TAYLOR SWIFT, REBA, BEYONCÉ, WEEZER GETS INTO THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

Tells him he wants the best of everything for his father. The funeral the funeral is absolutely beautiful, and the guy is very pleased. Then he gets a bill for $16,000, and he pays it. The next month, he gets another bill for $85. He figures it’s a supplemental charge bill, so he pays that, too. Next month, another bill for $85 arrives, so he calls up the undertaker and says, “I keep getting these bills for 85 dollars. I thought I paid for the funeral already.” The undertaker says, “You said you wanted the best for your father, so I rented him a tux.”

She’s coming around now.

He has a roll of paper towels on his head. The bartender asks, “what’s with the roll of paper towels on your head?” Pirate says, “Arr, there’s Bounty on me head.”

Surreal.

Kid goes, “Was it something I said?” Boss says, “Yes”.