WEDNESDAY, Aug 16 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 16, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Bellringer Sale; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL AIRBORNE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Airborne Day is observed each year on August 16. This is a day designated by the United States Congress to honor the airborne parts of the nation’s armed forces. August 16, 1940, marks the date of the first official Army parachute jump, validating the innovative concept of inserting United State ground combat forces behind a battle line by parachute.”

NATIONAL ROLLER COASTER DAY

NATIONAL RUM DAY

NATIONAL TELL A JOKE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“What would be better than a day filled with laughter? National Tell A Joke Day is observed annually on August 16th and that’s no joke! This day will be filled with smiles and much laughter from morning till night as everyone shares their favorite jokes. The more jokes that you tell, the more fun you will have and so will those around you.”

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

THE BLIND SIDE CASE GETS MORE INTERESTING

On Monday, Michael Oher, the ex-NFL star whose story inspired the Oscar-winning film “The Blind Side,” was accusing his adoptive family of not sharing money they earned from the movie, and that he was fooled into agreeing to a conservatorship to handle his finances, a deal which he now regrets. On Tuesday, the Tuohy family came out fighting, claiming Oher allegedly asked them for $15 million not to go public with claims they swindled him. Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy said through their lawyer there is no credence to Oher’s claims he was fooled into a conservatorship and deny the claims the couple made millions off his life’s story. The lawyer says Oher has repeatedly threatened to “plant a negative story” about the Tuohys in the press if they didn’t cough up an eight-figure check. The attorney says, “Over the years, the Tuohys have given Mr. Oher an equal cut of every penny received from ‘The Blind Side.’” The lawyer alleges Oher had been dropped as a client by other lawyers, but “has finally found a willing enabler and filed this ludicrous lawsuit as a cynical attempt to drum up attention in the middle of his latest book tour.” (* OH. He’s on a BOOK TOUR. Now it all makes sense.) He notes that the Tuohys are millionaires in their own right thanks to their fast food franchise dealings, which had netted them $213 million. “The notion that a couple worth hundreds of millions of dollars would connive to withhold a few thousand dollars in profit participation payments from anyone — let alone from someone they loved as a son — defies belief.”
* Except – have you ever noticed that some rich people can be incredibly, incredibly stingy?
* Boy, Thanksgiving at the Tuohys is going to be more awkward then the one in the movie.
* This whole thing stems from them not letting Michael use the station wagon last Friday night for a date.
* If only he could have made some money from “Blind Side” action figures.
* Who wants to see this family problem worked out on Dr Phil? I do.

THE BUZZ

MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU” FIRST

A study published in the SAGE Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that men in heterosexual relationships tend to say “I love you” first. Researchers had 3,109 adults from Australia, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, France, Poland, and the UK complete several online questionnaires about their relationships. Researchers found that in every region but France, men were more likely to say “I love you” first.
– On average, “I love you” wasn’t usually said until 107 days in for men and 122 days for women.
* A 12% difference??? That’s CRAZY!!!
* It’s always a competition with men, isn’t it. “I love you. There, I said it first, I win!!”
* Sometimes, it’s an honest mistake. You say it to your bag of Doritos and she’s sitting right in the next chair.
* And sometimes, it doesn’t count. Like when you say it in a baby voice while making big pouty lips. “Oooo … I wuv you!”
* Just know that men may say it first, but that’s it. Never again.

THE THREE TYPES OF MASCULINITY

Researchers from the University of British Columbia in Canada say that men can be divided into three categories of masculinity. They conducted in-depth interviews with 92 heterosexual men aged 19 to 43 from 14 different countries to determine how they navigated partnerships as gender roles continue to transform. The study is published in the August issue of Social Science & Medicine.
– The first masculinity type defined by the researchers is “neo-traditionalist,” whereby a man “largely follows traditional gender roles, such as being the provider and protector in the relationship.”
– The second type is “egalitarian” and involves a man “seeking a more equal partnership, with emphasis on mutuality and measurable give and take.”
– The third category is “progressive,” where men “work on building gender equity in the partnership through regular, purposeful conversations with their partner to adjust who does what.”
* What type of man divides men into three categories of masculinity?
* Two of these three categories look like they involve talking a lot, what man wants that?
* Sounds like you could also call this The Woke Spectrum.
* I thought the three types of masculinity were The Jason Momoa Type, The Bradley Cooper Type, and The Jonah Hill Type.
* It was so much easier 15 years ago. You were either Team Edward or Team Jacob.
* Let me break down the three types of masculinity: They went to see the Barbie movie; They were dragged by their partner to see the Barbie movie; They will never see the Barbie movie. There. Where’s my research grant?

U.S. NEWS

OCEAN WINEMAKERS BUSTED

So, these two guys in California had a great business plan. Emanuele Azzaretto and Todd Hahn started a company called Ocean Fathoms wine. They bottled around 2,000 bottles of wine, then placed the bottles in special cages sunk to the bottom of the sea floor a mile off the coast of Montecito. They used a special “high-density corking system” meant to withstand ocean waters. The wine aged under the sea for awhile, and then they brought it up a sold it for up to $500 a bottle. Another cool thing: the bottles were covered in barnacles. The problem, according to the Santa Barbara County District Attorney’s Office, was that the guys did not apply for permits to submerge their cages full of wine into the ocean. The FDA determined the wine was not fit for human consumption because, despite the “high density corking system,” seawater got into it. In addition, the men sold the wine without federally-required labeling. They never obtained a valid business license or alcohol sales permit. They failed to pay sales taxes to the state. They claimed that part of its profits were donated to a local environmental nonprofit. This was not true. They were also charged with illegally discharging materials into U.S. waters. In the end, the guys had to repay $50,000 to an investor and are banned from operating their business. The alcohol was disposed of at a wastewater treatment plant, and the bottles were recycled.
* And they even had a great slogan: “We will sell no wine before it’s brined.”
* I think they were drinking their own stash when they came up with this plan.
* This idea did not hold water.
* Ocean Fathoms. I can’t fathom a worse business plan.
* Jeff Bezos. Bill Gates. Elon Musk. Emanuele Azzaretto. Todd Hahn. Two of these things are not like the others.
* Sometimes, y’know, we should be thankful for government regulations.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

AMERICAN TOURISTS FOUND PASSED OUT ON EIFFEL TOWER

Two American tourists were found asleep on the Eiffel Tower on Monday morning after allegedly getting drunk and evading security the night before. Eiffel Tower staff found and woke the men as they made their rounds ahead of the tower’s 9 a.m. opening time. They were sleeping in a section of the tower normally closed to the public between its second and third levels. Police say they bought a ticket on Sunday night and then hopped security barriers while descending from the top of the tower.
* Finally, a story about someone’s vacation I WANT to hear.
* So … hotel rooms in Paris are expensive?
* Hey, Pierre – we saved your butts in World War II. Let ’em go!
* Now I’m intrigued by this super secret level where no one’s allowed to go.
* Time to get a refund on those security barriers.

AUDIO: SLEEP STANDING UP

A coffee shop in downtown Tokyo, the Nescafé Harajuku, is installing something called the Giraffenap pod, which allows people to catch a quick nap while standing up. The Giraffenap pod was inspired by the giraffe, which is capable of sleeping while standing up. It looks like a payphone booth. It has soundproofing and ventilation, and adjustable supports that supposedly let you sleep in an upright position. There is a padded shelf for your arms and head, a seat for your butt, a pad for your lower legs, and a pad for your feet. All the pads are angled and adjustable to lock you into an upright position. According to makers of the Giraffenap, users can potentially reach stage 2, or N2, sleep: a pre-REM state where the body relaxes and breathing, heart rate, and brain activity slow enough to feel refreshed after just 20 minutes of napping.
* As an added bonus, when you wake up you’ll be sore in completely new ways.
* Grab a coffee, take a nap. What’s wrong with this concept?
* Or, take a nap first, and when you wake up you don’t need the coffee. What’s wrong with this concept?
* How do you deal with the drool on the face pad from the previous guy?
* You could save a ton of money and just use a refrigerator carton.
CLIP: We prefer the old-fashioned method of not sleeping: our “Sleepawake” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/04-08-SleepAwake(dot)mp3

TRENDING

SNAKE NAMED AFTER HARRISON FORD

A new species of snake has been named after Indiana Jones actor, Harrison Ford. The pale yellowish-brown snake,with scattered black splotches, was discovered by researchers in the Andes mountains in Peru and has been named Tachymenoides harrisonfordi. Says Harrison, “These scientists keep naming critters after me, but it’s always the ones that terrify children. I don’t understand. I spend my free time cross-stitching. I sing lullabies to my basil plants, so they won’t fear the night.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Dan Smyers (country singer w Dan and Shay) … 36
Ashton Shepherd (country singer) … 37
Emily Robison (country vocalist with The Chicks) … 51
Steve Carell (actor) … 61
Timothy Hutton (actor) … 63
Madonna (pop legend, born Madonna Ciccone) … 65
Angela Bassett (actress, “American Horror Story”) … 65
Laura Innes (actress, “How to Get Away with Murder,” “ER”) … 66
James Cameron (director) … 69
Kathie Lee (Gifford) (TV host) … 70
Julie Newmar (actress, played “Catwoman” on the 60s Batman TV show) … 90

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I won’t be happy till I’m as famous as God.”

(A) Elon Musk
(B) Kanye West
(C) Madonna

ANSWER: (C) Madonna

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2021 – U.S. President Joe Biden said “I stand squarely behind my decision” to withdraw US troops from Afghanistan, despite sudden collapse of the country to the Taliban.
* Mission Not Accomplished.

2008 – Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi were married at their Beverly Hills home.
* It’s the perfect match – sneakers and stilletos.

1987 – Thousands of people worldwide began a two-day celebration of the “harmonic convergence,” which believers called the start of a new, purer age of humankind.
* Yeah … it didn’t work.

1954 – Sports Illustrated was published for the first time. It was claimed that 250,000 subscriptions had been sold before the first issue came off of the presses.
* And that’s without any mention of a swimsuit issue.

1898 – Edwin Prescott patented the roller coaster.
* Shortly thereafter, someone thought of the seat belt.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2005 – Madonna suffered three cracked ribs, a broken collarbone and a broken hand in a horse-riding accident on her country estate. The accident happened when she fell off a new horse on her 47th birthday.

2005 – P. Diddy appeared on the Today Show and announced that he was altering his stage name again, dropping the “P.” and referring to himself simply as “Diddy.” The name change to Diddy upset Richard “Diddy” Dearlove, a London-based DJ who took out court proceedings against P. Diddy over the use of the name. He won when an out of court settlement of approximately $180,000 was agreed to. As a result, Combs is no longer able to use the name Diddy in the UK.

1985 – Madonna wed Sean Penn on her 27th birthday.

1977 – Elvis Presley’s career came to an end when he died on the toilet, pumped full of drugs and bad food.

1975 – Peter Gabriel quit Genesis, elevating drummer Phil Collins to lead vocalist.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. One in four men who have had plastic surgery have THIS in common. What is it?
They’re lawyers

2. 1 in 7 men surveyed said they do THIS – and half of them would not want their buddies to know. What is it?
They shave their legs

3. 70% of men surveyed said they would give up THIS for a year in order to keep their hair. What is it?
Sex

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