TUESDAY, Aug 13 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, August 13, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: UNIVERSITY OF HIBBING ONLINE

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LEFT HANDERS DAY

NATIONAL FILET MIGNON DAY

NATIONAL PROSECCO DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

MILEY CYRUS NAMED A DISNEY LEGEND

Miley Cyrus was named a Disney Legend Sunday, making her the youngest artist to earn the accolade. In accepting the award, Cyrus, 31, said, “I’m gonna let everybody get on a little Disney Legend secret,” Cyrus said. “I’m the one that tells you what you’re not supposed to know. And what I want to say, is that legends get scared, too. I’m scared right now, but the difference is we do it anyway, and all of you can do that every single day. It’s legendary to be afraid and do it anyway. There is no such thing as failure when you try.”
* What the hell does that mean? Ecstasy kicked in a little early there, honey.
* And it extra hard to understand ’cause she had her tongue stuck all the way out and pointing to the left.
* “There is no such thing as failure when you try.” Well, unless you’re Boeing. Or Kevin Costner making his “Horizon” movies.
* Anyway, she grabbed the award, rubbed it on her crotch, thanked everyone and left.

THE BUZZ

UGLY? YOU’RE GONNA DIE

A new study claims that unattractive people are more likely to die younger than good looking people. Researchers claim that ‘ugly’ men live nearly a year less on average than those who were considered good looking. And unattractive women die on average two years earlier than attractive women. The researchers, all freakishly good looking, from Arizona State University and University of Texas at Austin, analyzed data from a long-running study that tracked more than 8,300 Wisconsin high school students from 1957 to their old age or death in 2022. First, they asked a panel of people to rate their attractiveness, according to their yearbook photo. Then, they checked the National Death Index and found almost half of the group had passed away by 2022. Those in the bottom of the six categories for attractiveness were 16.8 per cent more likely to have died than those in the middle four rankings.
* Oh, boy, I’d better write my will right now.
* I think the lesson here is, make sure you get a good yearbook photo. Don’t be shy about asking for a retake.
* And if you’re thinking of cosmetic surgery, get it done before the end of your junior year in high school.
* The weird thing is, that last extra year or two you could live – in your 80s or 90s – everybody pretty much looks equally horrible by then.
* But seriously, how does this explain Keith Richards?

CONSUMERS TURNED OFF BY “AI”

It turns out that tacking the “AI” label on products may actually drive people away. A study published in the Journal of Hospitality Marketing & Management found that describing a product as using AI lowers a customer’s intention to buy it. Researchers sampled participants across various age groups and showed them the same products – the only difference between them: one was described as “high tech” and the other as using artificial intelligence. They tested vacuum cleaners, TVs, consumer services, and health services. In every single case, the intention to buy or use the product or service was significantly lower whenever they mentioned AI in the product description.
* ‘Cause “AI” stands for “We added more electronics and software that will stop working in less than a year.”
* Isn’t it odd that they didn’t have to use AI to learn this.
* Well, you never have to worry about finding intelligence on THIS show, artificial or otherwise.
* I saw a tube of AI toothpaste in the store. If you don’t floss, it calls your dentist and tells your hygienist to nag you.

U.S. NEWS

MAN STEALS COP CAR WITH A COP IN IT

In New Haven, Connecticut, a man tried to steal a police cruiser that had a policeman in it. Officers had parked at a police substation. One officer was inside the building, another was sitting in the passenger seat writing a report. The suspect, who had previous run-ins with the police, approached the driver’s side of the vehicle and began yelling at the officer inside to get out of the car. When the officer unlocked the doors of the cruiser to exit, the man jumped into the driver’s seat while the officer tried to push him out. The man put the car in drive and quickly accelerated. The officer yanked the cruiser’s steering wheel, causing it to crash into a church across the street from the substation. The officer and the suspect, identified as 49-year-old Stacey Footman, suffered minor injuries from the incident. Among other counts, Footman was charged with larceny in the second degree.
* And grand theft auto in the dumbest degree.
* Shortest joyride ever.
* I think I see the flaw in this guy’s plan.
* I believe police call that the “oh, no you don’t” maneuver.
* The cop in the car’s thinking, “Great, another report to fill out. I’m never gonna get home.”

BEAR GOES AFTER TEACHER NAMED SALMON

Last week, school teacher Elaine Salmon was getting ready to prepare her classroom for the school year at Peak to Peak Mountain Charter School in Pine Mountain Club, California. She opened the classroom door and found a juvenile black bear charging at her. (* At this point, we’re supposed to appreciate that the bear was going after a big Salmon.) She quickly shut the door on the bear and called her husband, who just happens to run a business specializing in bear deterrence. He came and helped guide the bear out of the building and back into the mountains. The only damage to the classroom was to emergency earthquake kits that contained granola bars.
* As the bear was walking off, Mr. Salmon asked his wife, “Are you okay, honey?” and the bear came back.
* Someone should warn the third-grade teacher, Mr. Picanicbasket.
* Get rid of those granola bars. Toss ’em out by the playground.
* Since when did Back to School supplies include pencils, spiral notebooks and bear repellent?

FATHER & SON SOLVE UTAH TREASURE HUNT

A Utah father and son decoded a riddle and solved the annual Utah Treasure Hunt. Damon and Ty Johnson found a hidden treasure chest and collected a $25,000 prize. The small treasure chest was hidden near a rock along the Grove Creek hiking trail in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Damon Johnson said he would use the money to pay off debt, finish school and buy some school supplies for his son. The annual treasure hunt was created in 2020 by David Cline and John Maxim as a “public diversion” during the pandemic. This year’s hunt took about two months for someone to find.
— Here is the poem with the clues. It was created in Spanish; this is the translation:
“If you suffer pain that is cured with gold, (* They must be talking about athlete’s foot and Gold Bond foot spray.)
Find the shortcut where the choir sings,
Find the place it is named after,
Turn around and follow the shadow,
Where do you learn to smell ice cream?
Or did we eat lobsters in the past?
When you look at the sunrise again,
Go straight, you can do it,
Look at the numbers like you’re a crow
The age when he arrived is what I observe,
Now you’re close, one last clue
Move to the place with the best view.”
* Well obviously the answer is “near a rock along the Grove Creek hiking trail.” Who wouldn’t get that?
* Except nobody “learns” to smell ice cream. You’re a kid, you get ice cream for the first time, you smell it. Your nose can’t help it. Sheesh!
* Wait a minute – these are lyrics to a Billie Eilish song! (* REM works, too.)
* But, of course, the real treasure is the friends you pushed aside along the way, so you could get to the treasure first.

TRENDINGBAILEY ZIMMERMAN PERFORMS SHIRTLESS

Country star Bailey Zimmerman, performing at the Las Vegas stop of Morgan Wallen’s One Night at a Time Tour, opened the show wearing a Las Vegas Raiders football shirt. The show was being held in the same stadium that the Raiders call home. For some reason, the crowd started booing him, loudly, to the point that he stopped the show and stood there staring at the audience with a confused look on his face. He finally got the message that it was the Raiders shirt – most of the locals are NOT Raiders fans. He asked the crowd, “You guys want me to take it off or what?” He whipped off the shirt and did the rest of the set shirtless. No one complained.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Sebastian Stan (actor, Marvel’s Bucky Barnes – The Winter Soldier) … 42
Debbie Mazar (actress, “Younger,” “Entourage”) … 60
John Slattery (actor, Tony Stark’s father, “Mad Men”) … 62
Danny Bonaduce (actor, “The Partridge Family,” radio personality) … 65

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“People ask me, what was your rock bottom? I say, pick.”

(A) Charlie Sheen
(B) Andy Dick
(C) Danny Bonaduce

ANSWER: (C) Danny Bonaduce

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2016 – American swimmer Michael Phelps ended his career at the Rio Olympics as part of the winning 4×100 medley relay, his record 23rd gold medal. He is the most successful and most decorated Olympian of all time, with a total of 28 medals.
* Wow. Show off much?

1997 – The first episode of South Park aired.
* Poor Kenny had no idea what he was in for.

1961 – Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the flight of refugees from East Germany to West Germany. Two days later, work on the Berlin Wall began. It finally came down in 1989.
* And then the Soviet Union went to pieces.

1960 – “Echo I,” a balloon satellite, allowed the first two-way telephone conversation by satellite to take place.
* But the balloon made everyone’s voice sound like a Munchkin.

1924 – The company that would become Greyhound Bus Lines began when Carl Wickman began hauling Minnesota miners back and forth to work in his gray Hupmobile.
* It started out white, but one day of hauling miners and it was completely gray.

1907 – New York City’s first taxicab went into service.
* Boy, was HE busy!

1889 – William Gray of Hartford, CT patented the coin-operated telephone.
* Back then you could pay by either inserting two pennies, or four small potatoes.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2009 – Guitarist Les Paul died in a hospital in White Plains, New York at the age of 94, suffering from severe pneumonia. Paul is credited with developing one of the first solid-body electric guitars, which went on sale in 1952 and contributed to the birth of rock. He also developed other influential recording innovations such as multi-track recording and overdubbing.

2002 – Adam Ant pleaded guilty to threatening drinkers in a London pub. The former 1980’s pop star had returned to the bar with a starting pistol after being refused entry. He had also thrown a car alternator through the window of the pub.

1999 – Mick Jagger’s marriage to model Jerry Hall was declared null and void at the High Court in London. The annulment stopped an expected long and costly court battle, in which Ms. Hall, 43, was reportedly seeking millions of dollars from Jagger.

1977 – Randy Bachman quit Bachman Turner Overdrive. The group then disbanded.

1967 – Fleetwood Mac performed their first concert as “Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac featuring Jeremy Spencer” at the National Jazz and Blues Festival in England.

1924 – A country music record sold one million copies for the first time. It was “The Prisoner’s Song,” recorded by Vernon Dalhart.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A recent survey found that the average person spends about 45 hours a year doing THIS. What is it?
Talking about the weather

2. According to a recent survey, THIS lasts an average of about 9 1/2 hours. What is it?
A hangover

3. The average homeowner spends a total of about 72 hours a year doing THIS. What is it?
Waiting for a repair person to show up

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