THURSDAY, Feb 22 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, February 22, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE BELCHER; BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BE HUMBLE DAY
The Days of the Year website says this:
“Humility may be the most difficult of all the virtues to truly attain. There seems to be a paradox in that claiming to have humility may be an act of pride. Some people might be prideful in their humility… or something like that. Either way, Be Humble Day focuses on humbling yourself. There is no boasting allowed on Be Humble Day. Choosing not to brag about your successes and abilities can prove to be much more difficult than one might anticipate, as the culture surrounding us is often centered on self and the successes achieved by an individual. Throughout the ages philosophers and the average Joe alike have pondered humility and what it means to be truly humble. It is a difficult question to answer and the final answer may never fully present itself. But perhaps the seeking of humility is more important than the achieving.”

FOUNDER’S DAY – World Organization of the Scout Movement
The Scout website says this:
“On 22 February every year, millions of Scouts around the world gather at local, national and international levels to celebrate Founder’s Day. It is the birthday of Lord Baden-Powell (1857-1941), the pioneer of Scouting.”

NATIONAL MARGARITA DAY

WALKING THE DOG DAY

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, Feb 22

“Avatar: The Last Airbender”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Live-action adaptation of the beloved animated series.

Season Premiere:
Bravo – “Summer House”

FRIDAY, Feb 23

“The Second Best Hospital in the Galaxy”
Prime Video – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Follows Dr. Sleech and Dr. Klak – aliens, best friends, and intergalactically renowned surgeons – as they tackle anxiety-eating parasites, illegal time loops, and deep-space STIs.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Formula 1: Drive to Survive”

SUNDAY, Feb 25

“The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live”
AMC – Yet Another Walking Dead Spin-off
Synopsis: Depicts Rick Grimes and Michonne navigating new challenges in their love story amidst a world transformed by unexpected events. Separated and facing daunting obstacles, they strive to reunite and rediscover themselves.

GARTH BROOKS INVITES TRAVIS KELCE TO SING AT HIS NEW BAR

Garth Brooks was so impressed with (the publicity and marketing potential generated by) Travis Kelce’s attempt at singing “Friends in Low Places” at the Kansas City Super Bowl victory parade, he’s made an offer. Brooks is opening another of his Friends in Low Places Bar & Honky-Tonk in Nashville on March 7. Brooks said he wasn’t planning on attending his bar’s upcoming grand opening (* Why should he bother, really?) but now he tells Kelce he’ll be there if Kelce comes. What’s more, Garth says, “I’ll send a plane if you want and come. You can come by yourself or bring your brother or your gang, whatever you want to do. The plane holds 11, just remember that. So, yes, I’ll be happy to send this invite out to you if you want to try a little ‘Friends in Low Places’ in Friends in Low Places.”
* “And did I mention the bar is called ‘Friends in Low Places’?”
* It’s always nice to lend a hand to someone struggling to make it in the business.
* Boy, if there’s a better example of simultaneously flaunting your wealth and polluting the skies unnecessarily, I’d like to see it.
* Ouch! Get ready for the cover charge to triple.
* Bring your “gang.” Right. We know who Garth really wants at that opening, and it rhymes with Shmaylor Shmift.
* I haven’t seen celebrity overexposure this intense since Madonna came out with her Sex book.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Danish Man Sticks 68 Matches Up His Nose For A World Record”
2. “Why Does Sugar-Free Gum And Candy Give People Bad Gas?”
3. “Woman Has Spent Months Sharing Her Toilet With A Wild Frog Named Stanley”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Making ‘Granny Panties’ Sexy Again — Just In Time For Valentine’s Day”

LAB-GROWN TESTICLES

Scientists have successfully grown working “testicles in a dish” that could one day help solve male infertility. Researchers at Bar-Ilan University in Israel produced tiny organoids – artificial miniature organs – that closely mimic the structure and function of natural testicles. Research shows one in eight couples encounter problems when trying to conceive a child, and in around half of cases the issues lie with the male partner having a low sperm count or poor sperm quality. Growing artificial testicles offers a unique window into understanding and potentially treating these disorders.
* ‘Cause 140 million new people on earth every year isn’t enough.
* The artificial testicles “closely mimic” real testicles, and hopefully the babies will closely mimic real humans.
* Finally, a cure for certain members of Congress.
* Should we be concerned that the research is sponsored by Planter’s Nuts?
* It’s interesting that the research is being done at an Israeli university and not, say, Ball State in Indiana.

MAXIMUM LIFE SPAN: 117

Some scientists say they have figured out the maximum age a human can live to. Statisticians at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, Netherlands, looked at the age at which 75,000 people in the Netherlands died in the 30 years up to 2017. From that, they figured that it would be unlikely for a human to live beyond 115. Also, they say women have a slightly longer lifespan than men: 115.7 years for women, 114.1 years for men. (* One full extra year to not have that idiot husband hanging around the house all day, ladies!) The oldest man ever verified was a Japanese man named Jiroemon Kimura, who lived to be 116 years old. And last year, French nun Sister André passed away at 118.
* Not so much ‘passed away’ as ‘blew away in a strong wind.’
* I’m going for the record. Get me a can of Red Bull.
* That’s a lotta years. See how smart we are for not letting anyone have more than two terms as president?
* Meanwhile, Putin’s gonna keep killing his enemies and running Russia forever.
* I wonder how many of those statisticians are thinking, “Oh, my god, I’ve got another 90 years of being a statistician!”

U.S. NEWS

DOCTORS PULL 150 PARASITES FROM FLORIDA MAN’S NOSE

A Florida man showed up at HCA Florida Memorial Hospital after experiencing severe pain and nose bleeds. The on-call ENT took a look and found dozens of living, squirming parasitic larva living in the man’s sinuses. The doctor removed over 150 of them, saying some of the larger ones were as big as the end of his pinky. It had gotten so bad that the larvae had burrowed into other tissues inside his head, against his skull base, right under the brain. The patient said he had a compromised immune system after getting a tumor removed 30 years ago, which possibly contributed to the infestation. Typically, the body’s immune system keeps parasites from attaching themselves to you. The man was an avid fisherman. It was believed he picked up the parasites from handling a dead fish.
* Say it… SAY IT: Handling a dead fish AND THEN PICKING HIS NOSE!
* Sounds like they’ve been having some tasty fish dinners at HIS house.
* “Honey, are boogers supposed to wiggle around like this?”
* “I don’t know. Are CAPERS supposed to wiggle around like this?”
* 150 little wriggling larva up a fisherman’s nose. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? BAIT!

7-ELEVEN ICE CREAM THEFT

Police on Long Island are searching for three suspects who allegedly stole more than $600 worth of ice cream from a 7-Eleven. They say the trio entered the convenience store on February 12, specifically sought out cartons of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, and stole a total of $640 worth.
* Which, at 7-Eleven prices, would be one container for each of the three.
* Not exactly a smash-and-grab at a Park Avenue jewelry store, but I guess you have to start somewhere.
* If it happened on February 12, the ice cream case must be pretty cold by now.
* Let me tell you, the store owner was NOT in good humor.
* Police are hoping to catch the thieves and take a bite out of crime. Or at least a delicious spoonful.
* Not a house fire, not a shooting, not embezzlement or city council corruption. Ice cream theft is what makes the news on Long Island.

BOOK NOW FOR RYAN-FEST ’24

Last year, the city of Kyle, Texas, made an attempt at a record with its Gathering of Kyles – trying to get as many people named Kyle together in one place – but attendance fell short of the goal. Now, someone else is trying to do it with Ryans. The Ryan Rodeo is scheduled for this Saturday, February 24, at a bar called Buck Wild on Sixth Street. in Austin, Texas. Each participant will be required to show official identification to prove his or her name is Ryan. According to organizers, if your name is Bryan, stay away, they don’t want you. The Ryan Rodeo will feature music by local artist Ryan Hunter and a bull-riding competition.
* The bull riding is in case there are too many Ryans and they need to thin out the crowd.
* I bet you Ryan Goslin is hearing this right now and thinking… “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
* Although I can see Ryan Reynolds getting a chuckle out of it. He’s such an easy-going guy.
* But how is Ryan Seacrest not involved? He’s got his fingers in everything.
* Why Austin? There are cities named Ryan in California, Iowa, Minnesota, Illinois, Oklahoma, Washington, West Virginia. Wyoming, and Pennsylvania. Ryans aren’t very good at doing research, I guess.
* Hope it don’t ray-an.

OZEMPIC CAUSING PEOPLE TO VOMIT DURING WORKOUTS

Fewer Americans are hitting the gym in 2024. Some physical trainers are blaming the diet drug Ozempic, and not just because it helps people lose weight quickly. They say Ozempic is making people sick when they work out. Personal trainer Salim Javed told the New York Post, “I’ve seen a handful of new and experienced clients throw up while taking the drugs because of the dizziness and nausea the drugs can induce.”
* So it’s the drug, and not the the weight machine full of the previous guy’s sweat?
* To be honest, just the thought of exercising makes me nauseous.
* So … so far, we’ve heard that Ozempic makes people dream about celebrities, makes them poop the bed while they’re sleeping, and now, throw up. It’s like the Boeing airliner of weight loss drugs. You never know what the next headline will be.
* One way or another, Ozempic works as advertised.
* PHONE TOPIC: Are you on Ozempic, and does it cause you to get nauseous during a workout?

BOEING FINDS SOMEONE TO BLAME

Boeing, makers of what they now refer to optimistically as “air”-planes, has dismissed executive Ed Clark, the head of its 737 Max passenger jet program. The 737 Max has been a source of repeated problems over the last five years, starting with two crashes that killed a total of 346 people because the software kept putting the plane into a nosedive. More recently, a door plug on an Alaska Airlines jet blew out midiar because it was missing bolts. While Boeing’s CEO assumed responsibility for the incident, heads have now started rolling. Mr. Clark, who had been at Boeing for 18 years, had been in charge of the Max program since March of 2021, after those two crashes. However, he had previously held roles related to the production of 737 Max, including chief engineer and chief 737 mechanic.
* And what fine work he did at THOSE jobs, huh?
* Sounds like this guy’s a victim of failing upward. Unlike Boeing planes, which fail downward.
* In case you’re worried about him, I’m sure he has a nice golden parachute as part of his exit package. Unlike all the passengers on Boeing aircraft.
* By the way, please help Boeing get away with this public relations move. Don’t tell anyone the 737 Max fuselages are actually made by Boeing supplier Spirit AeroSystems in Wichita, Kansas. Boeing would really appreciate it.
* To feel safer, take a boat to Europe and then fly to your destination on an Airbus.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

KING CHARLES TO START APPEARING ON 10-POUND NOTES JUNE 5

British currency features portraits of whoever is king or queen. The King Charles 10-pound note is coming soon. Banknotes carrying a portrait of the King will be issued for the first time on June 5 2024. Eventually he will appear on the £5, £10, £20 and £50.
* But the 10-pound first, ’cause that’s how much his ears weigh. Oh, you thought we weren’t making big ears jokes anymore?
* Do they get to pick the picture, like the Young Elvis vs Old Elvis postage stamp?
* Once the 10-pound notes start appearing, y’all over there can just toss those old Queen Elizabeth bills away.
* Of course, it’s kind of a race now to see if they can get them out in circulation before… you know.
* There is no truth to the rumor that Prince William has been posing for fresh pictures at the JC Penny Portraits department. Although the British mint has asked him to send along a recent Christmas family photo.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Drew Barrymore (actress, talk show host) … 49
James Blunt (singer/songriter) … 50
Thomas Jane (actor, “The Expanse”) … 55
Jeri Ryan (actress) … 56
Kyle MacLachlan (actor) … 65

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I can’t imagine anyone being intimidated by me. I’m the most approachable person.”

(A) Vladimir Putin
(B) Simon Cowell
(C) Drew Barrymore

ANSWER: (C) Drew Barrymore

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2018 – According to new research published in “Science,” Neanderthals – not humans – were the first artists on Earth, producing red cave paintings 65,000 years ago in Spain.
* Us Homo Sapiens got so annoyed at their showing off that we killed ’em all.

2006 – At least six men staged Britain’s biggest robbery ever, stealing about $92.5 million from a Securitas depot in Tonbridge, Kent. Several participants were identified and jailed, but Kayenide “Kane” Patterson – whom the police believe to be a key player – still remains missing presumably residing in the West Indies with a large quantity of the stolen money.
* Who said there are no heroes anymore?

1997 – Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep was successfully cloned. The first cloned sheep, “Dolly,” had been born the previous July.
* When asked why they chose Dolly’s original to clone, the scientists said she was “the pretty one.”

1923 – The first successful chinchilla farm in the U.S. opened in Los Angeles, California.
* The hard part was teaching them how to drive the little tractors.

1630 – The Indian Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner.
* “Gee, this popcorn is great! Now if only somebody would invent movies!”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2003 – Sir Paul McCartney played a private show in San Diego for the 50th birthday of Wendy Whitworth, the executive producer of CNN’s Larry King Show. Sir Paul donated his $1 million fee to the Adopt-a-Minefield charity.

2000 – The engagement ring Sex Pistol Sid Vicious gave to his girlfriend Nancy Spungen went on sale for auction at $2,550. Also on sale was a pair of John Lennon’s jeans for $3,825.

1998 – Tori Amos married sound engineer Mark Hawley.

1997 – Jennifer Lopez married Ojani Noa. They separated a year later.

1997 – The Spice Girls started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Wannabe.”

1987 – Andy Warhol, pop artist and producer, died after a gall bladder operation. The founder of the Pop Art movement (Campbell’s Soup can art) produced and managed The Velvet Underground, designed the 1967 Velvet Underground And Nico “peeled banana” album cover and The Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers” album cover.

1986 – MTV dedicated a full 22 hours to The Monkees, showing all 45 episodes of the original Monkees TV series.

1980 – Music manager Malcolm McLaren fired Adam Ant from the original Adam and the Ants. The remaining members became the group Bow Wow Wow, while Adam simply found a new set of Ants and had a succession of huge hits.

1978 – The Police appeared in a Wrigley’s Chewing Gum commercial. The band members dyed their hair blonde for the appearance.

1968 – Genesis released their first single, “The Silent Sun.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, THIS is the #1 thing people worry about on a first date. What is it?
Running into an ex

2. In a recent survey, single women said THIS is the worst activity for a guy to take them to on a first date. What is it?
Mini golf

3. A recent survey found that if you’re hoping a first date will lead to a relationship, THIS is the worst food to eat on your date. What is it?
Pancakes

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111