FRIDAY, May 24 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 24, 2024
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NOTE: MORNING SIDEKICK WILL BE OFF ON MONDAY, MAY 27 FOR THE U.S. MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY. WE WILL RETURN WITH PREP FOR TUESDAY, MAY 28

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL BROTHERS DAY

NATIONAL ESCARGOT DAY

WORLD SCHIZOPHRENIA DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

NEWS ANCHORS: WHO DO YOU TRUST?

Who are the most trusted news anchors on American television? The Hollywood Reporter did a survey, conducted May 4-5 among a sample of 2,239 U.S. adults, asking opinions about 40-plus major TV news stars. The question was, “How much do you trust this new anchor? The choices were A) a lot or some; B) Not much/not at all; C) Don’t know/no opinion. here are some of the results (we’re omitting the “don’t know/not at all” category. In virtually all cases, that number is smaller than the “not much” number):
– Lester Holt, NBC: 65% a lot or some trust / 16% not much trust or not at all
– David Muir, ABC: 63% / 20%
– Anderson Cooper, CNN: 60% / 25%
– Chris Wallace, CNN: 60% / 23%
– Savannah Guthrie, NBC: 59% / 20%
– George Stephanopoulos, ABC: 57% / 25%
– Jon Stewart, comedian: 57% / 24%
– Stephen Colbert, CBS: 57% / 29%
– Wolf Blitzer, CNN: 55% / 27%
– Ali Veshi, MSNBC: 55% / 22%
– Gayle King, CBS: 53% / 26%
– Norah O’Donnel, CBS: 53% / 25%
– Harris Faulkner, Fox News: 53% / 22% (He is the only Fox News person to score higher than 50%)
– Rachel Maddow, MSNBC: 51% / 33%
– Seth Myers: 49% / 27%
– Dana Perino, Fox News: 49% / 22%
– Sean Hannity, Fox News: 38% / 45%
– Tucker Carlson, Fox News: 38% a lot or some trust / 49% not much trust or not at all
and finally:
– and Al Roker, NBC: 64% trust / 20% not much or not at all
* Al Roker, America’s most trusted guy to tell you if it’s raining.
* I’m most surprised they found 2,239 people who still watch TV.
* They’d also like to apologize to anyone who trusted Matt Lauer.
* When will they be bringing back Walter Cronkite with AI?

THE BUZZ

THE OUTDATED SLANG THAT PEOPLE WANT BACK

Wordtips, a word finder app for people who play Scrabble, calculated and ranked the most upvoted and downvoted classic slang terms on Urban Dictionary. They determined that these are the Most Beloved Slang Words in our language – SLANGuage, if you will – and people want these to come back into fashion:
1. Buzzkill
2. Your mom
3. Homie
4. Whatever
5. Fugly
6. Yoink
7. Fly
8. Jawn
9. The S–t (as in, You are The S-word!)
10. Feel me?
11. Lame
12. Dope
13. Crib
14. Dude
15. Wifey
* Oh, saying “Your Mom” never goes out of style. It’ll always be on top. Just like your mom last night.
* “Jawn”? I must have been out of town the weekend that one came and went.
* My dad called me dope long before it became fashionable.

Here are the Least Popular Slang Words:
Playa, Wicked, Thug, Straight Edge, Monet, Triflin’, Score!, Youngin’, Ice, Trick, Hooch. Bling, Hood, Not!, Gank.
* Hooch is a great word! It’s wicked playa.
* Who doesn’t like Monet? Those water lilies are freakin’ stupendous!
* What’s gank? Gank sounds like the stuff living in the microwave in the breakroom.

U.S. NEWS

MOM FINED FOR ILLEGAL CLAMMING

A California woman, Charlotte Russ, took the family to Pismo Beach, known as the “Clam Capital of the World.” Her five kids spent some time collecting sea shells. Only they were more than seashells – they were live clams. The kids had picked up 72 clams. Someone from the Department of Fish and Wildlife saw what was happening and approached the mother of five and told her that her kids were collecting the clams without a fishing license, and issued her a ticket. She later received a fine in the mail ordering her to pay $88,993. (* Bet she was shell shocked!) After protesting the ticket, a judge knocked her fine down to $500. (* Or 500 clams, to use the vernacular.) “It kind of ruined our trip,” Russ said. “The kids know now at the beach don’t touch anything.”
* That should be the motto of all our national parks and public spaces: “Don’t touch anything.”
* The clam-motto, as it were. (Y’know – Clamato? Hello? Never mind.)
* “A ticket? Can’t you give me a warning?” “Sure. Here’s your warning: PAY THE TICKET!”
* Even if you’re wearing sunscreen, there’s more than one way to get burned at the beach.
* But thank goodness California’s clam supply was saved.

PRIEST BITES PARISHONER

A Florida priest allegedly bit a woman while arguing with her during Communion. Father Fidel Rodriguez of the St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in St. Cloud, Florida, was arrested after an unidentified woman told police she had been assaulted on May 19. The woman told police that Father Fidel would not “give her the cookie” due to her sexuality and attire. In his defense, the priest said that the woman first came to 10am Mass but did not do the prior steps necessary to be given the communion wafer and was denied. She came back later saying that she had in fact done the necessary steps. Father Fidel allegedly became upset with her claims and, according to a witness, tried to ram a “cookie” into her mouth. She backed up and said, “No, don’t do that.” The woman tried to grab another Communion wafer that he was holding, but he grabbed her and bit her arm. Father Fidel claims he was trying to protect the communion wafers as it is considered the the body of Christ in Catholicism. Father Fidel was arrested and charged with battery.
* More like bite-ery.
* He threw himself in front of Cookie Jesus to protect Him.
* Even the Cookie Monster thought this was a little crazy.
* Biting a parishioner. This is what they call in the trade a “What Would Jesus Do?” Fail.
* It’s a communion wafer, not a Pepperidge Farm Nantucket Chocolate Chip. Let her have it.
* By the way, you can buy communion wafers – the body of Christ – at Walmart, 1000 for $13.99

CALIFORNIA WORKING ON BILL REQUIRING CARS TO BEEP WHEN YOU’RE SPEEDING

The California Senate just passed a bill that will require cars to beep, continuously, whenever the driver is going more than 10 mph over the speed limit. The system would use the GPS location of the vehicle and apply it to a database of posted speed limits, to determine the speed limit. The bill, if it passes the state house and is signed by the governor, would require speed limiters on half of new cars by 2029, and all cars by 2032. While the move would not stop someone from driving more than 10 mph over the posted speed limit, adding beeps will at least make doing so much more annoying.
* On the bright side, it will encourage those slow pokes ahead of you to get the heck out of the way.
* Oh, for Pete’s sake – skip the horn and just have the app send you a speeding ticket. Wait – WHAT AM I SAYING???
* Just when you thought the advancement of driving couldn’t get more distracting.
* Remember when technology made things easier? Driving has touch screens that are distracting and impossible to read. You have to plan and search and click to watch a TV show that’s too dark to see and too soft to hear the dialogue. And if you don’t have the right apps on your cell phone forget about getting a seat at the movies.

HELP WANTED: NUDE BOOKSTORE MANAGER

A Craigslist ad posted in San Francisco on Monday in the jobs section is looking to run a store that sells exclusively banned books. The store will be staffed by unclothed employees. The ad specifically seeks a female CEO who is “fit, ambitious, able to manage people and give media interviews, delegate work, and make business deals.” The ad was posted by George Davis, a 78-year-old body freedom activist. He claims to have already gotten permission to open the store in the city’s Union Square shopping district. Davis said that attendees of major San Francisco events like Pride and the Folsom Street Fair don’t have an issue with public nudity. He believes it would be particularly popular with international tourists. Davis says, “We’re talking about an unserved, underserved and wanting-to-be-served market. We’re talking about a clientele that has as much money as anybody else.”
* But where do they carry it?
* When it comes to bookstores, this 78-year-old wants to add a new wrinkle. LOTS of new wrinkles.
* Talk about cracking a book.
* The one question you’ll never have to ask is, “Pardon me, do you work here?”
* Don’t look for detective books. There’ll be no mystery at that store.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

STREET PERFORMER TURF WAR: MARIACHIS VS. FIRE-BREATHER

A confrontation between street performers in Morelia, Mexico, turned into an unexpectedly violent turf war. Security camera footage shows a mariachi band chasing away a man – who performs a firebreathing act – from the popular street corner where the band plays. Then the mariachis start beating up the fire-breather. After the beating, the fire-breather gets up, pretends to walk away, then turns and sprays flaming liquid at the musicians (* so things really heated up). Some threw off their white jackets, which were burning. One mariachi rolls around on the pavement. Another runs off camera, on fire. Police said no one was arrested, and the only person injured was the firebreather who was stabbed by one of the mariachis. He was treated for non-life threatening injuries.
* Never bring a guitarrón to a flame-thrower fight.
* How big was the spray of fire, on a scale of 1 to The Mandalorian?
* Now they can call themselves the hottest mariachi band in Mexico. En fuego!
* They were pretty burned up over it.
* The fire breather needs to come back with a chainsaw-juggling act.
* In Mexico, any fight that doesn’t end with a head by the side of the road is a win.

TRENDING

NHL DOING ITS OWN PUPPY BOWL – “THE STANLEY PUP”

The NHL is starting a new tradition: the Stanley Pup. It’s a one-hour special with puppies dressed in NHL jerseys running around a miniature ice hockey rink. Many of the doggos will also be available for adoption from shelters or rescue groups in their respective cities. The special will feature appearances from famous dog lovers like actor Kristin Chenoweth and musicians Mickey Guyton and Miranda Lambert. The inaugural Stanley Pup will air on June 7 at 8 p.m. EST on NHL Network and ESPN+.

2024 HURRICANE NAMES LIST

Here are the names of this year’s tropical storms and hurricanes, from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration:
Alberto; Beryl; Chris; Debby; Ernesto; Francine; Gordon; Helene; Isaac; Joyce; Kirk; Leslie; Milton; Nadine; Oscar; Patty; Rafael; Sara; Tara; Valerie; William

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

John C. Reilly (actor,”Wreck-it Ralph”) … 59
Kristin Scott Thomas (actress) … 64
Roseanne Cash (singer) … 69
Priscilla Presley (actress, ex-wife of Elvis) … 79
Patti LaBelle (singer) … 80
Gary Burghoff (actor, Radar from M*A*S*H) … 81
Bob Dylan (singer/songwriter) … 83
Tommy Chong (half of Cheech & Chong comedy team, sometimes appeared on “That 70s Show”) … 86

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.”

(A) Bill Clinton
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Bob Dylan

ANSWER: (C) Bob Dylan

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2016 – Bill Cosby was ordered to stand trial in a sexual assault case. Cosby’s first trial in June 2017 ended in a mistrial. At retrial on April 26, Cosby was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault.
* And we thought only his sweaters were offensive.

1995 – “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss was sentenced to three years in prison and fined $1,500 for running a call girl ring that catered to the rich and famous.
* You’re rich and famous and you can’t get your own girls? That’s PATHETIC!

1947 – The first commercial computer company was formed, by J. Presper Eckert and John W. Mauchly.
* Which was a big hit, judging by how many people today are using Eckert-Mauchly computers.

1935 – The first major-league baseball game played at night took place at Cincinnati’s Crosley Field as the Reds beat the Philadelphia Phillies 2-1.
* “Sorry coach, the … uh … the MOON was in my eyes! Yeah, that’s it.”

1921 – The first loaf of “Wonder Bread” was made.
* Yeah, and I think my sandwich yesterday from the radio station cafeteria was made with it.

1899 – The first auto repair shop opened, in Boston.
* “Can you help me? My car’s making a funny noise.” “Mister, it’s 1899. ALL cars make funny noises!”

1844 – Samuel F.B. Morse sent the first Morse Code telegraph message from Washington, D.C. to Baltimore, MD.
* Back then, using a series of dots and dashes, it took over five days to download a single dirty picture.

1830 – “Mary Had A Little Lamb” was written.
* “Hey, I could play this on a touch-tone phone. If … there was such a thing.”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2022 – Aerosmith canceled planned Las Vegas concerts in June and July when singer Steven Tyler returned to drug rehab

2009 – Billy Joel was being sued by his former drummer for hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid royalties. Liberty Devitto claimed that Joel hadn’t paid him proper royalties for 10 years of his work. The case was eventually settled – “amicably resolved,” said Joel’s legal team.

2003 – Paul McCartney made his first ever live performance in Russia when he appeared in front of 20,000 fans in Red Square.

2000 – A New York Judge told Pretenders singer Chrissie Hynde that if she wanted her March arrest for protesting the sale of leather goods in a Gap store dismissed, she’d better keep her nose clean for the next six months.

1997 – Hanson started a three week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “MMMBop,” the brothers’ first U.S. No.1.

1997 – The Spice Girls went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Spice,” making them only the third all-girl group to do so after The Supremes and The Go-Go’s.

1994 – Bret Michaels of the rock band Poison was involved in a car crash in which he broke his nose, sternum, thumb, collarbone and upper jaw, and also lost four teeth.

1986 – Country singer Garth Brooks married Sandy Mahl. The couple divorced in 2000.

1980 – Genesis fans turning up at the Roxy Club box office in Los Angeles to buy tickets for an upcoming gig were surprised to find the band members Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford selling the tickets themselves.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A new survey found 14% of us are driving a car with THIS problem. What is it?
A cracked windshield

2. 3/4 of drivers will have THIS happen to them today. What is it?
Someone will tailgate them

3. We’ve found all kinds of things under the seats of our cars. 4% of us have found THIS. What is it?
Fruit

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