WEDNESDAY, Sept 18 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, September 18, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Stock Numbers

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

AIR FORCE BIRTHDAY
The official date of the founding of the U.S. Air Force is September 18, 1947.

NATIONAL CHEESEBURGER DAY

NATIONAL HIV/AIDS AGING AWARENESS DAY

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

DIDDY: THE CHARGES

The U.S. Attorney with the Southern District of New York detailed the indictment against Sean “Diddy” Combs during a press conference on Tuesday morning. U.S. Attorney Damien Williams accused the rapper of having “abused, threatened and coerced victims to fulfill his sexual desires, protect his reputation and conceal his conduct.” Among the allegations:
– Combs planned and forced his “multiple” victims to engage in sex with male sex workers, which he called “freak offs.” Some of these went on for days, and were electronically recorded in an effort to coerce and control victims, according to law enforcement.
– Ketamine, MDMA and the date rape drug GBH were used to keep victims “obedient and compliant.”
– The Department of Justice also said that it seized more than 1,000 bottles of baby oil and personal lubricant during the raids.
– The evidence included photographs of multiple AR-15-style firearms with “defaced serial numbers” and high-capacity ammunition drums. These were recovered during a pair of March raids on Combs’ residences in Miami and Los Angeles.
– The indictment also alleges Combs used physical violence, kidnapping and arson, among other tactics, to intimidate his victims.
– The arson charge stems from a November 2023 lawsuit from his former girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, who alleges that Combs arranged to have rapper Kid Cudi’s car blown up during a period Combs believed he was in a relationship with Ventura.
* Yeah, well, look… We all have a bad day sometimes.
* Over 1,000 bottles of baby oil? So Diddy shops at Costco? (or Sam’s Club)
* Multiple-day sex freak-offs? Are they confusing Diddy with Tom Hanks?
* Even Russell Brand thought this behavior was extreme.
* So… Diddy? Or Diddy not?

DAVID LETTERMAN CALLED, PASSED OVER FOR JURY DUTY

David Letterman was in a New Yprk City courtroom on Monday, called for possible jury duty in a criminal trial. Letterman was identified in court only as “Juror 16,” and went through a round of questioning by the judge, who led with, “Where do you live?” “Hartford,” Letterman responded, then quickly adding, “No, it’s a joke,” and admitted to living in Westchester County. Asked what he does for a living, Letterman said he was currently “working for a company called Netflix.” Asked how he gets his news, Dave said, “Every morning I used to pick up the paper off the front porch. Now, I turn on the computer and it’s an aggregation of news sources from all over the United States and around the world.” For hobbies, Letterman said he likes to fish, ski and be outdoors. In the end, Letterman was released from the panel with no explanation.
* Though it was probably that hobo beard.
* What’s weird is, they rejected Letterman but they kept Paul Schaffer.
* And Conan O’Brien was waiting in the wings to take Dave’s place.
* That’s too bad. I’d want to hear, “Here are the Top Ten Reasons This Defendant Is Guilty.”

REO SPEEDWAGON PACKS IT IN AFTER 50 OR MAYBE 60 YEARS

REO Speedwagon announced that it will be no more after this year. The band formed in 1967 but changed lineups a lot in the early years — current members are Kevin Cronin, guitarist Dave Amato, bassist Bruce Hall, keyboardist and original founder Neal Doughty and drummer Bryan Hitt. They enjoyed great success in the 70’s and 80’s. The group wrote a lengthy post on social media citing medical problems with bassist Bruce Hall, plus irreconcilable differences between Hall and frontman Kevin Cronin. “So,” the message says, “It is with great sadness that we announce REO Speedwagon will cease touring effective January 1, 2025. Neal, Kevin, and Bruce thank their fans for all their years of loyal support and for giving back to the band such wonderful memories that will remain with each of them forever.”
* Or maybe just another 5 years or so. I mean, they’re all in their 70’s now.
* Come on, guys. Every band has conflict. You gotta ride the storm out. Roll with the changes. Keep the fire burning.
* The irreconcilable differences mainly involve who gets the La-Z-Boy recliner on the tour bus.
* If they ever do come back, they’ll have to change the band name from REO Speedwagon to McKesson Medical Walker, With Seat and Wheels.
* Meanwhile, Keith Richards lights up another spliff and chuckles to himself.

THE BUZZ

THE RUDEST CITY IN AMERICA: MIAMI

A survey to determine the Rudest City In America, conducted by language-learning platform Preply, found that Miami, Florida was “the rudest in 2024.” The determination is based on a variety of factors, including lack of awareness in public, noisiness in shared places and rudeness to service staff.
1. Miami, Florida
2. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3. Tampa, Florida
4. Louiville, Kentucky
5. Oakland, California
The three Least Rude Cities are Omaha, Nebraska; Minneapolis, Minnesota; and San Diego, California

U.S. NEWS

JET PASSENGERS HAVE BLOODY NOSES, EARS

There was what’s being called a “pressurization issue” on a Delta Air Lines flight from Salt Lake City, Utah, to Portland, Oregon, on Sunday that caused bloody noses and bleeding from the ears. Yes, it was, in fact, a Boeing 737-900, why do you ask? One passenger, Caryn Allen, said, “I looked over at my husband, and he had both of his hands over his ears. I looked over on the other side of the aisle, and there was a gentleman that clearly had a very bad bloody nose.” Fellow passenger Jaci Purser said it felt like somebody was stabbing her in the ear. She said, “I grabbed my ear, and I pulled my hand back, and there was blood on it.” No serious injuries were reported, but 10 passengers were treated following the flight.
* And then there’s gonna be all the dry cleaning.
* It was either pressurization, or a crying baby.
* It was a Boeing. Couldn’t they just open a door or something?
* Air travel can really make your head explode, but this is a little too literal.
* This story brought to you by Bounty, the Quicker Picker-Upper.

PEANUT BUTTER STABBING

In DeKalb, Illinois, a man was stabbed with a butter knife during an argument on Sunday over peanut butter and jelly. A witness told police that Javaughn Owens, 23, and another man were arguing over peanut butter because, according to the police report, “someone left peanut butter and jelly on the counter.” The witness said she tried to put herself between the two men to de-escalate the argument, but Owens pulled out a butter knife and “swung it over her shoulder,” striking the other man. The victim was treated for five (* FIVE!??) stab wounds. Owens has been charged with first-degree attempted murder. He was on probation for a different crime at the time of the stabbing. If convicted, Owens could face up to 30 years in prison.
* That is, if the charges stick. To the roof of his mouth.
* 30 years. That ain’t peanuts.
* Guy sounds nutty.
* What was the argument about? Smooth vs. Chunky?
* Well HE certainly won’t be out in a Jif.
* Could have been worse. Could have been shish kebab.

PING PONG BALL PROTEST

Protesters disrupted an Atlanta City Council meeting for 30 minutes on Monday evening by throwing hundreds of ping pong balls toward council members and chanting “You have dropped the ball on democracy.” The people were protesting the Public Safety Training Center, an 85-acre police and fire training complex, dubbed “Cop City” by opponents. They are concerned the facility escalates the “militarization of law enforcement” in addition to having a negative environmental impact. The protesters represent the 116,000 signatures delivered to city hall one year ago calling for a referendum on the training facility, which protestors are still demanding. They say that it could still be put on the November ballot if the city council would act on it.
* Throwing hundreds of ping pong balls at council members deserves a paddlin’.
* Today it’s ping pong balls, next time it’s pickleballs.
* Good thing city council meetings aren’t held on Wednesdays, which is bowling league night.
* Maybe they can settle the issue with a winner-take-all foosball game.
* Gee, if they’d built the training complex a year ago, the police could have stormed the meeting in riot gear and taken the protesters away in troop carriers.

THE WINNERS OF THE 2024 FLORIDA SNAKE HUNT

The results of the Florida Python Challenge have been released. The 10-day challenge is to capture and kill Burmese python snakes from the Florida ecosystem. They are not native to the area and are causing much damage to the local wildlife. According to Florida Fish and Wildlife, about 22,000 pythons have been removed from the state since 2000. This year, hunters removed 195 Burmese pythons from the wild.
– In the Professional category, the $10,000 grand prize went to Ronald Kiger, who removed 20 Burmese pythons from the Florida Everglades. Donna Kalil got a $2,500 second prize for catching 19 pythons in the Professional category.
– Quentin Archie won a $1,000 prize for catching the longest python in this category at 8 feet 11 inches.
– Dennis Krum caught the longest python in the Novice category, at 9 feet 11 inches.
* The winners receive a cash prize, and a couple of shots of whiskey to calm their heebie jeebies.
* How is the Florida Python Challenge not a cable reality show?
* The winner in the Novice category caught a snake a foot longer than the winner in the Professional category. Doesn’t he rate an upgrade?
* Why do I keep thinking that Joey Chestnut, the champion hot dog eater, is going to show up in this thing?
* You’re a professional snake hunter. Really, what does that pay? Do you need a side hustle? Rat catcher? Uber driver?

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 22, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween
Nov. 3, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Monday – Veterans Day
Nov. 28, Thursday – Thanksgiving

BIRTHDAYS

Jason Sudeikis (actor, comedian, “Ted Lasso,” “SNL”) … 49
James Marsden (actor, “Westworld,” “Dead to Me”) … 51
Jada Pinkett Smith (actress) … 53
Aisha Tyler (actress, “Criminal Minds,” host of “Whose Line Is Is Anyway”) … 54
Kerry Livgren (guitarist with Kansas) … 75
Frankie Avalon (1950s/60s singer, actor) … 84

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“If I had my way, I’d wear jewelry, a great pair of heels, and nothing else.”

(A) Lester Holt
(B) Martha Stewart
(C) Jada Pinkett Smith

ANSWER: (C) Jada Pinkett Smith

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1995 – A 200-meter long pizza was cooked in Malo, Italy, setting a new world record.
* For heartburn.

1991 – France abolished execution by guillotine.
* That reminds me – I have to pick up some disposable razors on the way home.

1955 – The Kenner Company introduced “Play-Doh” to the world.
* And parents have been trying to get it out of their carpets ever since.

1927 – The Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System – a 16-station radio network that would eventually become CBS – was launched.
* So instead of an eye, was their first logo an ear?

1881 – The Chicago Tribune reported on an experiment with a new invention, an early form of television called “televideo.”
* And the test broadcast was hosted by Dick Clark.

1830 – The “Tom Thumb,” the first locomotive built in America, raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties.
* Starting the grand tradition of Amtrak.

1793 – U.S. President George Washington laid the actual cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol.
* That was in the days before government officials figured out how to arrange construction kickbacks.

1709 – The creator of the first dictionary of the English language, Samuel Johnson, was born in England.
* So before then, was there such a word as “dictionary”?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – Taylor Swift was at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Shake It Off.” It was Swift’s second No.1 single in the United States and the 22nd song to debut at No.1 in the chart’s history.

2009 – Leonard Cohen collapsed on stage during a concert in Valencia in Spain and was taken to a hospital. He was later discharged after doctors told him he had food poisoning. Cohen was in the middle of singing his song “Bird On The Wire” when he fainted, prompting the band to stop playing and rush to help him.

2007 – Britney Spears – during her “going nuts” phase – was dropped by her management company, one month after employing their services. Los Angeles-based The Firm said: “We have terminated our professional relationship with Britney Spears. We believe she is enormously talented, but current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job.”

2006 – 73-year-old country singer Willie Nelson and four members from his band were charged with drug possession after marijuana and magic mushrooms were found by police on his tour bus. Police had stopped the tour bus near Lafayette, Louisiana.

2004 – Britney Spears married dancer Kevin Federline.

1983 – The band Kiss appeared without their make-up for the first time, during an interview on MTV.

1970 – Guitar legend Jimi Hendrix, 27, was found dead in his London hotel bed from a drug overdose.

1947 – Ernest Tubb and Roy Acuff performed the first country show ever held at Carnegie Hall in New York City.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Research says we become visibly agitated if we have to wait more than 40 seconds for THIS. What is it?
An elevator

2. Around the world, THIS happens every 70 seconds. What is it?
McDonald’s sells a hamburger

3. The average one of THESE lasts 22 seconds. What is it?
A voice mail

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