NEW ZEALAND GRANTS PERSONHOOD TO A MOUNTAIN

New Zealand has granted personhood status to one of its mountains. Mount Taranaki, an 8,261-foot stratovolcano popular among skiers and snowboarders, was recognized as a legal person in New Zealand last week. The indigenous Māori people believe the mountain to be among their ancestors. It is now viewed by the law as “a living and indivisible whole.” It has the rights, powers, duties, responsibilities and liabilities of a person. (* Who’s going to shovel its sidewalk in the winter?) The legal rights provided to the mountain are meant to be used for its preservation and the protection of its wildlife, and public access will continue. Members from the local Māori, along with government officials, will work together to manage it. New Zealand became the first country in the world to grant living rights to natural features in 2014 when it recognized the personhood of the Urewera sacred forest in North Island. And then, in 2017, the Whanganui river was deemed human and turned over to the care of the local indigenous people.
* Our new administration would have a hissy fit over this.
* Well, then – out with it. What are its pronouns?
* Now, the mountain wants to date, and it’s asking for the number of Mount Kilimanjaro. (I guess the mountain has a case of the MatterHorns.)
* I hope New Zealand doesn’t have Social Security, ’cause they would be paying it to the mountain, like, forever.
* A mountain, a forest and a water feature. Or, as Bob Ross would call it, a family portrait.