THINGS YOU MUST AGREE UPON BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

From writer Jeanne Sager at TheStir.com:
1. Does the toilet paper go over or under the roll?
2. Cats? Dogs? Both?
3. Can you eat breakfast for dinner?
4. Cold pizza: Yes or no?
5. Is it acceptable to open presents as they arrive or do you have to wait for the actual birthday or holiday?
6. Should the dirty forks and knives go in the dishwasher with the handle up or down?
7. Is it acceptable to leave dishes in the sink to “soak” overnight, or do they need to be cleaned before bed?
8. Toothpaste: cap on or cap off?
9. Toothpaste: roll it from the bottom or just squeeze really hard?
10. Are towels a one-time use item or do you use the same towel until laundry day?
11. What brand of toilet paper?
12. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
13. Pepsi or Coke?
14. Can you eat the holiday candy out in the display bowl or must it be left there for display?
15. What is YOUR definition of camping?
16. Roller coasters: love ’em or hate ’em?
17. Chip clips or just roll the bag up?
18. Is it OK to have a TV in the bedroom?
19. Should folded clothes be put away, or is it OK to just pull as needed from the basket of clean laundry?
20. Making the bed every day: must-do or waste of time?
21. Is it OK to clip toenails in the living room?
* Jeanne Sager, I know we’re not married but I don’t care: I want a divorce anyway.
* Did anybody else expect this list to be way more filthy?
* Try this: “If you expect me to marry you, you better not have a problem when I ask you to (BLANK).”
* I feel like we’ve just had a visit from the Ghost of Standup Comedy Acts Past.
* Cold pizza? At my house, they don’t have the opportunity to get cold.
* Are towels a one-time use item? Are you kidding me? Don’t go all aristocratic on us here.
* The key to when you change towels is when they start responding to verbal commands.
* “What is your definition of camping?” Great. All of a sudden we get an essay question.
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you and your spouse argue over any of these things? What do you wish you had agreed upon before you got married?