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Today Is…

TUESDAY – May 19

MONDAY – May 18

FRIDAY – May 15

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

TUESDAY ALMANAC – May 19

MONDAY ALMANAC – May 18

FRIDAY ALMANAC – May 15

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

TUESDAY TRIVIA – May 19

MONDAY TRIVIA – May 18

FRIDAY TRIVIA – May 15

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

ERIC CHURCH GIVES AWESOME COMMENCEMENT SPEECH

Brought to you by Gibson guitars: “Only a Gibson is Good Enough.” Gibson.

“SURVIVOR GREECE” CONTESTANT LOSES A LEG

𝖳̶𝗁̶𝗂̶𝗌̶ 𝗐̶𝖺̶𝗌̶ 𝗇̶𝗈̶ 𝖻̶𝗈̶𝖺̶𝗍̶𝗂̶𝗇̶𝗀̶ 𝖺̶𝖼̶𝖼̶𝗂̶𝖽̶𝖾̶𝗇̶𝗍̶ Actually, it WAS a boating accident.

TAYLOR SWIFT, REBA, BEYONCÉ, WEEZER GETS INTO THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

Also Buddy Holly and Mary Tyler Moore.

THE ROLLING STONES DE-AGED IN NEW VIDEO

Time is on their side.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

THE EVEL KNIEVEL EXPERIENCE

Jumpin’ jiminy!

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

WOMAN WINS BIGGEST-EVER PRIZE ON “THE PRICE IS RIGHT”

Have your pets spayed or neutered.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

What do they call it when it’s raining coins outside?

posted May 18
Climate change.

How much wine did the old Spanish sailors drink?

posted May 15
Galleons and Galleons.

This guy’s father dies, so he goes to the undertaker.

posted May 14
Tells him he wants the best of everything for his father. The funeral the funeral is absolutely beautiful, and the guy is very pleased. Then he gets a bill for $16,000, and he pays it. The next month, he gets another bill for $85. He figures it’s a supplemental charge bill, so he pays that, too. Next month, another bill for $85 arrives, so he calls up the undertaker and says, “I keep getting these bills for 85 dollars. I thought I paid for the funeral already.” The undertaker says, “You said you wanted the best for your father, so I rented him a tux.”

Did you hear about the woman who passed out on the merry-go-round?

posted May 13
She’s coming around now.

Pirate walks into a bar.

posted May 11
He has a roll of paper towels on his head. The bartender asks, “what’s with the roll of paper towels on your head?” Pirate says, “Arr, there’s Bounty on me head.”

U.S. NEWS

DIRT SERVED AT FUNDRAISER DINNER

Mississippi Mud?

BANK ROBBER WROTE STICK-UP NOTE ON SON’S HOMEWORK

Next time, go paperless.

DEAR CHATGPT: WILL THEY KNOW IF I SMASHED THOSE CARS?

Yes. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

MAN SUES PORTA POTTY COMPANY OVER RUINED SEX LIFE

And that stinks.

MAN WINS LOTTERY, DOESN’T TELL HIS FAMILY

That’s rich.

FATHER OF THE YEAR: SEATBELTS, LICENSE, WARRANTS, TODDLERS, SNOT, AND A GUN

Six in the chamber, three in the backseat.

GUY FORGETS BITCOIN PASSWORD, AI FINDS IT FOR HIM

What a dope. Speaking of dope…

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SHERPA GUIDE SUMMITS EVEREST FOR THE 32ND TIME

Next person to ask him, “What’s up?” gets slugged.

AUDIO: BULGARIA WINS EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

Bangaranga.

THE 59,000-YEAR-OLD DENTIST

Tim Conway?

ATTEMPT TO CROSS THE ATLANTIC IN A 4-FOOT BOAT

Sail on, sailor.

TOUR COMPANY REFUNDS FAMILY $1200 BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T FIND POOL CHAIRS

Who are we to sit in judgment?

MAN WALKS INTO HOSPITAL WITH A MACHETE IN HIS HEAD

Not an episode of The Pitt.

AUDIO: DRIVER CRASHES INTO MURAL THAT LOOKS LIKE A TUNNEL ENTRANCE

© Looney Tunes (1954)

TIMMY THE WHALE, R.I.P.

Aw, quit your blubberin’!

FUNNY PICTURES

Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.

Hey – My Eyes Are Up Here!

posted May 18

Balalalalalalalalalalaika

posted May 18

“What’s The Buzz?” “Hmmmmm…”

posted May 15

Well, He’s Just Asking For It

posted May 15

Secret Bear Handshake

posted May 14

When Hydrants Get Cold

posted May 14

THE BUZZ

DO YOU THANK AI?

You’d better.

UNUSUAL BUSINESS EXPENSES

Oh, those sales reps!

1 IN 8 KIDS HAVE HAD A PARENT ARRESTED

Sorry your mom’s in jail, bro.

DUMB HEADLINES

Have listeners vote for the dumbest one.

AMERICAN ____________

What is this, The Match Game?

HALF OF AMERICANS NOT HAVING ENOUGH FUN

To whee! or not to whee!

IT SEEMED LUXURIOUS AS A CHILD

We spoil you kids.

USEFUL LIFEHACKS

Who has ten minutes anymore?

TRENDING

ACADEMY OF COUNTRY MUSIC AWARD WINNERS

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (May 15-17)

BRENDAN FRASER TO START INDY 500

GUEST LINEUP FOR LAST WEEK OF COLBERT’S THE LATE SHOW

WORLD CUP HALFTIME SHOW: SHAKIRA, BTS, MADONNA

PRESENTERS AND PERFORMERS AT THIS SUNDAY’S ACM AWARDS

“WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC GETS A BROADWAY SHOW

CONAN HOSTING THE OSCARS YET AGAIN

NEW MOVIES

Click on name for details and audio clips

THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU

Starts Friday, May 22 in theaters.

OBSESSION

Starts Friday, May 15 in theaters.

IN THE GREY

Starts Friday, May 15 in theaters.

IS GOD IS

Starts Friday, May 15 in theaters.

Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.

LAWN LAWYER

Who needs a lawn doctor?

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, May 15.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

A & M AUTOLAND – Service

Which will have a breakdown first – your new car from A & M, or Big Mike?

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, May 8.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Funny fake sponsorship announcements

A & M AUTOLAND – Putting Green

Big Al and Big Mike … who’s the bigger putz?

SONG PARODY: TANK OF GAS

What decade is this again?

STAR WARS BABIES

Baby Yoda!

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, May 1.

HEADLINE PARK 2026

For air May 1. The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday, May 2!

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

A & M AUTOLAND – Save 112 Percent

Ordinarily, Al and Mike can’t even pay people to take their cars – but during this sale, they will!

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, April 24.

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