THE PETTY REASON I BROKE UP

(Aug, 2023) Reddit asked, “”What’s the weirdest reason you’ve broken up with someone?” Some of the responses:
– “She wouldn’t stop talking to me in an annoying baby voice. If I said, ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hang out with so-and-so,’ she would say, ‘Gurlfwend go, too?’ And if I said no, she would put on a sad voice and say, ‘Gurlfwend go, toooo…’ She was 23 years old.”
– “I went out for Halloween and met a guy dressed as a pirate that looked like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean — it was the era of those movies. We started dating, and I realized he looked like a pirate 24/7, and I couldn’t handle it.”
– “She constantly said ‘Chip-ol-tay’ instead of Chipotle. True sad story.”
– “She would speak French to herself in the mirror at home, and then she would do it at restaurants thinking it made her sound sexy, I guess? Here’s the thing — she knew not one word of French. She just spoke gibberish that sounded VAGUELY like French. She just wanted to act like she was speaking French.”
– “He collected used candy wrappers. When he first told me, I thought he was joking. We dated for two months before I realized he was incredibly serious.”
– “She added me to her family’s group chat after a week of dating. Too much pressure.”
– “They thought microwaving one piece of leftover pizza needed four minutes.”
– “She threw garbage out my truck window while driving down the road. First date and last date.”
– “She squeezed a disgusting amount of mustard in her hand then ate it.”
– “We ordered some fries from the food court. She asked for a large handful of mayo packets. She took a whole packet and emptied it on one single fry, opened another and squeezed half of it on the same fry, then downed it.”
– “She insisted that the phrase was ‘eight of one, half a dozen of the other.’ I told her it was six, which is a half dozen. She told me, ‘You say it your way, I’ll say it mine.'”
– “Her dog was teaching my dog to howl at sirens.”
* Picky, picky, picky.
* Did anyone ever end a relationship because the other person was too “judgy”?
* These sound like the plots from the the upcoming season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
* I’m just relieved none of these included the words “body parts.”
* Word to the wise. If you’re in a relationship and NOTHING about the other person drives you crazy … just wait.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the weird reason you broke up with somone?