MONDAY, July 1 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, July 1, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: NEWSSTAND FIREWORKS 2024

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CREATIVE ICE CREAM FLAVORS DAY

INTERNATIONAL JOKE DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

MONDAY, July 1

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Star Trek: Prodigy”

TUESDAY, July 2

“Hard Knocks: Offseason With the New York Giants”
HBO – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Documents the team’s activities during the NFL offseason.

“Space Cadet”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: A woman who had dreams of becoming an astronaut as a young girl but made some bad life choices eventually makes her way into the NASA program.

“Sprint”
Netflix – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Elite sprinters navigate training, media scrutiny and fierce competition in this sports series following their race to become the world’s fastest humans.

WEDNESDAY, July 3

“Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Forty years after the premiere of “Beverly Hills Cop,” Axel Foley returns to California after his daughter Jane’s life is threatened, leading him to reunite with John Taggart and Billy Rosewood to uncover a conspiracy.

THE BUZZ

MY SHORTEST DATE

Reddit asked, “What’s the shortest date you’ve ever been on?” Some of the responses:
– “Met a guy online. He started making fun of my voice the moment I got in the car. I told him I left my wallet inside, ran in to ‘get it,’ and texted him that he needed to leave immediately and never contact me again. Time spent: About 45 seconds.”
– “Met for a beer. She ordered 2 beers, chugged them both and then had to go.”
– “Guy I was crushing on for months invited me to house party…got there, it was an Amway meeting. I was out of there in five minutes.”
– “About 30 minutes. She showed up with a friend, and so did I. Our friends ended up marrying each other.”
– “He opened the door for me while calling me ‘Princess Tiny’ and patted me on the head. I turned around and left. 3 minutes.”
– “Five seconds into sitting down he told me it was a dare.”
– “He waited until I went to the bathroom and literally ran out of the bar without saying anything, then texted me later to tell me that I was uglier than he expected.”
– “Went to the river with someone, he emptied his pockets which consisted of his phone, wallet, and a condom. And then proceeded to show me his ‘parkour’ skills while he jumped from rock to rock.”
– “I got set up by a co-worker with her brother. Brother showed up at the door with a ball python wrapped around him. HELL NO. Door slammed.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What was your shortest date?

U.S. NEWS

WOMEN ARRESTED FOR STEALING BATS

In Asheville, North Carolina, three women were arrested, accused of stealing bats from the high-end bat company D-BAT. The women were caught on store surveillance video stashing the bats in their long skirts at a D-BAT store. They fled on foot, but a store employee followed and they were found nearby hiding in bushes. The bats range in price from $60 to hundreds of dollars each. The total cost of the stolen bats was $3,850. There had been reports of bats stolen from other D-BAT stores in the area.
* Dingbats.
* They wanted to start A League of Their Own?
* The runners were headed for home, but it was a good catch by the store employee.
* Guess it’s down to the police station for some hardball.

GOLFER MAKES BACK-TO-BACK HOLES IN ONE

On Friday, Frank Bensel Jr. made two holes-in-one in a row at the second round of the US Senior Open. He scored them on the par-three 4th and 5th holes of Rhode Island’s Newport Country Club. The first was 184 yards from tee to cup, the second 203 yards. No golfer has ever made back-to-back aces in any PGA-Tour-sanctioned event. Unfortunately, he followed the feat with four consecutive bogeys, and ended one-over par for the round.
* So he’s simultaneously fantastically good and not that great.
* He celebrated big by buying a round of ice tea for everyone at Country Buffet.
* A pair of aces is usually limited to tennis, or the poker table.
* Don’t the PGA Seniors play with gutter guards, like in bowling, to help the ball get near the hole?

SCORPION INVASION IN TEXAS

Central Texas is seeing an increase in scorpion invasions this summer, more than past years. Local pest control services have noticed a rise in demand for scorpion extermination. This influx of scorpions comes as a result of the increasing heat, according to Alan Brown, a board certified entomologist: “What’s happening now is it’s getting so hot outside, getting dry, they’re seeking a cooler place to go.” Scorpions are known to lurk in trees, so pruning branches near windows or roofs can help prevent their entry. They are also tempted by damp spaces which means you could uncover them in your swimming pool, toilet or showers. They float on water.
* They also like to pose as Uber drivers, and they have developed the ability eat their way through glass.
* They are sexually attracted to big toes.
* If the scorpions are seeking a cooler place to go, why not try a jazz club?
* Don’t worry, Texans, the heat will kill you long before the scorpions will.
* And to think we were bothered about cicadas.

PUT YOUR ASHES UNDER UNIV. OF NEBRASKA FOOTBALL FIELD

A University of Nebraska regent has proposed a way for lifelong Cornhusker fans to carry their support for the team into the afterlife. Regent Barbara Weitz suggested that, when Memorial Stadium undergoes its next renovation, they build a columbarium – a structure of cubbyholes – under the football field, where departed fans can have their ashes placed. She suggested the price for for the storage cubbies could vary depending on location, with a spot under the 50-yard line or end zone sold at a premium. Weitz claims she pitched the idea as a joke, but didn’t think any proposal should be dismissed out of hand with the university facing a $58 million budget shortfall. Revenue, she said, would go to academics.
* True: The Cornhuskers have sold out an NCAA-record 396 consecutive games at Memorial Stadium, a streak that dates back to 1962. The stadium holds 85,458, but sometimes attendance exceeds 90,000. And with TV and bowl games and concessions and parking, you can see why the university has no money for education.
* Speaking of money, how much is Barbara Weitz getting paid to come up with these great ideas?
* The end zone would really be THE END zone.
* How can you rest in peace with all that racket above you?
* Why not pack each game-day ball with a loved one’s ashes?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

JAPANESE OLYMPIANS TO WEAR NON-VOYEURISTIC UNIFORMS

While the American Olympic team uniforms have been getting skimpier and more revealing, to the embarrassment of some athletes, the Japanese have taken things in a more tasteful direction. The Japanese uniforms are made from a material that can block infrared imaging, a technology that can reveal underwear or body contours. During the games, infrared cameras installed at various places can potentially capture voyeuristic images of female athletes, which can later be circulated on pornographic sites. The fabric, developed by Japanese sports equipment manufacturer Mizuno, contains a material that absorbs light within the infrared spectrum. Thus, it makes clothes “nearly wholly opaque” under both visible and infrared light. The Japanese women’s volleyball, athletics, and table tennis teams are expected to wear uniforms using the infrared-blocking fabric.
* Infrared porn perverts. This is the world we’re living in.
* It’s now a war between horniness and science.
* Now the pervs will have to go back to making the athletes look naked with AI.
* Those American baseball players with those new see-through uniforms must be putting the Mizuno company on speed dial.
* Can I get a suit made out of that material for when I go through airport security?

CHINESE SHEEP BUTT TOUCHING EASES STRESS

A weird trend has emerged among young people in China: touching the buttocks of sheep to relieve stress. Markets in northwest China’s Xinjiang province were crowded with tourists waiting in line to touch the sheep butts. One Chinese tourist said that the animals’ rumps feel bouncy and soft, and claimed that touching them is “incredibly addictive,” adding, “This is really stress-relieving.” Said another, “I flew five hours to Xinjiang just to pat sheep buttocks because this experience is impossible to have in a busy city.” People on social media are sharing guides that detail sheep breeds for a better touching sensation and optimal patting angles.
* What the hell did I just read?
* The sheep have to be more than a little nervous about this.
* Great. People get their stress reduced and the sheep have the opposite reaction.
* Don’t tell PETA. Their heads will explode.
* Young people in China 1989: They rise up to demonstrate for democracy in Tiananmen Square. Young people in China 2024: Can’t wait to touch sheep butts. Sad.
* They need to open a chain of sheep-touching stores. Call it The Baa-Baa-Shop.

TRENDING

MICHAEL J. FOX JOINS COLDPLAY AT GLASTONBURY

Actor Michael J. Fox performed with rock band Coldplay at Britain’s Glastonbury festival on Saturday. Fox, 63, played guitar on the songs “Humankind” and “Fix You” while sitting in a wheelchair at the end of the show. The band’s lead singer Chris Martin described Fox as “legendary” and “someone who just totally rocks.” Martin squatted down next to Fox while he sang. Fox has been mostly retired from acting as his Parkinson’s disease, with which he was diagnosed in 1991, has worsened.

BILL GATES’ DAUGHTER DATING PAUL MCCARTNEY’S GRANDSON

It’s nepo-baby madness! It turns out that Bill Gates’ daughter Phoebe Gates is dating Paul McCartney’s grandson, Arthur Donald. The 21-year-old daughter of the billionaire Microsoft founder confirmed her long-speculated romance with 25-year-old Arthur – the son of The Beatles legend’s eldest daughter, Mary McCartney. The couple initially sparked romance rumors in October 2023, when she shared a photo on Instagram of them smiling in front of the Eiffel Tower.

ELVIS PRESLEY’S BLUE SUEDE SHOES SELL AT AUCTION

Elvis Presley’s iconic blue suede shoes were sold at auction Friday for about $120,000. Presley bought the famous footwear soon after the release of his cover of “Blue Suede Shoes” – originally by Carl Perkins – rocketed up the charts in 1956. He wore them throughout the rest of the 1950s, including during a performance on the Steve Allen Show when he sang “Hound Dog” to an actual hound dog.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (June 28-30)

1. Inside Out 2 – $57.4 million
2. A Quiet Place: Day One – $53 million
3. Horizon – $11 million
4. Bad Boys: Ride or Die – $10.3 million
5. The Bikeriders – $3.3 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

July 4, Thursday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Liv Tyler (actress, “9-1-1: Lone Star”) … 47
Thomas Sadoski (actor, “Life in Pieces”) … 48
Pamela Anderson (“actress”, “Baywatch”) … 57
Dan Ackroyd (actor, “Ghostbusters,” original SNL cast) … 72
Fred Schneider (singer with the B-52s, “Love Shack”) … 73
Deborah Harry (singer with Blondie, “Call Me”) … 79
Jamie Farr (actor, “M*A*S*H”) … 90

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I was a drama queen right from a very young age.”

(A) Donald Trump
(B) Kim Jong Un
(C) Pamela Anderson

ANSWER: (C) Pamela Anderson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2000 – Vermont’s civil unions law, which granted gay couples most of the rights, benefits and responsibilities of marriage, went into effect.
* After all, why shouldn’t gay couples be just as miserable as heterosexual couples?

1980 – “O Canada” was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada.
* Well, it’s certainly appropriate.

1966 – The Medicare federal insurance program went into effect.
* The official start of insanely spiraling health care costs.

1963 – The U.S. Post Office introduced five-digit ZIP codes.
* Previously, they just sort of threw the mail in the general direction of North, South, East or West.

1941 – The first TV commercial was shown, an ad for Bulova watches that cost $9.
* Of course, if they’d had a Super Bowl back then, the price could easily have skyrocketed to $15 or $20.

1881 – Clara Barton founded the Red Cross.
* “Nice name, Clara. Now if only you had a recognizable logo to go with it …”

1862 – Congress established the IRS, and it was President Abraham Lincoln who signed the bill into law, officially creating the IRS.
* And you thought he was shot over that slavery thing.

1847 – The first lick-to-glue postage stamps were introduced.
* “You want me to put my tongue WHERE?”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2009 – The week after his death, Michael Jackson became the first act to sell more than 1 million song downloads in a week.

1970 – Jimi Hendrix had his first recording session, in New York City.

1969 – After a car crash in Scotland, John Lennon received 17 facial stitches, and Yoko Ono got 14.

1956 – Elvis Presley sang “Hound Dog” on NBC-TV’s Steve Allen Show while dressed in a tuxedo and singing to a basset hound. The family-friendly show didn’t want him shaking his legendary pelvis.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. About 4% of employees in the U.S. say they never do THIS at work. What is it?
Laugh

2. On average, each week, THIS is said 525 million times in the workplace. What is it?
“Do you have a pen?”

3. More than half of us are regularly late to work because of THIS. What is it?
We can’t find something.

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