TUESDAY, July 23 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, July 23, 2024
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ATTN – AFFILIATES AND FREE TRIAL RECIPIENTS:
The Paris Summer Olympics start this Friday. We want to draw your attention to a feature we always do: daily comedy Olympic Updates. We’ve got 11 of them – one for every weekday (7/26 – 8/9) while the games are happening. Each runs about a minute – some a little longer, some a little shorter. We will be posting ALL of them this Wednesday, July 24, in the Comedy MP3 column on the Sidekick Main Page. We are doing this so you can hear them all in advance and decide if you want to commit to a daily bit for two weeks, or just pick and choose your favorites. As always, you are welcome to air these anytime on your station, and post them to your webpage or socials.
There’s a link to one of the Olympic Updates below so you can hear how they work. Again, all of them will be posted Wednesday.
In addition, throughout the games, we will be posting some of our favorite Olympic-themed comedy spots and songs from the past that always get a good audience reaction.
So… we’ve got you covered with Olympic material, if you want it. We hope you like it; we know your listeners will.
Thanks,
Morning Sidekick
CLIP: Olympic Update – High Dive
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/07-24-OlympicParis02-HighDive(dot)mp3

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL GORGEOUS GRANDMA DAY
The National Today website says this:
“Alice Solomon graduated at the age of 50 from Wellesley College in 1984. She realized that society saw her and other women of her age as senior citizens, regardless of whether or not they were actual ‘grandmothers.’ Determined to challenge this thinking, she came up with the idea of ‘Gorgeous Grandma.’ Women who were apparently ‘beyond their expiration date’ and no longer relevant are termed ‘grandmas,’ so Solomon decided to embrace the term, but amped it up with the use of the word ‘gorgeous.’ Gorgeous Grandma is all about presenting an edgier image of older women and eliminating stereotypes confining them in a limited box.”

NATIONAL VANILLA ICE CREAM DAY

PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month

THE BUZZ

RUDE HOUSEGUESTS

Reddit asked, “What’s the weirdest thing a guest has ever done at your house?” Some of the responses:
– “We had a couple over for dinner. They stayed and stayed. Around midnight, they asked where they should sleep – they said since we’d given them alcohol, they wouldn’t be able to drive. It was a small one-bedroom apartment. I gave them a couple of blankets and pillows and said they could sleep on the couch or floor. We did not invite them again.”
– “My mother-in-law left a note one morning: ‘I was emptying your dishwasher, and I didn’t really know where anything was supposed to go, so I went ahead and rearranged all your cabinets in a way that made sense to me.'”
– “A guy I knew from high school stayed at my house a few years back, he needed a place to crash for the night. I showed him how to use my Firestick so he could watch TV, and then I went to bed. I woke up in the morning to a bunch of emails from Amazon. ‘Thanks for Signing up for HBO Go.’ ‘Thanks for signing up for the Showtime app.’ and more premium movie channel apps.”
– “I walked in on her, soaking her feet in my largest Tupperware which I used for larger leftovers.”
– “They said they had to vacate because of a hurricane and asked to stay with us for a few days. A week went by, and they were still there. Turns out the hurricane didn’t hit near their town, and the husband took a two-week vacation from work. They were going to stay with us for two weeks without asking.”
– “A friend of a friend came over, she would always pretend to be a cat. She would slowly push stuff off the countertops and tables. The first time, it was a little funny because we were high, but she kept doing it and doing it. She actually pushed glassware off my table, shattering it, so I finally had to ban her from my apartment.”
– “I had some work people over for a dinner party at my house. I went upstairs to check on my dog and heard some noises from the primary bedroom. I walked in and saw a co-worker using my toothbrush to get dip out from in between his teeth.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the weirdest or rudest thing a houseguest has done to you?

THE WORST MESSAGES TO TEXT ON A DATING APP

A recent survey of single British people from the dating app Breeze revealed the 30 worst messages to send to somebody you’re trying to introduce yourself to. Don’t send these messages:
1. Send pics
2. Eggplant emoji
3. Hey sexy, what’s your number?
4. Do you like bad boys/girls?
5. Without me? (When you say you’re going to take a shower)
6. You’re so HAWT
7. Ur so sexy
8. Phwoarr (*The equivalent of “Wowser!’ or something akin to “you’re hot!”)
9. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
10. I think my Spotify is broken. You’re not listed in the hottest singles.
11. What u wearing?
12. Does your friend on your profile pic have IG?
13. DTF? (“Down To F—?”)
14. Imagine what our children will look like
15. Heyyyyyy
16. I have serious co-dependency issues
17. Why are you single?
18. Tell me why I should go on a date with you?
19. You up?
20. Morning beautiful
21. Yours or mine?
22. Wassup?
23. You’re the girl/boy of my dreams
24. Can I add you on Insta/Snapchat?
25. I could get lost in your eyes
26. Wyd?
27. You’re the boy/girl of my dreams
28. Thanks for not unmatching me
29. Fire emoji
30. Dancer emojis
* Thanks, England. Stay classy.
* How about when you type these in, the app flashes a red flag and refuses to send?
* I believe Prince William used at least half of these to woo Kate Middleton.
* I get at least a half a dozen of these message from my wife everyday.

U.S. NEWS

OSCAR MEYER WIENERMOBILE CRASHES

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was involved in a rollover crash Monday morning outside of Chicago on the Tri-State Tollway near Oak Brook, Illinois. The Wienermobile and a car were both going north on the tollway when the Wienermobile struck the car, lost control and rolled over, The right lane on northbound Interstate 294 was shut down for more than an hour following the crash. There were no injuries, including the driver of the Wienermobile, which are known as hotdoggers.
* They ran the driver down to the station, where they grilled ‘im.
* He was probably trying to outrun that Joey Chestnut guy, the guy who eats all the hot dogs.
* There was a little front-end damage and, well… now the Wienermobile is Jewish.
* Teaching an old hot dog a new trick: roll over.

MAN DECAPITATES SEAGULL FOR STEALING FRIES

A New Jersey man tore a seagull’s head off after it tried to steal French fries from his daughter — then fought with the cops who tried to arrest him for animal cruelty. Franklin Zeigler, 29, of Cape May, was at Surfside Pier on the Wildwood boardwalk on July 6 when a seagull tried to make off with the fries. In a fit of rage, Zeigler attacked the unfortunate bird and ripped its head off its body. He then asked boardwalk workers for a trash bag so he could dispose of the gull’s remains. Cops showed up, and Zeigler quickly got irate with the officers, and he was charged him with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
* The Ozzy Osbourne Hall of Fame just added another member.
* Knowing seagulls, a good lawyer could build a pretty good case of self-defense.
* He’s from New Jersey. I’m surprised he didn’t leave the head on the pier as a warning to the other seagulls.
* His daughter learned a valuable lesson – don’t mess with Dad.
* One down, 70 million to go.

TOILET STOLEN IN MEMPHIS

Memphis Police are looking for two people caught on surveillance video stealing a toilet from someone’s home. On July 9, officers responded to a burglary and found security video of a man and woman who uninstalled and stole a toilet from the residence. No arrests have been made, but police say that this is an on-going investigation.
* Buncha real jokers in the Memphis police department.
* No one likes plunging into the dark world of toilet theft.
* Unlike the police, the family have nothing to go on.
* It may already have been sold on the black market. Or the brown market.
* Hopefully, someone will come forward who knows about the stolen toilet. Some stoolie.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SOCCER FANS THROW FISH CAKES ONTO THE FIELD

A professional soccer game was suspended in Norway when fans threw fish cakes onto the field. The crowd at the match between Rosenborg BK and Lillestromwas was protesting the use of a Video Assistant Referee or VAR. Fans hate the Video Ref because it takes too much time to make a decision. Play was stopped mere minutes after kickoff due to the fish cakes raining down on the field. The fish cakes were cleaned up and players soon returned to the field, but the game was stopped a second time when fans from both sides continued to throw fish cakes, and started adding tennis balls and smoke bombs into the mix. The game was officially suspended after just over a half hour of play with a real cliffhanger of a score, 0-0.
* As they always say in Norway soccer when fish cakes are thrown: At least this year we eat.
* They added smoke bombs the second time ’cause Norwegians love smoked fish.
* Fish cakes? Birthdays must be horrible in Norway.
* Then the feral cats attacked.

COCAINE SHARKS

Trace amounts of cocaine have been detected in sharks near Brazil. Brazilian researchers captured 13 Brazilian sharpnose sharks off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. The species is relatively small, measuring under three feet in length, and it feeds mostly on small fish and squid. The scientists dissected them to get samples of their muscles and livers, which were then analyzed for signs of cocaine and related chemicals. The results were shocking: Every single shark tested positive for cocaine. Cocaine makes its way into the ocean through several avenues, including release from inadequate sewage treatment facilities and stray packets dropped into the water by smugglers. Besides sharks, the drug has also infiltrated various forms of aquatic life, including mollusks, crustaceans, and bony fish.
* Obviously all those bales of marijuana lost in the oceans were their gateway drug.
* This explains why, if you are ever attacked by a shark, you can distract them with gold chains. The more the better.
* I believe Keith Richards wrote about snorting sharks in his memoir.
* At least they’re not shooting heroin – after a couple hours of trying to use a hypodermic, they usually give up.
* Boy, the screenplay just writes itself here.

TRENDING

LAINEY WILSON SPLITS PANTS DURING SHOW

Lainey Wilson split her pants during a performance at Faster Horses Festival in Brooklyn, Mich., on Saturday night. Fortunately, Wilson’s team spotted the issue and pulled her offstage to change before the fans got a more revealing concert experience than they bargained for. Wilson joked with the crowd once she reemerged in a fresh pair of bell bottoms: “Y’all almost got, like, a real show. There’s a first show for everything, and I’m glad it was y’all I split my pants wide open in front of.”

LEBRON JAMES TO CARRY US FLAG AT OLYMPICS

Los Angeles Lakers superstar LeBron James has been selected as the male flagbearer for Team USA at Friday’s Olympic Games opening ceremony. The 39-year-old was nominated by his fellow American Olympians as the male flagbearer. James, a two-time gold medallist, will be competing in his fourth Games in Paris.

TRAVIS BARKER RUNS 5K WITH FANS BEFORE SHOW

Travis Barker, drummer of legendary punk band Blink 182, ran a 5K with fans before his band’s Sunday night concert in New York City at Citi Field. The run was to raise money for a good cause: The Boys and Girls Clubs of Los Angeles and New York. Many runners wore Blink 182 shirts, and the band’s hits provided the pre-race soundtrack as runners warmed up and stretched out ahead of the 3.1-mile race, which began in the stadium parking lot. Barker, 48, called it “just the coolest thing ever.” He finished in just under 21 minutes — good enough to take 35th overall.

DUKE FAKIR, FOUNDER OF THE FOUR TOPS, DIES AT 88

Duke Fakir, the stylish singer who nurtured the Four Tops’ legacy for seven decades, died at his home in Detroit on Monday morning from heart failure. He was 88. Fakir was a lifelong Detroit resident, was the last surviving member of the beloved Motown act, preceded in death by his teen friends and groupmates Lawrence Payton, Obie Benson and Levi Stubbs. With the Four Tops, Fakir was a voice on a vast litany of hits through the decades, including some of the defining songs of the 1960s, such as the Top 10 successes “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch),” “It’s the Same Old Song,” “Bernadette,” “Standing in the Shadows of Love” and the group’s 1966 magnum opus, “Reach Out I’ll Be There.” Fakir and the group continued to pump out hits into the ’80s, including the chart-topping R&B song “When She Was My Girl.” Over the years, Fakir kept the Four Tops name alive, enlisting new members and regularly taking the group’s polished, high-energy stage show on the road.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Daniel Radcliffe (actor, “Harry Potter” movies) … 35
Michelle Williams (singer, “Destiny’s Child”, actress) … 44
Stephanie March (actress, “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit”) … 50
Monica Lewinsky (former sex toy of President Bill Clinton) … 51
Woody Harrelson (actor) … 63

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I don’t really care about how I look.”

(A) Beyonce
(B) RuPaul
(C) Daniel Radcliffe

ANSWER: (C) Daniel Radcliffe

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2000 – Tiger Woods became the youngest golfer to complete a career Grand Slam when he won the British Open at age 24.
* If only he had limited his swinging to golf clubs.

1998 – U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii used a cloning technique to produce more than 50 “carbon-copy” mice.
* The process had already been in use for some time to manufacture boy bands.

1973 – Then-president Richard Nixon refused to release tapes of Watergate-related conversations.
* Fans were forced to rely on low-quality bootlegs.

1935 – An airplane crashed into the Empire State Building.
* If you think I’m going to make a joke about a plane hitting a building, you’re out of your mind.

1904 – The ice cream cone, invented by salesman Charles Menches, was introduced to the public at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis.
* It was a great improvement on the traditional dessert of the day: the “Pocketful of Ice Cream.”

1829 – The first working typewriter was patented.
* Imagine – you could produce a page of type without a computer, word processor, or printer!

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2013 – Beyonce soldiered through a concert in Montreal, Canada after her hair got tangled in the blades of a fan. The singer was performing ‘Halo’ from an audience pit when the incident happened. She continued to sing her encore while security guards tried to extract her from the fan, which was mounted on the edge of the stage.

2011 – Amy Winehouse was found dead from alcohol poisoning at her north London home. She was 27.

1998 – It was announced that Iron Maiden would have to cancel the remainder of its U.S. dates due to throat troubles for vocalist Blaze Bayley, whose doctor advised him not to sing for one month.

1993 – Nirvana played a surprise show at the New Music Seminar at Roseland in New York City. The band showcased songs from its yet to be released album, “In Utero.”

1980 – Keith Godchaux, former keyboardist of the Grateful Dead, died in an auto wreck at the age of 32.

1977 – Judas Priest began its first U.S. tour in Oakland, Calif., as the opening act for Led Zeppelin.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In a survey asking women the top 3 things that can ruin their day, THIS was Number 3. What is it?
When clothes fit too tight

2. In a survey asking women the top 3 things that can ruin their day, THIS was Number 2. What is it?
A co-worker

3. In a survey asking women the top 3 things that can ruin their day, THIS was Number 1. What is it?
An argument with their significant other

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