MAN ROBS ICE CREAM TRUCK WITH ASSAULT RIFLE
A man with an assault rifle robbed an ice cream truck in Chicago’s Avondale neighborhood. The ice cream truck was parked to sell ice cream in 83-degree heat. According to witnesses, a man drove up, walked over and pointed the gun at the truck driver. Said a witness: “The driver was kind of confused. He was like ‘What are you asking me?'” The robber then turned the gun on a man waiting at the truck’s window to buy ice cream. “What are you looking at?” the thief asked him, according to the witness. The robber took the money, got in his car, and drove off. Said one neighborhood resident, “How much money can an ice cream truck have?”
* Are you kidding? Have you ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? You need a second mortgage for one of those toasted almond dessert bars.
* Ounce for ounce, ice cream truck ice cream is as valuable as printer ink.
* In fact, the smart move here would have been to steal the whole truck.
* “I scream, you scream, we all scream BECAUSE THAT GUY’S GOT AN ASSAULT RIFLE!!! AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!”
* The driver gave up so easy ’cause he’s such a Mr. Softee.
* He pulls an ice cream cone, you pull out an assault rifle. That’s the Chicago way. (see clip below)
* The driver was kind of confused? Hey, if you heard that ice cream truck jingle 8-hours a day, you’d be confused too.
* The thief asked a customer “What are you looking at?” “Oh, I don’t know, just an ARMED ROBBERY, something I’ve only ever seen ON TELEVISION. DUH!!!”
* Then BLAMMO!
* It’s different when they catch you robbing an ice cream truck. The police yell, “Brain Freeze!”
* Chicago’s gone from Al Capone to this? What’s happened to this country?
* Now there’s a nickname that’ll really impress the other prisoners: “Look over there, it’s the Ice Cream Truck Bandit.”
* Great. Thanks so much for this story. Now I’m going to crave ice cream all day.
CLIP: “That’s the Chicago way.” from ‘The Untouchables’.
