HOW TO CHECK THOSE “ECLIPSE GLASSES”

For the last time: How can you be absolutely certain you have a legit pair of eclipse glasses that will protect your eyes? If you have legit glasses– and not fakes, like the ones Amazon recalled earlier this week– you shouldn’t be able to see ANYTHING but the sun. No lights. Nothing – just the sun. Just because they’re labeled “ISO 12312-2” doesn’t mean they’re going to work – they could be fake. If you can see shaded lamps or other common household light fixtures they’re no good (Although you might be able to see a bare light bulb). If you look through your eclipse glasses and find the sun to be uncomfortably bright, out of focus or surrounded by a bright haze, they’re no good.
* In that case, rip the glasses off the person standing next to you and while they’re busy screaming “My eyes! My eyes!”, move a couple of steps away and watch the eclipse in comfort.
* The pair I bought says “X-ray Specs” on the side, so they must be extra good.
* Remember to save you eclipse glasses for the next time you’re at the beach and an old man in a Speedo walks by.)
* I’m sick of hearing about the eclipse, so I bought some Eclipse Ear Plugs. (and when someone on your morning team responds, you say, “What?”