WEDNESDAY, Jan 29 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, January 29, 2025
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Is Cars

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CHINESE NEW YEAR (The Year of the Wood Snake)

CURMUDGEONS DAY
The National Today website says this:
“Curmudgeons Day is celebrated on the birth anniversary of American actor, comedian, writer, and juggler, William Claude Dukenfield, better known as, W.C. Fields. Fields’ finessed the persona of a curmudgeon with his comic acts and became one of the best-known entertainers of his time. W.C. Fields portrayed cantankerous and antisocial characters throughout his life while maintaining his absolute affinity for alcohol and his disdain for dogs and children. His juggling acts became world-famous, as he toured all across America and the seven seas, making Queen Victoria one of his attendees. In his four decades as an entertainer, Fields acted in dozens of films and became a household name.'”

NATIONAL CORN CHIP DAY

NATIONAL FREETHINKERS DAY / THOMAS PAINE DAY
The Burning Platform website says this:
“Today is National Freethinker’s Day – also known as Thomas Paine Day, as he was born on this date in 1737. Throughout his life, he wrote many influential books and pamphlets including The Age of Reason, The Rights of Man, and Common Sense. Each of these works brought public attention to key issues and helped establish the philosophical foundation for the American Revolution.”

NATIONAL PUZZLE DAY

SEEING EYE GUIDE DOG BIRTHDAY
The VetMed website says this:
“The first school for Seeing Eye Dogs was opened on January 29, 1929 in Nashville, Tennessee. Following a short-lived program in Germany after World War I, this guide school trained dogs to assist those in need, and since then has influenced programs all over the world.”

January is:

Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
Be Kind to Food Servers Month
Family Fit Lifestyle Month
Financial Wellness Month
Get Organized Month
National Candy Month
National Clean Up Your Computer Month
National Hobby Month
National Skating Month
National Train Your Dog Month
Walk Your Pet Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

SUPER BOWL TICKET PRICES PLUMMETING; BLAME THE CHIEFS

Ticket prices are plummeting ahead of the Super Bowl. One reason? The Kansas City Chiefs, who are headed to their fifth Super Bowl in the last six seasons. Fans are apparently getting tired of them. In addition, a Chiefs-Eagles match up is a repeat of the 2023 Super Bowl. On Monday, the lowest price for a ticket was around $4,600. But at this point last year, a comparable ticket was over $7,000. The year before that it was $6,000.
* Lordy, you have to be a presidential cabinet member to afford the Super Bowl these days.
* The chances of a Taylor Swift sighting have to be worth at least a few extra bucks, no?
* Fans are so un-excited that instead of calling it Super Bowl LIX they’re calling it Super Bowl SUX.
* Math quiz: The Superdome can hold around 74,000 fans x $4600 a ticket = $340,400,000. Yeah, so you can see why the NFL is worried. Maybe they can bring the numbers up with hot dog sales.

THE BUZZ

THAT MAKES NO SENSE

Reddit asked, “What’s a common thing people say that makes no sense?” Some of the responses:
– “I’m sweating like a pig. Pigs do not sweat.”
– “Healthy as a horse.” Horses are not ever healthy. There is always something wrong. And it’s always expensive.”
– “‘I slept like a baby’ when they infamously sleep awfully.”
– “Working like a dog. I got dogs. They sleep a lot.”
– “6am in the morning. A-M means morning.”
– “They did a 360.That would mean they went in a complete circle. They mean a 180, which is halfway.”
– “Behind my back is really just in front of your front.”
– “A lion being the ‘king of the jungle,’ lions don’t live in jungles.”
– “Hot water heater. There would be no need to heat hot water.”
– “I was head over heels in love! Isn’t your head pretty much always over your heels?”
– “‘No offense, but–‘ Whatever is said after this, is always offensive.”
– “You want to have your cake and eat it too. Yes, that’s how cake works.”
– “It’s ‘on’ if you can stand up inside: On a bus. On a plane. On a train. It’s ‘in’ if you enter and remain seated / are unable to stand. In a car. In a canoe. In a carriage.”
– “Cool beans. Why are they cool? Who is eating lukewarm beans?!”
– “Don’t sweat the small stuff and It’s the little things that count. So which is it?”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you have something that people say that makes no sense? I could care less.

U.S. NEWS

MAN, ARRESTED FOR DUI, JUST WANTED TO GET HOME TO HIS CAT

In Norwich, Connecticut, a man was arrested on Sunday morning for driving under the influence. He was allegedly traveling at more than double the posted speed limit. During the traffic stop the driver explained to police that he was in a hurry to get home and see his cat. The cat man was subjected to a field sobriety test, which he allegedly failed. After paying the $500 bond he was released to go home and finally see his cat. He’s scheduled to appear in court on February 6.
* “Your honor, in my defense I present Exhibit A: Boots. Look at that face. Who wouldn’t rush home to kiss that face?”
* Of course, when he got home, the cat was under the couch and couldn’t be bothered to come out.
* The cat probably made the call to the cops. Mine would’ve.
* How much did he drink? Let’s just say he was feline no pain.
* In jail, he said, “Let ME-OWt!”

OKLAHOMA SENATOR WANTS TO DEREGULATE DONKEY MILK

Oklahoma state senator Shane Jett has introduced a piece of legislation that would deregulate the sale of donkey milk if signed into law. The bill’s text would amend the Oklahoma and Milk Products Act of 1994, which regulates the production and distribution of milk products, to exclude donkey milk. Jett did not respond to a request or a comment on why donkey milk is a legislative priority for him in 2025.
* He’s probably in the pocket of some jackass lobbyists.
* ‘Cause he’s sure milking it for all it’s worth.
* Am I missing something? Is donkey milk a slang term for something else? And if it is, I don’t think I want to know.
* Why buy a donkey when you can get the milk for free, they always say, in Senator Jett’s house, probably.
* The law should be that you have to call it donkey milk, as opposed to its original name, ass milk.

AUDIO: MASSIVE SHRIMP FRAUD UNCOVERED IN GULF STATES

It is being claimed that restaurants throughout the Gulf Coast are serving imported shrimp but telling their customers they’re shrimp fished right out of the Gulf of Mexico (or whatever it is today). SeaD Consulting, a food safety technology company, tested shrimp from randomly chosen restaurants in Baton Rouge, Biloxi, Galveston, and Tampa Bay. Researchers found a significant number of the restaurants were passing off their shrimp as locally sourced, even though they were grown on foreign farms and imported to the U.S.
– Tampa Bay and St. Petersburg, Florida, had the highest “shrimp fraud rate” at 96%. Only two of the 44 restaurants sampled were serving authentic shrimp from the Gulf.
– In Biloxi, Mississippi, 82% of the restaurants were serving fraudulent shrimp.
– In Galveston, Texas, 59% of the 44 restaurants sampled served non-Gulf shrimp while claiming they were caught locally.
– In Baton Rouge, researchers sampled menu items at 24 restaurants and found nearly 30% – more than 1 in 4 – were misrepresented.
Erin Williams, chief operations officer of SeaD Consulting, said, “This isn’t just about mislabeling; it’s about eroding consumer trust, undercutting local businesses, and threatening the livelihood of hardworking Gulf shrimpers.”
* So it’s all a big shell game.
* Well, this is a fine kettle of fish. Or shrimp. Or if it’s shrimp, it’s a bad kettle of shrimp. Or a kettle of bad shrimp. Hey, who cooks fish in a tea kettle, anyway?
* At first, it sounded like the researchers were just on a big fishing expedition. Then they CAUGHT the cheaters!
* How can they tell where a shrimp is from? Is it the accent?
* What’s more, they discovered that Old Bay seasoning is actually coming from a new bay.
* Things haven’t been the same since the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company shut down after Jen-nay died.
CLIP: Our classic “Red Plopster Shrimp Month” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/11-08-RedPlopsterShrimp-restaurant(dot)mp3

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

LOUVRE NEEDS REPAIR; CONTROVERSY GROWING OVER MONA LISA

A newly-leaked memo in France has raised alarms about needed repairs in the Louvre, the world’s most-visited museum. In the memo, the museum director warned that some spaces in the museum “are no longer watertight, while others are experiencing worrying temperature variations, endangering the conservation of the artworks.” France’s President Macron has announced a major renovation and repair project for the Louvre, including moving the famous Mona Lisa to “a special space, accessible independently of the rest of the museum.” Meanwhile, Italy has suggested the painting be returned to them. Francesca Caruso, a regional assessor for culture in Italy’s Lombardy region, is calling for the painting to be returned to Milan, home to da Vinci’s “The Last Supper,” at least during the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics, which will be held in Milan.
* France says you can have the Mona Lisa when you pry it from “mes mains froides et mortes.”
* Moving the Mona Lisa would be a great plot for a heist movie starring, oh, I don’t know, Nicolas Cage and Dwayne Johnson?
* When they told the Mona Lisa they were moving her she made a face, but no one can tell what it means.
* Fixing the Louvre will be expensive, but they can just use all the money left over from rebuilding Notre Dame.
* The memo leaked, huh? And just in time for people to book trips for April and May before the renovations!
* I’ve been to the Louvre. The bathrooms look like they haven’t had a good scrubbing since the Renaissance.

TRENDING

SHABOOZEY IN SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL

Country star Shaboozey is starring in a Super Bowl commercial. He will be promoting Nerds Gummy Clusters candy. The full commercial isn’t available yet, but Nerds did reveal a 15-second teaser to social platforms. The spot will air during the third quarter of the Super Bowl.

JONAS BROTHERS TO STAR IN DISNEY XMAS MOVIE

The Jonas Brothers are reuniting with Disney to produce and star in a Christmas comedy movie, slated for the 2025 holiday season. The movie will be called, “Come On, Jeeze, We’re All Grandfathers Now.” No – actually, the movie has no title yet, but the plot has Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas and Nick Jonas “face a series of escalating obstacles as they struggle to make it from London to New York in time to spend Christmas with their families.” There will probably be singing.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Wood Snake)
February 2, Sunday – Groundhog Day
February 12, Wednesday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Friday – Valentine’s Day
February 17, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
March 9, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 9, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Monday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Thursday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:01 a.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Adam Lambert (singer, “American Idol” 8th season runner-up) … 43
Justin Hartley (actor, “This Is Us”) … 48
Sara Gilbert (actress, “The Conners,” “The Big Bang Theory,” “Roseanne”) … 50
Oprah Winfrey (media proprietor, talk show host, actress) … 71
Tom Selleck (actor, “Blue Bloods,” “Magnum, P.I.”) … 80

Today’s Birthdays grade: Tom Selleck, considered a “hunk” during his “Magnum, P.I.” days is 80, retired from “Blue Bloods” after 14 years and 293 episodes, but still hawking reverse mortgages to seniors. Darlene Connor who we met in 1988 is 50. And Oprah Winfrey, who ruled media in the 80s and 90s, is 71. She’s more behind-the-scenes now, but just in case, in her honor we’re going to give today’s birthdays Grade: B-plus.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail.”

(A) Mariah Carey
(B) Selena Gomez
(C) Oprah Winfrey

ANSWER: (C) Oprah Winfrey

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2024 – Elon Musk tweeted that his company Neuralink had implanted a “brain-reading” device into a human for the first time.
* But are they still a human?

2019 – “Empire” star Jussie Smollett claimed to have suffered a racist and homophobic attack in Chicago. It was actually a “hate crime hoax” – police discovered Smollett had paid two Nigerian-American brothers – who had worked with Smollett as extras on the set of his television show – $3,500 to stage the attack. Smollett was eventually indicted on six counts of felony disorderly conduct for lying to the police, and his trial began in March, 2021. On December 9 he was found guilty of five of the six counts. On March 10, 2022, Smollett was sentenced to 150 days in county jail, and was also ordered to pay $120,106 in restitution for the overtime spent by Chicago police officers.

1997 – America Online began refunding money to its customers because they couldn’t log on due to busy lines and slow servers.
* It got so bad some people had to revert to getting their porn in MAGAZINE form.

1990 – Exxon Valdez skipper Joseph Hazelwood went on trial in Anchorage, Alaska, on charges stemming from the nation’s worst oil spill.
* Not counting my driveway underneath my crappy car.

1924 – The ice cream cone rolling machine was patented by Carl Taylor of Cleveland.
* It saved a lot of time over the old method of carving cones one at a time out of blocks of waffle.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Taylor Swift was seeking to trademark phrases including “this sick beat,” “we never go out of style,” “nice to meet you, where you been,” and “party like it’s 1989” in the United States. She eventually succeeded, and as a result, others are prohibited from using these specific phrases on items such as t-shirts, stickers, and bags without her authorization.

2014 – More than 100,000 people signed a petition to deport Canadian citizen Justin Bieber out of America. The campaign followed his arrest earlier in the month for drunk driving and driving without a valid license.

2010 – Sly Stone filed a $50m legal claim against his former manager, alleging fraud and 20 years of stolen royalties. The 66-year-old funk musician of the 1970s group Sly and the Family Stone claimed in Los Angeles Superior Court that Jerry Goldstein diverted millions in royalties to fund a lavish lifestyle.

2009 – Former American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson made the largest ever leap to number one in U.S. chart history, rising 96 places. Her single, “My Life Would Suck Without You,” rose from 97 to the top of the Billboard chart after selling 280,000 downloads in its first week of release.

1982 – Flying Back from Cannes, France, Gary Numan made a forced landing after running low on fuel at an RAF base outside Southampton, England. The press ran stories that he had crash landed.

1979 – Teenager Brenda Spencer made national headlines when she suddenly started shooting at people with a gun at the Cleveland Elementary School, killing two people. When asked why she did it, she answered: “I just started shooting, that’s it. I just did it for the fun of it. I just don’t like Mondays … I just did it because it’s a way to cheer the day up. Nobody likes Mondays.” This led to a hit song for The Boomtown Rats, “I Don’t Like Mondays.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 65% of men say they taught themselves to do THIS. What is it?
Shave

2. 70% of men have one of THESE in their closet. What is it?
A tie they have never worn

3. 6 percent of men have done THIS on the phone. What is it?
Proposed marriage

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