TUESDAY, Jan 2 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, January 2, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: JOLTRON WEIGHT LOSS SYSTEMS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL BUFFET DAY

NATIONAL CREAM PUFF DAY

NATIONAL RUN IT UP THE FLAGPOLE AND SEE IF ANYONE SALUTES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“‘Run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes’ is an expression. It means to float an idea to see what people think, or if they notice. The term is commonly used in advertising and print media. Run it Up the Flagpole to See if Anyone Salutes Day is set aside to allow people to do just that. Be creative today. Use this day to try and test new ideas and concepts. Don’t limit the ideas to business applications. In your personal life, try out a new dress or clothing style, perhaps a different haircut. Or, maybe buy a new houseflag and run it up the flagpole to see if anyone salutes…or even notices.”

NATIONAL SCIENCE FICTION DAY

January is:

Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
Be Kind to Food Servers Month
Family Fit Lifestyle Month
Financial Wellness Month
Get Organized Month
National Candy Month
National Clean Up Your Computer Month
National Hobby Month
National Skating Month
National Train Your Dog Month
Walk Your Pet Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

SNOOP DOGG TO BE OLYMPIC COMMENTATOR

Snoop Dogg is joining NBC’s coverage of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 this summer, providing reports for the Olympic Primetime Show. Throughout the Games, Snoop will provide the audience with his unique take on the city’s iconic landmarks, attend Olympic competitions and events, and visit with the athletes, their friends, and families.
* And dealers.
* Snoop will be covering all the big Olympic events: The 420 Dash; CBDMX Bike Racing; Bongwater Canoeing; Weedlifting; Taekwondope; Rhythmic Gymhashtics; and, of course, the I’m Really High Jump.
* Just remember, Snoop, it’s Beach Volleyball, not Bitch Volleyball.
* I’m sure he’ll be filing reports from the Champs Elyhaze and the Palace of Vershigh.
* But watch out for the Narc de Triomphe.
* Sure, Snoop’s turned into a bigger media whore than Peyton Manning, but you gotta give ‘im credit – at least he didn’t offer to host the Golden Globes.
* I guess it’ll be fun, but everybody knows the rapper who’s up on everything Olympics is Young Thug.

IAN ZIERING IN L.A. BIKER BRAWL

“Sharknado” actor Ian Ziering got into a street brawl with a Los Angeles biker gang on New Year’s Eve. Ziering was driving down Hollywood Boulevard when he was filmed getting out of his car and fighting with a group of motorcyclists. The actor first punched at one of the bikers in front of his car, pushing him down on the ground. A dozen of the other bikers swarmed around him and punched him for a few seconds before Ziering tried to escape by running across the busy street. After more punches, he managed to escape on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It’s unclear exactly what caused the altercation, but TMZ reported that one of the bikers appeared to clip Ziering’s car.
* And hey, when that happens, the best thing to do is get out of your car and try to teach the gang of bikers a lesson.
* What must it be like to be known as “Snarknado actor Ian Ziering”??
* Beverly Hills 9021-Ouch.
* And isn’t it nice to see people who can settle their difference without bringing lawyers into it?

THE BUZZ

MY “15-SECONDS OF FAME” MOMENT

Reddit asked, What’s your “15 seconds of fame” moment?” Some of the responses:
– “I ran with the Olympic torch when I was 10 years old.”
– “2-day Jeopardy champion. One of the best experiences of my life.”
– “I found a picture of myself on People of Walmart website.”
– “When I was 10, I got hit by a car. Dented the fender with my knee, broke the windshield with my back, but didn’t get hurt. Local paper wrote about it with the title “boy hits car, car damaged.” Someone sent it to the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and he talked about me and showed the newspaper clipping with my picture.”
– “I bought the winning ticket for my work lottery group. $10,000,000.”
– “I was one of those girls that cried after getting sent home on night one of the bachelor. That was 10 years ago and I still can’t believe it.”
– “My dog was in the Latin-American soap opera, ¿Donde Esta Elisa? – he was even in the opening credits.”
– “I was the victim of a popular prank video on TikTok that went viral. It’s completely ruined my social life”
– “Cramming a hotdog in my mouth while a famous golf shot was made in a Major. It is a rerun in a lot of sports highlight reels.”
* PHONE TOPIC: See? Everyone has a 15-Seconds of Fame moment. What’s yours?

PSYCHIC PREDICTIONS FOR 2024

It’s 2024, and there are still people calling themselves psychics making predictions for the year. But these all seem a little safer than usual.
Athos Salomé from Brazil predicts:
– 2024 will see humans finally make contact with aliens. Humans and aliens will communicate through “encrypted signals intercepted by a network of telescopes.”
– An “asteroid abundant with rich materials” is hurtling for earth but will land safely this year. (* Land safely. I honestly didn’t know asteroids could do that.)
– There will be three major flashpoints of conflict in the Middle East and Africa – South Sudan, Somalia and Yemen. The US will be focused on battling fire and water. Hurricanes will bring deadly floods near the Gulf of Mexico. California, Oregon and Washington could suffer from further forest fires. (* Hmm. Never trust psychics who use words like “could” or “might” or “maybe.”)
London-based psychic Nicolas Aujula:
– The Royal Family will have another stressful year ahead. (* What are the odds?)
– Meghan Markle could be set for “heartache” in 2024.
Celebrity psychic John Cohan:
– Meghan Markle tries to get back into show business but bombs.
– Trevor Noah tries his hand at acting and becomes a huge success.
– Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston find their way back to one another.
– Kevin Costner finds love with someone half his age.
– Marlo Thomas and husband Phil Donahue get a TV special. (* My prediction: All of America will go, “Who?”)
Los Angeles psychic Judy Hevenly. (Yes, Hevenly):
– President Joe Biden will have a difficult path ahead the first quarter of 2024.
– The economy and stock market may face challenges at the beginning of the year
– Brad Pitt and Ines de Ramon talk marriage. (* Which will be a surprise to Jennifer Aniston.)
– Sad Goodbyes to Toby Keith, Michael J Fox, Ozzie Osborne, Bruce Willis, Shannon Daughty, Clint Eastwood, Liza Minelli, Jimmy Carter, Maggie Smith, and a foreign leader.
* Boy, these guys are good. And obviously they all read the newspaper and watch TV.

U.S. NEWS

DRIVEWAY STOLEN

In Orange County, Florida, Amanda Brochu had her entire driveway stolen. Brochu put her home up for sale in early December. Soon afterwards, several people identifying themselves as contractors stopped by the home to measure the concrete slab driveway. She doesn’t know why they came. One told her he was hired by a man named Andre to do an estimate. She called Andre, and Andre told her it was a mistake with the address. But the following week, Brochu’s entire concrete driveway went missing. She has a replacement estimate of $10,000 – which she doesn’t have – and is ready to move into her next house as soon as she sells this one…as soon as it gets a driveway.
* I bet Andre could sell her one – some assembly required.
* Why does this woman need a house if she’s never home long enough to notice someone stealing her driveway?
* And I thought porch pirates had a lot of nerve.
* Yeah, some crooks start out stealing driveways. Next thing you know, they’ve worked their way up to highway robbery.

APARTMENT RESIDENT THROWS COCKROACHES AT BUILDING WORKER

New York police say an angry Upper West Side resident threw a box full of cockroaches at a building worker last Thursday. The building – 37 West 72nd St. – has 41 violations dating back to 2019, including reports of mold, mice and lead-based paint hazards. There have been another 45 complaints of roaches in the public hall and inside at least three apartment units. It wasn’t clear if the roaches were gathered from the building or if they were sourced elsewhere.
* Why waste your money on someone else’s cockroaches when there are perfectly good ones in your kitchen?
* That’s one way to put a bug in the owner’s ear about the roach problem.
* Isn’t Box of Roaches a Grateful Dead tribute band?
* Coulda been worse. Coulda been a barrel full of monkeys.
* Not quite following the logic. “I’m sick and tired of all the roaches – so here’s another box full!”
* Wait’ll we hear what they do with the rats.

FLORIDA WOMAN SUES BECAUSE REESE’S HALLOWEEN CANDY DIDN’T HAVE PUMPKIN FACE

A Florida woman filed a $5 billion – with a ‘b’ – federal class-action lawsuit against the Hershey chocolate company, claiming that its Halloween Reese’s treats were deceptively marketed because they didn’t have jack-o-lantern faces. Cynthia Kelly says the treats were advertised with mouth and eye cuts on the wrapper but didn’t have any on the actual chocolates. The class action also included other seasonal products where the packaging differed from the actual candy, including Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins, Reese’s White Pumpkins, Reese’s Chunky Pumpkins, Reese’s Peanut Butter Ghosts, Reese’s White Ghosts, Reese’s Peanut Butter Bats, Reese’s Peanut Butter Footballs and Reese’s Peanut Butter Shapes assortment. Ms. Kelly’s attorney, Florida attorney Anthony J. Russo said in the lawsuit: “Look at the picture on the packet. It’s like a pumpkin with a face and a little mouth – then you open the packet and you’re presented with that monstrosity.”
* It’s all you can do to eat the whole thing, isn’t it.
* With all those Pumpkins and Ghosts and Bats and Footballs and Shapes, they were bound to screw up somewhere.
* It’s not that the chocolate barely tastes like chocolate; it’s not that the peanut butter doesn’t resemble peanut butter anymore; it’s not that they’ve shrunk the size of the candy down and jacked up the price — it’s because there’s no pumpkin face on it, like the picture on the wrapper. I can see this going to the Supreme Court.
* Hershey’s should tell her to switch to lollipops, because she can go suck it.
* I’m sort of surprised her name isn’t Karen.
* Use the Trick or Treat defense. The ‘trick’ is that the candy looks different than the wrapper. Ha-ha, trick!

MISSING FLORIDA PIGEON FOUND, RETURNS HOME

In Cape Coral, Florida over the holidays, a customer at Eva’s Hair and Skin Salon noticed a pigeon outside the salon door, trying to drink from some dripping water. There was a band around the bird’s leg. The customer grabbed the pigeon and saw that the band had a phone number. She called it and asked, “Are you missing a pigeon?” The man on the other end said it had been missing since Hurricane Ian 15 months ago. And, lo, there was much rejoicing, as the pigeon and its owner were reunited. Elizabeth Merriken, the customer who caught the pigeon, said, “You can tell the bird really knew his owner.”
* How? Was there a resemblance? Did they have a secret handshake?
* Meanwhile, the pigeon’s like “Can I PLEASE have a drink of water now???”
* The next day, the pigeon came back for a pedicure and a blowout.
* ♪♫ “And a pigeon in a palm tree.” ♫
* “It’s so great to have you home again! So … what have you been up to for the last 15 months?” “Oh, you know – a lot of eating, a lot of pooping.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SPIDER IN THE EAR

This year’s first There’s-A-Spider-In-My-Ear story comes from Lucy Wild, of Cheshire, England, who thought the crackling in her ear was ear wax buildup. She stuck in an ear cleaner with an attached camera (* This exists?) and she saw a spider. After running around screaming for awhile trying to get it out, she called emergency services who told her to put warm olive oil in her ear, which drew it out. The spider was about 1-centimeter, the size of your small fingernail. But then, a pain persisted in her ear, and a doctor noticed the spider had built a nest in there. Wild said the procedure to remove the spider nest was painful, worse than childbirth.
* Wait’ll the eggs hatch, honey.
* Removing the nest was painful because they had to rip out all the itty-bitty carpets.
* For a minute there, she considered charging the spider rent, but spiders don’t use money, so that was just dumb.
* Animals usually go where the food is. What the hell is going on in this lady’s ears?
* Did they check her nose for termites?

DENMARK’S QUEEN QUITS QUEENING

Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II has announced she will abdicate her throne early in 2024, after a reign lasting more than five decades. Now 83 years old, Queen Margrethe said in her traditional New Year’s Eve speech broadcast on Danish television that she will hand over the throne to her son, Crown Prince Frederik. Margrethe II took over the throne on 14 January 1972 following the death of King Frederik IX.
* She says she’s tired of being benevolent. She says she wants to try ruthlessness for awhile.
* She’s handing over the throne because she doesn’t want to sit on it anymore. It’s just like the one in Game of Thrones, with knives sticking out all over.
* The biggest downside: no more free Danishes in the break room.
* Her biggest contributions to Denmark were Danish furniture design and converting the national currency to Legos.

TRENDING

JASON ALDEAN IS MOST SEARCHED MUSICIAN ON GOOGLE FOR 2023

Country star Jason Aldean took the No. 1 spot for musicians on Google search for 2023, and his song “Try That In A Small Town” was the most searched song of the year. Fellow country star Oliver Anthony also appeared on the Musician search list at No. 3. His breakout song “Rich Men North of Richmond” appeared second, under Aldean, on the songs list.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (four-day totals, December 29-Jan 1)

1. Wonka – $30 million
2. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – $23.5 million
3. The Color Purple – $15 million
4. The Boys in the Boat – $11.2 million
5. Anyone But You – $11 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

January 15, Monday – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
January 26, Friday – Int’l Holocaust Remembrance Day (UN)
February 2, Friday – Groundhog Day
February 10, Saturday – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Dragon)
February 12, Monday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Wednesday – Valentine’s Day
February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
February 13, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Anthony Carrigan (“Barry”) … 41
Kate Bosworth (actress) … 41
Taye Diggs (actor, “Empire,” “Murder in the First”) … 53
Christy Turlington (supermodel) … 55
Cuba Gooding Jr. (actor, “American Horror Story,” “The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story”) … 56
Tia Carrere (actress, “Wayne’s World”) … 57
Jack Hanna (TV host, “Jack Hanna’s Into the Wild”) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve always been a sucker for attention.”

(A) Donald Trump
(B) Kim Kardashian
(C) Cuba Gooding, Jr.

ANSWER: (C) Cuba Gooding, Jr.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2018 – The World Health Organization announced its next official Classification of Diseases would classify gaming addiction as mental health condition.
* Not a lot of people heard about it – they were busy playing Red Dead Redemption 2.

2008 – Oil prices soared to $100 a barrel for the first time.
* They wanted to see if they could get away with it. And … yep, they did!

1974 – U.S. president Nixon signed a bill requiring states to limit highway speeds to 55 mph to save gasoline. It was repealed in 1995.
* I work in radio. I’ve never been able to afford a car that could run well enough to hit 55 mph.

1960 – John F. Kennedy announced he would run for the U.S. presidency.
* He heard the Oval Office was a chick magnet.

1929 – America and Canada agreed to preserve Niagara Falls.
* Only after studies showed the costs would be covered by income from tacky gift shops and cheesy honeymoon motels.

1893 – A woman appeared on a U.S. postage stamp for the first time.
* And all day she asked everyone, “Does this stamp make me look fat?”

1870 – Construction of Brooklyn Bridge began.
* I got a great deal on that bridge a few years back.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Adele was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her third studio album “25.” The album was a massive commercial success, debuting at No.1 in more than 25 markets and broke first-week sales records in multiple countries, including the United Kingdom and United States; in the U.S., the album sold 3.38 million copies in its first week of release, marking the largest single-week sales for an album since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking point-of-sale music purchases in 1991.

2003 – 50 Cent was arrested by police in New York. Guns were found in his vehicle after his SUV was searched when it had been left in a no-parking zone. Police found a .25-caliber handgun and a .45-caliber pistol in the vehicle, officers said both guns were loaded.

2002 – Backstreet Boy Nick Carter was arrested in a Tampa, Florida nightclub after being involved in a fight. Police said that Carter was arguing with a woman and when they asked him to leave, he continued arguing. He was arrested on a misdemeanor count of resisting a law enforcement officer without violence.

1988 – Michael Jackson and Bono shared first place in an American poll of “the most beautiful lips.”

1985 – Rolling Stone Ron Wood married his girlfriend Jo in Gerrards Cross, Buckinghamshire, England. Guests included Keith Richard, Bill Wyman, Charlie Watts, Ringo Starr, Rod Stewart and Jeff Beck.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 18% of people do THIS at work at least once a week, and they’re most likely to do it on a Tuesday. What is it?
Arrive late

2. In a recent survey, over 80% percent of people said that when THIS happens at work, they actually spend the time doing something unrelated. What is it?
A conference call

3. 4% of employees surveyed said they never do THIS at work. What is it?
Laugh

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