THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

We’ve all done something stupid for love. A reddit thread asks, “What is the most cringeworthy thing you did to woo your crush?” Some of the responses:
– Pick flowers at night, put them in front of her door. Not even a note, or a name, or anything, just the flowers. Even denied when she asked if they were mine … Don’t know what I was trying to accomplish.
– I wrote him an essay to confess my love to him. 7 pages worth of cringe.
– She was already in the process of giving me the “thanks but no thanks”, and in a bit of desperation I tried serenading her with some sweet No Doubt over the phone.
– When I was 14 I made a fake website for a fake movie to prove to a girl I was starring in a movie.
– When I was little, I saw Ice Age and there is a scene where Diego wakes up and yawns and since he’s a sabertooth, you see his huge awesome chompers.
So, I would sit in my chair, facing my crush and yawn with a giant open mouth, baring my teeth, hoping to woo in my fair lady. But alas, no luck.
– Whipped a lacrosse ball towards her from across the gym. Hit her right in the noggin. Ended up dating.
– Bought her a piano. It didn’t work … She kept the piano.
– In junior high I had a major crush on the new kid. So naturally I bought a card, cut out all the letters I would need from a magazine, and essentially sent him an anonymous pay-me-ransom-or-I’ll-kill-your-kid style note. Needless to say it didn’t work.
– Back in college – I made a mix tape for the BABY HE WAS HAVING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
– I set my shoes on fire for her. I regretted that decision immediately.
– I wanted to be her partner when we got in pairs in Spanish class. I was mentally preparing how I was going to ask, but when the teacher said to find a partner I just yelled her first name really loud. People stared at me and she was embarrassed I think.
– I thought talking to a tree would be impressive. I don’t know why I thought that. She never talked to me again after that.
– For his birthday I found a doll sized truck that looked exactly like his and baked him a cake shaped like a garage with the truck inside. Yes it was difficult and time consuming. His response: “Wow this is amazing. My wife is gonna love it too and probably want to know how you did this.”
– I knew which way she walked home from school, so one sick day I wrote “I LOVE HEIDI” in giant chalk letters on the sidewalk where I knew she’d pass. I hid in the bushes and when she walked by I yelled “Looook doown!”. She promptly decided to speed walk the rest of the way home, I never told her it was me.
– I drew a picture for a girl in middle school to ask her out. It was of us holding hands in front of a sunset. She showed her friends and laughed at it with them.
* One thing is for sure: America is full of creepy people.
* The good news: Sometimes you can stop a psycho ex-girlfriend or boyfriend before it ever happens.
* Well, something must have worked. How else did we end up with a population of 7 and a half billion?
* Then there’s the standard move where you pretend you’re a sensitive guy when you’re really a jerk.
* Not that I would know anything about that.
* That can backfire after you see her fall for one bad boy after another.
* You can tell reading some of these that these guys would not be getting lucky. In fact they were lucky not to be arrested.
* PHONE TOPIC: What cringeworthy thing did you do to try to impress someone?