FRIDAY, Aug 4 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, August 4, 2023
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DAY

INTERNATIONAL BEER DAY – First Friday in August

SINGLE WORKING WOMAN’S DAY

U.S. COAST GUARD DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“U.S. Coast Guard Day honors the military branch that protects our waters and shorelines. The U.S. Defense Department suggests that this day is largely an internal celebration for all Coast Guard personnel and their families, past and present. But, we’d like to encourage everyone to honor the brave members of this important branch of the military. Celebrate U.S. Coast Guard Day by learning more about the responsibilities and functions of the U.S. Coast Guard. They are now playing an even more extensive role in Homeland Security to protect our country. We salute Coast Guard personnel today and every day. We hope you do, too.”

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

THE BUZZ

IS YOUR JOB POINTLESS?

Researchers at the University of Zurich have done a study that finds a significant portion of employees perceive their work as being pointless. Researchers analyzed a collection of survey data encompassing 1,811 respondents in the U.S. working 21 different types of jobs. Respondents were asked if their work gave them “a feeling of making a positive impact on community and society” and “the feeling of doing useful work.” 19 percent of respondents spread across a wide variety of occupations answered “never” or “rarely” to those inquiries. Those working in business, finance, and sales were more than twice as likely to say their jobs were socially useless compared to other workers. Office assistants and managers were also more likely to say their job was pointless. However, the study notes other factors influence employees’ perceptions of their own work, such as alienation, unfavorable working conditions, and social interactions.
* Another group that mostly thought their jobs were useless was researchers at the University of Zurich.
* Look at the Oakland A’s. Their jobs are generally pointless. Although in baseball that’s called ‘scoreless.’
* Not to worry. All those useless jobs will be sucked up by AI in about three years.
* I go by the belief that every job has value. Except people who make the robocalls.

U.S. NEWS

KIDNAPPER HELD WOMAN AT HOUSE OWNED BY THE CITY’S MAYOR

The Klamath Falls, Oregon home where a man allegedly imprisoned a kidnapped woman in a makeshift cinder block cell is owned by the city’s mayor and her husband. The suspect, Negasi Zuberi, 29, faces federal charges after he allegedly picked up a woman, who is a sex worker in Seattle, on July 15, restrained her in the back seat of his vehicle with handcuffs and leg irons, then drove her approximately 450 miles to Klamath Falls, assaulting her along the way. Zuberi then allegedly forced the woman into a cinderblock cell in the home’s garage, where she stayed until she broke free a few hours later and ran for help. Zuberi was renting the home from its owners, identified in property records as Klamath Falls Mayor Carol Westfall and her husband, Kevin. The couple released a statement via email saying, “We are shocked and dismayed by what has occurred. We applaud the actions of the woman who helped capture this person and prevent him from committing further atrocities.”
* “Also, we have a man coming to look at the furnace next Tuesday.”
* “We are shocked and dismayed that this happened. The rental agreement clearly states no subletting.”
* Negasi Zuberi’s cell will probably be larger than the one he put her in. So not fair.
* This is not the kind of housing problem a mayor wants to have.
* Who DOESN’T want to run for mayor of Klamath Falls now, huh? Your campaign ad is already made for you.

ANOTHER FISHING TOURNAMENT SCANDAL

There’s another fishing tournament scandal in the news – this time involving Lake Erie walleyes that had allegedly been stuffed with smaller fish to make them heavier. Peter Smith, 57, a competitor at the Bart’s Cove Walleye Duel in Dunkirk, N.Y., was disqualified on the the first day of the event after officials discovered that two of Smith’s walleyes appeared to have been stuffed with smaller fish. One contained a 12-inch walleye with its tail portion removed so it would fit; another contained a fully intact white perch. Both of those fish had lip holes, indicating that they had recently been caught before being stuffed. Grand prize for the event is an all-inclusive Panama fishing trip valued at $14,500. The incident is under investigation. Back in May, two men were sentenced to 10 days in jail for stuffing fish with lead weights during a walleye tournament on Lake Erie in October 2022.
* Time to buy an x-ray machine.
* What was his excuse? He happened to catch fish with eating disorders?
* This guy is the one that didn’t get away.
* Do like you do with the fish – throw him in the cooler!
* I don’t think they’ll be letting this guy off the hook.

KELLOGG’S “ICEE” CEREAL MAKES YOUR MOUTH FEEL COOL

Kellogg’s has a new breakfast cereal based on the “Icee” slush drink. The gimmick of the cereal is, it’s supposed to make your mouth feel cool, like you’re slurping an Icee. According to a reviewer on The Takeout website, Icee cereal has a blue raspberry and cherry flavoring, and smells exactly like an Icee tastes: sweet, nothing like real fruit. It tastes like any fruit-flavored cereal. But as for the cooling, the reviewer said it made her mouth feel tingly and weird, like she had eaten a menthol cough drop to combat it. A TikTok taster said it feels “like I put Vicks Vapor rub or icy hot on my lips without the smell.” Kellogg’s is staying tight-lipped about what they are coating the cereal with to produce the cooling effect.
* Maybe the cereal is just colored mothballs.
* Something the company won’t say – that’s what I want to eat!
* If you grind it up and add water, it’s great to rub onto sunburns.
* If it numbs your lips going in, imagine what it does going out.

NATIONAL SNEAK SOME ZUCCHINI ONTO YOUR NEIGHBOR’S PORCH DAY

You planted a few zucchini seeds. It’s the one plant that actually grew for you. It’s the only plant that ever grows. And now you’ve got zucchinis up the wazoo, or wherever. So, what do you do with it? Nobody eats more than one zucchini a year. Well, August 8 is National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day. It’s the day to sneak up to your neighbor and leave a little surprise for when they open the door. National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day was created by Thomas Roy, who also invented National No Socks Day.
* You have to be careful – this is why the Stand Your Ground law was created.
* Beware of Ring doorbell cameras.
* It’s the opposite of being a porch pirate – and maybe worse.
* Wait – that’s it! Put your extra zucchini in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch! Problem solved!
* Until they bring it back.
* And you can only leave zucchini at your neighbor’s, not, say, kittens or small children.

AMERICA’S BEST RESTROOM CONTEST

America has an “America’s Best Restroom” contest, run by restroom supply company Cintas, that rewards excellence in bathroom design. From now through August 11, anyone can see pictures of the finalist bathrooms and vote on their favorites.
– Drusie & Darr (Nashville, Tennessee)
– El Rio (San Francisco, California)
– Hell ‘n Blazes Brewing Company (Melbourne, Florida)
– Juban’s Creole Restaurant (Baton Rouge, Louisiana)
– Rabbit Hole (Greenville, South Carolina)
– Frying Pan (New York City)
– Little America Hotel (Salt Lake City, Utah)
– Snowbasin Resort (Huntsville, Utah)
– Baltimore/Washington International /Thurgood Marshall Airport (Baltimore, Maryland)
– Clear Lake and Des Moines River Safety Rest Areas (Jackson, Minnesota)
* When you’re voting, do you get a Number One and Number Two choice?
* Remember, the voting ends August 11th, so if you want to check any of these out, you’d better get going.
* The winner will be sitting pretty.
* I dunno. Something stinks about this contest.
* What we really need is a warning about the Worst Restroom.
* PHONE TOPIC: Who has the coolest bathrooms in your town?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

600 AFFECTED BY HEAT AT INTERNATIONAL BOY SCOUT JAMBOREE

Hundreds of attendees at the World Scout Jamboree in South Korea have fallen ill from the heat. The event has drawn 43,000 young Scouts from 158 countries this year. By the end of the first day, Tuesday, officials had counted at least 400 patients who needed treatment for heat-related symptoms such as headaches, dizziness and exhaustion. On Wednesday, a further 207 heat-related cases emerged. The outdoor event is being held on a site which has little natural shade. The weather is expected to hover around 95F until the weekend.
* “Be prepared.” Have we forgotten “Be prepared”????
* I feel extra bad for any scouts from, like, Iceland.
* Which is where they should have the next Jamboree.
* The fire-building contest was a breeze. You just kinda put two sticks near each other and they spontaneously combust.
* This week, everyone earns a merit badge in Sweating.

BEAR STEALS MAN’S GOLF BAG

Jerome Gignac was playing a round of golf at Westwood Plateau in British Columbia when a bear came out of the woods and took off with his golf bag. Gignac said the bear walked up to the golf carts, searched all the golf bags – even though there was no food in any of them, he claims – and took off with his bag, spilling the clubs all over the ground. Mr. Gignac screamed at the bear to scare it off, which didn’t work. The bear disappeared with the bag into a nearby ravine. Mr. Gignac said it was a new bag.
* Papa Bear’s got a brand new bag.
* You know how bears like to play a round.
* Who can blame the bear? That ravine is a great course – lush, undulating landscapes featuring meticulously manicured fairways, challenging holes, water features, abundant tee times and low membership dues.
* Or else it saw the new bag and just grabbed it to sell on eBay.
* Maybe no food in the bag, but a cocaine bear knows what he’s looking for.

TRENDING

KEITH URBAN, KIX BROOKS GOING INTO NASHVILLE SONGWRITERS HALL OF FAME 2023

Country singers Keith Urban, Kix Brooks and David Lee Murphy, along with Casey Beathard and Rafe Van Hoy, will be inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame. Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame executive director Mark Ford announced the inductees Thursday. Urban will be inducted in the contemporary songwriter-artist space, while Brooks will be inducted as a veteran songwriter-artist. Beathard and Murphy will be inducted in the Hall’s contemporary songwriter category and Van Hoy will be included in the veteran songwriter category.

JEFF DANIELS RELEASING AUDIO-ONLY MEMOIR

Nice guy actor Jeff Daniels is putting out a memoir, but it’s different. Instead of a book, this will be an audio-only memoir, “Alive and Well Enough,” a 12-part series for Audible. According to the official release “Alive and Well Enough” “mixes storytelling, original music and performance. Says Daniels, “Audible is the only place where I get to do everything I do.” He says it’s “an audio adventure of an accidental artist who one day looked up and realized he had a sense of humor, a passion for writing and stories to tell.” Daniels debuted in Miloš Forman’s “Ragtime” and starred in tons of stuff: “Terms of Endearment,” “Something Wild,” “Heartburn,” “Radio Days,” “Speed,” “Gettysburg,” “101 Dalmatians,” “Pleasantville,” “The Newsroom,” “Godless,” “To Kill a Mockingbird” on Broadway, “American Rust.” And on and on. “Alive and Well Enough” debuts on Audible September 7.

TIM MCGRAW’S KIDS DON’T WANT TO SING WITH HIM

Tim McGraw revealed that he wanted to record a song with both his wife Faith Hill and his three daughters, but his daughters passed on the opportunity. “They’re the life of the party every time they’re around,” McGraw said of his girls. “They just inspire us in so many ways. I’d love to do a song with all five of us at some point. I talk about it all the time, and they’re like, ‘I ain’t singing with you, dad.'”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Meghan Markle (former actress, now Duchess of Sussex, Mrs. Prince Harry) … 42
Daniel Dae Kim (actor, “Hawaii Five-O”) … 55
Barack Obama (former U.S. President) … 62
Billy Bob Thornton (actor) … 68

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“French fries and vino are my vices.”

(A) King Charles
(B) Jeff Bezos
(C) Meghan Markle

ANSWER: (C) Meghan Markle

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1987 – The Federal Communications Commission voted to rescind the Fairness Doctrine, which required radio and television stations to present balanced coverage of controversial issues.
* Yeah. Government agencies have no business getting involved with fairness.

1977 – President Carter signed a measure establishing the Department of Energy.
* That’s why today we have such abundant, low-cost energy.

1916 – The U.S. bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25 million.
* When it comes to buying nice vacation spots from other countries, I have to say I think this was a lot better deal than Alaska.

1892 – “Lizzie Borden took an ax, and gave her mother forty whacks; when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one!” Lizzie Borden, a Sunday school teacher, was arrested and charged with the ax murder of her parents. She was later acquitted but the legend that “she really did it” persists to this day, and the case is still officially unsolved.
* I don’t know – she sounds wacky to me.

1883 – The steam shovel was introduced.
* Can you dig it?

1790 – The U.S. Coast Guard was founded, originally called the “Revenue Cutter Service.”
* These days, cutting your revenue is the IRS’s job.

1693 – A 17th century Benedictine monk, Dom Pierre Pérignon, is said to have invented sparkling wine during his tenure as cellarmaster at the Abbey of Hautvillers, near the town of Épernay in France. Today, the prestige brand of Champagne “Dom Pérignon” bears his name.
* By the way, “Pérignon” in English means “If you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it.”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – “Despacito” by Puerto Rican singer Luis Fonsi featuring Justin Bieber became the most-watched YouTube video ever, passing the Wiz Khalifa/Charlie Puth collaboration “See You Again” with nearly 3 billion views in just seven months.

2010 – Don Henley reached an out-of-court settlement with Republican Senatorial candidate Chuck DeVore who used parodies of two Eagles’ hits for an election campaign without permission. “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” and “The Boys of Summer” were used in campaign videos on YouTube as “All She Wants To Do Is Tax” and “Hope Of November.”

1999 – Remember the Rio portable digital music player? Stymied at every level in court, the nation’s leading record labels, through the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), dropped all litigation against Diamond Multimedia, makers of the Rio, which they feared would increase music piracy of copyrighted songs.

1984 – Prince started a 24-week run at the top of the U.S. album charts with “Purple Rain” – it went on to sell over 20 million copies worldwide.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, Wednesday is the most popular day to do THIS. What is it?
Go on a first date

2. 1 in 10 people will end up doing THIS on a first date. What is it?
Forget their date’s name

3. 22% of people say they wouldn’t date someone who is THIS. What is it?
Vegetarian or vegan

(c) 2023
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111