HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE OVERINDULGING YOUR KID?

Jean Illsley Clarke has done a lot of research into childhood overindulgence. Being overindulged as a kid has been linked to an inability to delay gratification, a lack of gratitude and self-control, and an increase in materialistic values as an adult. In her book “How Much Is Too Much? Raising Likeable, Responsible, Respectful Children – From Toddlers to Teens – In an Age of Overindulgence,” (* Jeeze, there’s a little bit of overindulgence in that book title, huh?) Clarke includes a test that parents of kids two and older can take to see if they’re overindulging. Some of the questions:
– “The majority of the time, I give my child all the toys she/he wants, yes or no?”
– “The majority of the time, I hate to see my child be frustrated, yes or no?”
How do you know if what you’re buying is an overindulgence:
– Does it disproportionately drain family resources?
– Is it really more for the parents than the kid?
– Does it intrude on a kid’s developmental learning?
– Is there any possible harm to others or society?
If you say “Yes” to any – it’s probably not a good idea.
Clarke tells parents not to feel guilty about denying your child something. “So many aspects of our culture are pushing you: ‘You must give your children all these experiences. You must buy them all these things.’ The pressures are there. So don’t bite.”
* So, maybe your daughter doesn’t need a pony… for her American Girl doll.
* It’s also a bad sign if you buy the book and your kid burns it.
* Sure, the economy just got out of a ten-year recession. This would be a great time to stop buying stuff.
* It’s thinking like this that made Toys ‘R’ Us go under.