WEDNESDAY, Nov 29 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, November 29, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CHOCOLATES DAY

ELECTRONIC GREETINGS DAY

NATIONAL LEMON CREME PIE DAY

SQUARE DANCE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Here’s a chance to get out and ‘Dosey Do’ with your partner. It’s Square Dance Day! English, Irish, and Scottish settlers brought square dancing to the U.S. Couples square dance in circles or square formations. It’s lively and quick, and lots of fun. As it evolved in the U.S., a caller was added, to help dancers stay in step. It remains popular in southern and western rural areas.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

THE BUZZI USED TO EAT THIS AS A KID

Reddit asked, “What is a food you ate as a child that makes you disgusted now?” Some of the responses:
– “Circus peanuts.”
– “Freezer-burned fish sticks..”
– “Bologna.”
– “Tang”
– “Sugar sandwich. White bread with soft butter and lots of sugar.”
– “Hot dogs with peanut butter on a bun.”
– “I used to eat jelly on a banana.”
– “I ate hot chocolate powder packets. straight up.”
– “Grape jelly. Would not eat toast without it. Can not stand that stuff now.”
– “Kraft dinner anymore after I threw some up as a teenager. I had a stomach bug and noodles came up and out my nose, which was the end of it for me.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What did you eat as a kid that you just can’t stomach now?

THE MOST SINFUL CITIES

WalletHub has released its annual list of the most sinful cities in America. The criteria includes seven behaviors: anger/hatred, jealousy, excesses/vices, greed, lust, vanity, and laziness. Here are the Top 15:
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Houston, Texas
3. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4. Los Angeles, California
5. Atlanta, Georgia
6. Denver, Colorado
7. Dallas, Texas
8. Phoenix, Arizona
9. Miami, Florida
10. Cleveland, Ohio
11. St. Louis, Missouri
12. Orlando, Florida
13. Baton Rouge, Louisiana
14. New York City, New York
15. North Las Vegas, Nevada
* Quick: name 15 cities whose convention centers are suddenly booked solid for the year?
* Las Vegas: The city so vice, they listed it twice.
* You hear the city “Orlando” and you think, what? But then you go, “Ah, Disney, of course.”
* They used to have gluttony on the list but had to drop it because, hey, not every city in America can be Number 1.
* What about cities where people put up Christmas lights before Thanksgiving?

Here are the Five Least Sinful Cities in the U.S.:
5. Yonkers, New York
4. Portland, Maine
3. Worcester, Maine
2. Nashua, New Hampshire
1. Boise, Idaho
* Boise: The town so priggish, it’s not very biggish.
* The people of Boise are thinking, “Let’s move to Nashua, where things are sizzlin’.”
* “Yonkers – We’re not Bonkers!”
* Just look at these cities. Man, the small talk in Heaven is going to be BORRRR-ingggg!

U.S. NEWS

HOMELESS MAN PULLS UP PAUL REVERE’S TOMBSTONE

“Listen my children and you shall hear / Of the man who defaced Paul Revere.” A homeless man is accused of a vandalism spree across downtown Boston. Police say Lawrence Hawkins, 46, is behind at least eight incidents, including breaking a police car windshield, smashing a store windows, throwing a brick at a Holocaust memorial, and yanking fourteen tombstones out of the ground at the historic Granary Building and King’s Chapel Burying Ground cemetery (* redundant!). One of those yanked up was Paul Revere’s headstone.
* Well, that’s why Boston people are known as Yankees.
* Wow. Homeless men aren’t usually as strong as Dwayne Johnson.
* Paul Revere was, of course, a hero of the American Revolution, who tried to warn everybody about Brexit.
* Unlike his friend and patriot Ethan Allan, who sold luxury furniture.
* That vandal sounds like he had one if by Liquorland and seven or eight if by Sea-grams.

FLORIDA WOMAN TRIES TO EAT COUNTERFEIT MONEY

A Florida woman, stopped for attempting to use counterfeit cash at a North Miami Beach Walmart, tried to eat the fake money to avoid arrest. 38-year-old Zipporah Abraham was stopped after attempting to use fake money to pay for her purchases. She then tried to leave the store with $800 in items she didn’t pay for. When loss prevention officers stopped her, Abraham stuffed $200 in counterfeit money into her mouth and tried to eat it.
* Put your money where your mouth is, dad used to say.
* The phrase “cough it up” is usually just an expression.
* “I’m gonna need some ketchup or teriyaki sauce or SOMETHING!”
* “You’re under arrest, lady. Chew on THAT!”
* Just curious – does this story qualify as “fake news”?

CHARGES DROPPED AGAINST CATTLE PENIS BLEACHERS

In Crook County, Wyoming, charges have been dropped against two ranchers accused of bleaching images of male genitalia on their neighbor’s cows. Patrick Carroll, 66, and his son Tucker Carroll, 34, were charged with property destruction, accused of bleaching penises and other shapes onto the bodies of 189 of their neighbor’s cattle to get the neighbor’s attention after three years of his cattle crossing onto their land. Some cattle had been bleached all along their backs. Some had bleach marks around their faces. Others displayed “an attempt at drawing a penis” on a cow’s ribs. The bleached animals are worth $500 to $700 less per head on the cattle market (* Why? Does the meat taste “bleachy”?). A judge dismissed the charges, finding insufficient evidence to advance the case to a felony-level court.
* Maybe a hundred and NINETY bleached cows would have been enough.
* Dick move, fellas.
* Now THAT’S a Yellowstone episode I would watch.
* Those cowhides would make a pretty cool coat.
* Three words: brown hair color.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN WITH HEADACHES FINDS CHOPSTICKS UP HIS NOSE

In Vietnam, a man went to a hospital after experiencing severe headaches for five months. Doctors found that he had a pair of chopsticks lodged in his skull. The unnamed 35-year-old patient went to the hospital last week complaining of headaches as well as fluid discharge. A CT scan revealed 2-to-3 inch pieces of chopsticks up each nostril and stuck in his brain. The man recalled that he’d been involved in a fight five months ago while out drinking and didn’t remember many details from the brawl, only that someone had stabbed him in the face with an unknown object. He did go to a hospital following the incident, but doctors didn’t find any abnormalities with his nose at the time. Doctors were able to remove the chopsticks.
* Which was good, because it was lunchtime.
* He did mention that he’s had Chinese food on his mind lately.
* Coulda been worse. Coulda been steak knives.
* Who was the fight with, John Wick?
* Did they check his ears for fortune cookies?
* Now he can breathe easier, literally.

MAN HAD WOLF SPIDER EGGS IN HIS TOE

A cruise ship passenger was vacationing with his wife in the south of France when suddenly his toe swelled up and turned purple. British man Colin Blake, celebrating his 35th anniversary on a cruise with his wife in Marseille, went to the on-board doctor and learned that a Peruvian wolf spider had bitten him and laid eggs inside his toe. When the doctor sliced open his toe, spider eggs came pouring out. (* POURING OUT!!!) After he returned from his trip, Blake went to his doctor and was put on a course of antibiotics, but four weeks later there was still something going on down there. It turned out to be a leftover baby spider that hadn’t been flushed, and it hatched and was eating its way out of his toe.
* Thanks, and hope you all enjoy the rest of your breakfast.
* It bit his toe AND laid eggs. Are these wolf spiders jerks or what?
* And I bet the baby spider had COVID, from the cruise ship.
* I’ve heard of webbed toes, but this is ridiculous.
* Hey, cruise line – Next time you go to Peru, how about at least hosing the ship out afterwards?

ELEPHANTS TRAMPLE CAR AFTER IT HIT A BABY ELEPHANT

On Sunday, a herd of wild elephants in Malaysia trampled on a car after it struck a baby in their group. The car was being driven by a 48-year-old man, along with his wife and adult son. It was drizzling and the weather was foggy when the car rounded a bend and hit the baby elephant that was walking on the road with the herd. The calf fell to the ground upon impact. The other five elephants rushed towards the car and started trampling it. The calf reportedly got back up, and the herd moved on. The family was uninjured, but there was extensive damage to the front and sides of the car, with all the windows smashed and its side doors caved in.
* Also, the calf walked over and peed on it.
* Pachyderm Smackdown!
* Try explaining THAT to the car rental agency.
* Then the rhinos attacked.

TRENDING

“SPINAL TAP” SEQUEL COMING NEXT YEAR

Director Rob Reiner confirmed that a sequel to his classic improv comedy documentary “This Is “Spinal Tap” is coming next year. All of the band will be back (except the drummers, of course) – Michael McKean, Christopher Guest and Harry Shearer. Reiner says he has a bunch of high-profile cameos lines up, including Paul McCartney, Elton John and Garth Brooks. Reportedly, the film will mimic Martin Scorsese’s “The Last Waltz,” the famous concert film that documented the final performance of The Band before they broke up. This one will be about Spinal Tap’s last concert.

GUY FIERI TO BE PAID $100 MILLION TO KEEP BEING GUY FIERI

The Food Network, maker of about six shows and ten thousand reruns, has struck a new three-year deal with Guy Fieri. They will pay him $100 million to continue making more episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives, Guy’s Grocery Games, and Guy’s Tournament Of Champions, which will all run 24 hours a day on The Food Network. (* In fairness, he seems to be a really good guy who does a lot for charity. But, come on, Food Network, how about a little variety?)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Lucas Black (actor, “NCIS: New Orleans”) … 41
Anna Faris (actress, “Mom”) … 47
Brian Baumgartner (actor, “The Office”) … 51
Don Cheadle (actor) … 59
Kim Delaney (actress, “General Hospital,” “Army Wives”) … 62
Howie Mandel (comedian, TV personality “America’s Got Talent,” “Deal Or No Deal”) … 68
Joel Coen (producer, director, “Fargo”) … 69
Barry Goudreau (former guitarist with Boston) … 72

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve been chased … I’ve been pushed. I’ve been screamed at. I’ve been verbally abused. I’ve been afraid for my safety. But I did it all in the name of entertainment.”

(A) Kanye West
(B) Justin Beiber
(C) Howie Mandel

ANSWER: (C) Howie Mandel

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1998 – Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and other narcotics.
* Drastically cutting down on visits by Keith Richards.

1963 – President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl Warren to investigate the assassination of JFK.
* Oliver Stone was too young to take the position.

1963 – McDonald’s sold its one-billionth hamburger.
* It ought to be digested any day now.

1961 – An Atlas spacecraft was launched by NASA with Enos the chimp on board. After two orbits he landed safely.
* Then went bananas.

1953 – “Playboy” was first published – the December 1953 issue featured Marilyn Monroe.
* That week saw a record number of sprained wrists.

1929 – American Admiral Richard Byrd became the first man to fly over the South Pole.
* I knew birds fly south in winter, but that was a little nuts.

1775 – A new development in espionage was invented when Sir James Jay invented invisible ink.
* He actually invented it many years before, but the formula disappeared off the page and he had to start over.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – Former Lynyrd Skynyrd drummer Artimus Pyle, a convicted sex offender, was arrested for failing to properly register a new permanent address. The 59-year-old had pleaded guilty in 1993 to charges of attempted capital sexual battery by an adult on a victim younger than 12 and being principal to lewd and lascivious behavior on a child younger than 16. He was sentenced to eight years of probation.

2003 – A five-hour charity show, to boost the fight against AIDS, was held at the Greenpoint Stadium in Cape Town, South Africa. Acts who appeared included Bono, Queen, Peter Gabriel, Eurythmics, and Beyonce. The show was also broadcast live on the internet.

2001 – Former Beatle George Harrison died in Los Angeles of lung cancer at age 58. Tributes to George were made worldwide by The Queen, George Bush, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, George Martin and Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher.

2000 – U2’s Larry Mullen came to the rescue of motorcyclist who had been involved in a crash. Larry was driving home when he saw the motorcyclist who had crashed. He stopped and called for help on his phone and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

1996 – American singer and 60s curiosity Tiny Tim died.

1995 – Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar married model Kari Karte in San Francisco.

1986 – “Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band Live / 1975-85” started a seven-week run at No. 1 on the U.S. album chart.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Almost a third of all teenagers have done THIS without their parent’s knowledge. What is it?
Snuck out of the house and went to a concert

2. The average teenage male owns three of THESE. What are they?
Jerseys / Hoodies

3. Teenagers, 16 to 19-years-old, are responsible for almost a quarter of THESE? What are they?
Traffic accidents

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