GROUNDHOG ACCURACY VIS-A-VIS WEATHER PREDICTING

The U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has released a study analyzing the annual prognostications of weather-predicting groundhogs. Groundhog Day is coming this Sunday. The organization looked at groundhogs — along with one prairie dog statue and a tortoise — to see which were the most accurate in predicting whether spring would come early or late. Only groundhogs who have been predicting the weather for at least 20 years were included in the study, and each had to still be active as of Feb. 2, 2024.
1. The most accurate weather predictor of the bunch was found to be Staten Island Chuck, who accurately predicted the arrival of spring 85% of the time.
2. Georgia’s General Beauregard Lee, at 80%.
3. A Wyoming Prairie Dog statue named Lander Lil, with 75%.
4. A mythical West Virginia groundhog named Concord Charlie, at 65%.
5. Illinois’ Gertie the Groundhog, with 65%.
The most famous weather-predicting groundhog, Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil, was in 17th place, having predicted the weather accurately just 35% of the time.
* Aw, come on. It’s just a slump. He’ll come back. I think it’s the drinking.
* The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration might want to rethink coming out with this study at this particular point in the new administration.
* I predict the people involved in this flagrant exercise in government waste will be gone in much less than six weeks.
* And why doesn’t this study mention how accurate the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has been?
* You want a better prediction of how long winter will last? Just wait ’til Punxsutawney Phil’s replaced by AI.