to be pampered. He might be relucant to admit it, but he loves the softer, more comfortable things in life.
7. There’s a hierarchy when it comes to sports. Each guy has a definitive pecking order when it comes to his favorite sports.
8. They have a biological clock. Somewhere along the way in their 30s most of them have a biological clock that starts ticking, even louder than yours sometimes.
9. They’re physically incapable of passing up an action movie when flipping channels.
10. They shed worse than a Golden Retriever.
* And your point is … ?
* Then Lisa left to buy more batteries at the store.
* This story has been brought to you by the National LGBT Recruitment Board.
* So I guess The Age Of Political Corectness is over, and we’re back to ridiculing the genders.
* She pulled most of these from Tim Allen’s old stand-up routines.
* Sounds like Lisa’s been watching the DVD set of “King of Queens.”
* Hey, men didn’t fill out any forms for this system either.
* #5. They have expensive hobbies. Yeah, like taking you out.
* She checked all these with the man in her life but he just nodded, not really listening.
* PHONE TOPIC: What else did your mother never tell you about men?