BURGLAR LEAVES CELL PHONE, KEYS AT SCENE OF THE CRIME

In Twin Falls, Idaho, a burglary suspect returned to the scene of the crime Saturday looking for keys and a cellphone he left behind. A woman called police saying she’d arrived home to find her back door open and her house ransacked. An unfamiliar cellphone was left on the bed. A silver 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt was parked behind the house, where police said they could see cash and jewelry on the passenger seat. While officers were still at the house investigating, a woman drove up behind the car and dropped off 22-year-old Caleb Funke. As Funke spoke with police, a resident of the burglarized house came out with some keys, saying they didn’t belong to anyone in the house. An officer unlocked and started the car with the keys. Funke said he wasn’t the burglar but knew who was. When officers patted him down they found a piece of jewelry in his pocket belonging to the homeowner. In addition, her cellphone was in his car. Funke was arrested.
* Get the Funke out of here, the detective told his officers.
* He “returned to the scene of the crime looking for keys and a cellphone he left behind.” Oh, and a car. And the loot.
* I’d like to list all the things this guy did wrong, but I think he’s embarrassed enough.
* He wasn’t the burglar but knew who was? I admire that. You have to have some kind of story ready.
* Next you say, “The burglar must have hit here after he robbed my place.”
* “The jewelry in my pocket? I found that on the sidewalk just now when I was walking up here.”
* I think Caleb is way past Plan B here and on to Plan F.
* I can hear his lawyer now: “I will show to this jury that there is not one shred of evidence that proves my client was involved in this crime.”