THURSDAY, Feb 15 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, February 15, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL GUMDROP DAY

NATIONAL HIPPO DAY

REMEMBER THE MAINE DAY
Wikipedia says this:
“The USS Maine, sent to protect U.S. interests during the Cuban revolt against Spain, exploded in Havana Harbor on February 15, 1898. The phrase, ‘Remember the Maine, to Hell with Spain,’ became a rallying cry for action, which came with the Spanish–American War later that year. While the sinking of the Maine was not a direct cause for action, it served as a catalyst, accelerating the approach to a diplomatic impasse between the U.S. and Spain. Today it is widely thought the explosion was the result of an internal coal fire which ignited gunpowder magazines, and not a Spanish mine in the harbor.”

SUSAN B. ANTHONY DAY
The Time And Date website says this:
“Celebrated on February 15, Susan B. Anthony Day marks the birthday of one of the United States’ most prominent female civil rights leaders. It is a legal observance in some states.”

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, Feb 15

“The Truth About Jim”
Max – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Amateur investigator Sierra Barter is shocked to discover painful family secrets while searching for answers to the question that has plagued her family for generations: was her step-grandfather, Jim Mordecai, a serial killer?

“The Vince Staples Show”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Follows the rapper and singer on a wild ride through his daily adventures.

Season Premieres:
CBS – “Ghosts,” “So Help Me Todd,” “Young Sheldon”

FRIDAY, Feb 16

“The Dynasty: The New England Patriots”
Apple TV+ – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Chronicles the team’s unprecedented 20-year reign atop the NFL.

“This Is Me… Now: A Love Story”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: Jennifer Lopez stars in a highly visual and musical reimagining of her publicly scrutinized love life.

Season Premieres:
CBS – “Blue Bloods,” “Fire Country,” “S.W.A.T.”
Hulu – “Life & Beth”

SUNDAY, Feb 18

Season Premieres:
ABC – “American Idol”
CBS – “CSI: Vegas,” “The Equalizer”
HBO and Max: “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver”

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “I Met My Husband While Dumpster Diving – Now We’re Expecting A Baby”
2. “I’m The Only Person To Run A Marathon On Every Continent Dressed As Fruit”
3. “Lonely On Valentine’s Day? Listen To This 95-Year-Old Sex Expert’s Tips.”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “How A Man’s Hiccups Were Cured By Digital Rectal Massage”

SCIENCE: HAVING ATTRACTIVE PARENTS WILL BRING YOU MORE MONEY

The National Bureau of Economic Research says that having hotter-than-average parents will earn you more money. Researchers looked at four data sets from the US and China, in which people were shown pictures or videos of parents and their kids and asked to rate their attractiveness. They first found that hotter-than-average parents tend to have hotter-than-average kids. They then cross-referenced this with household income data to put a price tag on it. Having attractive parents amounts to over $2,300 per year, or an extra $106,000 of income over an average working life. The study notes that there are two benefits to having these good-looking genes:
– First, the “direct” benefit: You will likely be more attractive yourself and that enables you to earn more.
– Second, your attractive parents are likely to have earned more money due to their attractiveness — and thus have more money to pass on to you.
* If this is true, then Jeff Bezos’ parents are David Beckham and Posh Spice, cuz that man is UGLY.
* So my kid will be more financially successful if I stop cutting my own hair?
* It’s not all great. Attractive people may end up with more money, but they also get more STDs.
* Any research on ugly people getting more attractive the more money they have?
[Note: you can play these jokes a number of ways… pick on your own mom, your partner’s mom, your mother-in-law… just hope that they have a sense of humor!]
* I get my looks from my mother… Well, let’s just say she wasn’t “comfortable” with her looks. I’m not saying my mother was unattractive, but she once went to an ugly contest and they said, “No professionals!”
– She was so ugly, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
– She was so ugly, she had to go trick-or-treating over the phone.
– When she took me to the zoo, they’d tell me, “Thanks for bringing her back.”
– She’s so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application.
– She’s so ugly when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
– She went into the woods and Bigfoot started taking pictures of HER.
– They filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower.
– She once drove up to a Stop sign, and it said Go.
– She’s so ugly, she once made Stevie Wonder flinch.
– She’s so ugly, every day dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t.

STUDY: APES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR LIKE HUMANS

A new study suggests that apes possess a sense of humor just like humans. An international team has discovered that four species of great apes — orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos, and gorillas — all engage in playful teasing with one another. This behavior mirrors human joking, incorporating elements of surprise and play. The findings indicate that the foundational elements of humor may have evolved in the human lineage at least 13 million years ago. Isabelle Laumer, a post-doctoral researcher and the first author of the study, says, “Great apes are excellent candidates for playful teasing, as they are closely related to us, engage in social play, show laughter and display relatively sophisticated understandings of others’ expectations.”
* It’s obvious that humor evolved from apes. This explains Adam Sandler movies.
* Apes love jokes. Their favorite is, “A man walks into a monkey bar. Ouch, he says.” Cracks them up.
* The weird part? They don’t find it particularly fun to pile into a barrel until it’s full.
* Also, limericks don’t even raise a smile out of them.
* Monkey joke: What do you call a monkey with a firecracker? Ba-boom.
* Another one, an intellectual monkey joke: Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey says, “Hey – what rhymes with banana?” The other monkey says, “No it doesn’t.”

U.S. NEWS

WALGREENS MANAGER OVERSEES SIX ROBBERIES IN SIX MONTHS

In Washington, D.C., three men are facing charges for repeatedly robbing a Walgreens – six times in six months. One of the men is the store’s manager. Police say in every robbery 24-year-old Kamanye Williams entered the Walgreen storeroom and waited for an employee to open a secure door. That employee was the store manager. Williams would point a gun and demand money from the safe. Upon getting the cash, he would run away. Williams did this once a month for six months. But during a seventh attempted armed robbery on Feb. 11, Williams was shot by a private security guard. He was taken to an area hospital with non-life-threatening injuries and subsequently arrested. Meanwhile, police connected the armed robberies to the store’s manager, 33-year-old Michael Robinson, and his 26-year-old nephew. They have both been arrested as well.
* Quick, efficient… guy knows how to manage a robbery.
* Once a month? “Stick ’em up!” “Gosh, is it the 11th again already?”
* Well, if you’re gonna get shot, it might as well be in a store full of antiseptics and bandages.
* And speaking of regular robberies, Walgreens has just what you need to keep yourself regular: laxatives, Aisle 3.

MAN WINS $1 MILLION LOTTERY THREE DAYS AFTER BREAKUP

An Illinois man won a $1 million lottery jackpot just three days after breaking up with his girlfriend. The unnamed Chicago-area man told Illinois Lottery officials he was headed for a disappointing Valentine’s Day because he broke up with his girlfriend three days before he bought the winning ticket. Said the winner, in a perfectly ordinary statement because this is the way people talk naturally: “You can say I haven’t had much luck in the love department but that’s alright, because now I really hit the jackpot!”
* And because he broke up before Valentine’s Day, he’s also a couple hundred bucks ahead in addition to the million.
* He’s about to have better luck in the love department. Or something so close it doesn’t matter.
* Sometimes moving on isn’t as hard as you thought it was going to be.
* “Roses are red, violets are blue, I won a million bucks, who needs you?”

INVENTOR OF THE POP-TART DIES

William Post, the man who created Pop-Tarts, died on Saturday. He was 96. Here’s his path to greatness: At the age of 16, in 1944, Post got a part-time job washing trucks at Hekman Biscuit Company — what would eventually become the Keebler Company. Five years later he rose to the position of personnel manager, and eventually became the plant manager. One day in 1964, executives from Kellogg’s came to the company asking it to develop a product they had in mind. Post guided the project through development, and it became the Pop-Tart. When asked about his invention during his lifetime he always said the credit was shared. (* “Oh, no, you’re not pinning this on me.”) On a side note, Post’s story has become a Netflix film that is scheduled to be released in May. The movie “Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story” is written and directed by Jerry Seinfeld, who is starring in it alongside a host of big-name comedians. It’s mostly fictional.
* How nice of him to give the movie a publicity boost this way.
* So the inventor of the Pop-Tart is toast.
* He was considered a giant in the empty calorie movement of the 1960’s.
* I want to know which guy on the Pop-Tart team is responsible for keeping the frosting from reaching all the way to the edges, making them inedible.
* Then one day someone accidentally filled the jelly injector with pepperoni and tomato sauce, and the Hot Pocket was born.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAGGOTS FALL ON PLANE PASSENGERS

It was raining maggots on a recent Delta flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. (* Let’s see Boeing top that!) Somebody had brought a carry-on onto the plane that contained rotting fish. At some point, the bag broke open and spilled maggots onto unsuspecting passengers. Once the maggots were discovered – and the screaming died down – the plane returned to Amsterdam, where the passengers were offboarded, and the owner of the bag taken aside. Delta gave passengers 8,000 SkyMiles, hotel rooms and a $30 meal voucher.
* Might as well have been a $100 meal voucher. Who can eat after that?
* The owner of the bag was taken aside and what? Made to eat the maggots?
* Fly the friendly skies. Or, flies IN the friendly skies, if you will.
* “How was your Delta flight?” “Pretty rotten.”
* I bet Jet Blue has a lower maggot drop extra charge than Delta.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Alex Borstein (actress, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” Lois Griffin on “Family Guy”) … 53
Mikey Craig (bass guitarist in Culture Club) … 64
Ali Campbell (singer with UB40) … 65
Matt Groening (creator of “The Simpsons”) … 70
Jane Seymour (actress) … 73
Mick Avory (drummer with The Kinks) … 80

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.”

(A) Dr. Phil
(B) Chelsea Clinton
(C) Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons

ANSWER: (C) Matt Groening

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2013 – Over 1,200 people were injured when a meteor broke up over Chelyabinsk, Russia.
* That makes it an even worse breakup than Brad and Angelina.

2008 – Business tycoon Steve Fossett, 63, was declared dead five months after his small plane vanished over California’s Sierra Nevada mountains. (His remains were discovered later in the year.) In 1995 he became the first solo pilot to cross the Pacific Ocean via balloon, and in 2002 he became the first person to fly a balloon solo around the world.
* So … should have stuck with balloons.

1995 – The FBI arrested its “most wanted hacker,” Kevin Mitnick, charging him with cracking security in some of the nation’s most protected computers.
* “Mitnick, if you want digital porn from the OnlyFans website, you’ve got to pay for it like everybody else!”

1973 – The USSR launched Prognoz 3 to study the sun.
* Their conclusion: It’s hot – damn hot.

1931 – Dracula appeared in a film for the first time.
* Unlike it’s star, the movie didn’t suck, so its big bite at the box office gave the other movies a pain in the neck. Fang you very much.

1903 – The first teddy bears went on sale in America.
* These days, if our kids need comforting, they see an analyst.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2013 – Chubby Checker launched a $500,000 lawsuit against Hewlett-Packard for including an app on its phones and tablets that was not only named after the 71-year-old musician, but measured a man’s manhood based on his shoe size. HP settled for undisclosed terms.

2008 – An apartment once rented by the Beatles in London went up for sale for $2.7 million. The band shared the three-bedroom top floor property in Green Street, Mayfair in the autumn of 1963. A publicity photo of the Fab Four peering over a banister was taken at the top of the property’s communal stairwell.

1991 – Kelly Emberg the ex-girlfriend of Rod Stewart filed a $25 million palimony suit in Los Angeles. The couple lived together from 1985 to 1990. Rod Stewart later said: “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

1986 – Whitney Houston started a two week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “How Will I Know.”

1975 – Linda Ronstadt went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “You’re No Good,” the singer’s only solo chart topper out of 12 other top 40 hits. Also today Ronstadt went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Heart Like A Wheel.”

1969 – Singer Vickie Jones was arrested on fraud charges for impersonating Aretha Franklin in concert at Fort Myers, Florida. No one in the audience asked for their money back.

1968 – John and Cynthia Lennon, along with George and Patti Harrison, flew to India to study meditation with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Paul and Ringo joined them a few days later, but Ringo became bored and left on March 1st. Much of the Beatles’ “White Album” was written during their stay.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In a survey of motorists, THIS was named the most annoying thing a passenger can do while you’re driving. What is it?
Adjusting the volume on the car stereo

2. According to statistics, 40% of car thefts have THIS in common. What is it?
The keys were left in the ignition

3. The average automobile will do THIS for 95% of its life. What is it?
Nothing – it sits parked

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111