THE COST OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE: $378,570

(February, 2016) A new study by a UK cashback and rewards site called Quidco did a study and found it costs $378,570 to have a happy marriage:
1. $30,000 for a wedding and honeymoon.
2. $2,000 a year for date nights. That’s three dates a month at around $55 each.
(* Only $55? Where are the dates – Applebee’s?)
3. $800 a year for nights in. That’s three nights a month and includes the cost of a Netflix subscription, iTunes movie downloads, drinks, and snacks.
4. $435 a year for gifts and surprises.
5. $680 a year for jewelry.
6. $277 a year for lingerie. Remember, these are the costs for a HAPPY marriage, and that’s going to include lingerie once in a while.
(* Of course, since this is England, some of that lingerie will be for the guy.)
7. $232 a year on clothes and shoes for special occasions.
8. $922 a year on weekends away.
9. $2,400 a year on vacations.
That’s $7,746 total every year. Over 45 years, that adds up to $348,570. Toss the wedding on top of that and it adds up to $378,570.
* Well, you can’t argue with the science.
* Hey, they left out the expenses for all the flings on the side.
* What about the cost of kids? Oh, wait – this is about a HAPPY marriage.
* So the almost-50% divorce rate is cause we’re not spending enough money? Right.
* A 45-year Netflix subscription. This I gotta see.
* Weekends away AND a vacation? Do you think I’m made of money?
* Who creates this wonderful, magical little life that this happy couple supposedly leads? Who lives like this? If this one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP things?