MAN FROM THE FUTURE STEALS ARBY'S FOOD

Police arrested an Oklahoma City man last Friday after he allegedly claimed to be from the future and stole food from Arby’s. Cops say 36-year-old Dante Rashad Anderson first went into a Carl’s Junior and began screaming and demanding food. Employees were able to get Anderson to leave and he walked across the street to Arby’s. Anderson jumped onto the Arby’s counter and demanded food. He grabbed a handful of bacon and chicken and walked out. But on his way out, Anderson mentioned that he is from four years in the future and that this is how people in the future get food. Then he busted a glass door. Anderson next walked across the street, while eating bacon, and kicked several vehicles. Police were able to track down Anderson, lying on the ground outside of a Taco Mayo restaurant. Anderson allegedly told police that he is “four years advanced” and on his planet “everyone is dead”.
* Dead from bacon addiction, apparently.
* In Canada, this is called “Back Bacon to the Future”.
* This is how people in the future get food. And get laid. ‘Cause everyone else is dead.
* Four years in the future? So who caused all the devastation – Hillary or Trump?
* Legal experts note that, technically, the man is innocent. Being from the future, he hasn’t actually consumed the food yet.
* I thought I’d never hear a science fiction plot worse than “Transcendence,” but son of a gun, here it is.
* Carl’s Junior? Arby’s? Taco Mayo? First of all, he needs to move to a neighborhood with some better restaurants.
* No wonder Kevin Durant is thinking of leaving OKC.
* You know that Arby’s white sauce that sits on the tables all day? That’s the only thing in the future that doesn’t change.
* I guess the guy kicked several vehicles because in the future, cars have feelings.
* Of course, he was lying down when the cops found him. That diet would drop anybody.
* Then, just when everything settled down, the Terminator showed up.