SURPRISE ROCKET LAUNCH THURSDAY

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos successfully tested a vehicle that will take tourists into space. Mr. Bezos’ firm, called the Blue Origin company, has performed the first successful test of the vehicle they hope will make that dream a reality. Called New Shepard, the vehicle consists of a main booster rocket and a six-seater capsule on top, standing 60 feet tall. It looks exactly like a penis. The first test flight of the rocket was unmanned – but the company hopes to soon start taking customers into space. The cost of a ticket has not yet been announced, but estimates suggest it will be around $200,000 – similar to a flight on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic. The difference, however, is that while Galactic relies on using a plane to slowly rise into the atmosphere, New Shepard takes off straight up and lands back on the ground. This is known as vertical takeoff, vertical landing. The test flight yesterday took many by surprise, because the company didn’t make any announcements that it would be launching a rocket.
* $200,000? I hope you at least get a T-shirt.
* Taking off straight up is known as a vertical takeoff? Wow. Way to bring the technical stuff.
* Landing back on the ground is called a vertical landing? Okay, but it better not be too fast when it happens.
* Coming straight down is also known as a crater.
* The rocket does look exactly like a penis. I think that’s Jeff Bezos’s way of sticking it in Richard Branson’s face.
* Wait just a minute – giant flying penis vs. VIRGIN Galactic! It’s GENIUS.
* How about if one day the giant penis does a rendezvous and docking with the Virgin ship?
* Then Branson would have to change the name.
* “Is that a giant rocket or are you just glad to be a billionaire?”
* I love these competing billionaires who have no real idea what they’re doing heading out into space.
* You know the phrase: It’s not rocket science? Well this is. This IS rocket science.