WEDNESDAY, July 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, July 26, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Farsighted Al; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL AUNTS AND UNCLES DAY

NATIONAL BAGELFEST DAY
(Familiar with “Lender’s Bagels”?) The National Day Calendar website says this:
“This crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle bread is very popular in the USA and Canada. Served with a variety of toppings as well as produced in a variety of flavors, bagel shops are a staple in most communities across the country. Bagels were brought to the United States by immigrant Polish-Jews, with a thriving business developing in New York City that was controlled for decades by Bagel Bakers Local 338, which had contracts with nearly all bagel bakeries in and around the city for its workers, who prepared all their bagels by hand. The bagel came into more general use throughout North America in the last quarter of the 20th century, which was due at least partly to the efforts of bagel baker Harry Lender, his son, Murray Lender, and Florence Sender, who pioneered automated production and distribution of frozen bagels in the 1960s. Murray also invented pre-slicing the bagel. The day is credited to Murray Lender, owner of Lenders Bagels. In 1986, Murray started the festival in Mattoon, Illinois, home of the world’s largest bagel factory.”

NATIONAL COFFEE MILKSHAKE DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

NEW REALITY SHOW: DEEPFAKED CHEATERS

There’s a Netflix reality show called “Falso Amor,” which translates to “Deep Fake Love,” a Spanish-language program that asks participants to watch clips of their partner cheating – although many of the clips are just convincing fakes created by AI. Participants then have to guess whether the videos are real or fake. At the end of the show, the couple who guesses correctly more than anyone else wins 100,000 euros (about $110,000 in US dollars). The show works by splitting five real-life couples up into two different houses, then adds a bunch of hot singles to the mix, and then subjects individuals to the experience of watching their partner cheat on them in the videos that may or may not be faked. The other part of the premise is that the couples didn’t actually know that they would be subjected to the deepfaked clips.
* And all the TV cameras filming them constantly aren’t a giveaway?
* As if there isn’t enough REAL cheating going on for a TV show.
* AI deepfakes? So the clips show them cheating with, like, Channing Tatum or Margot Robbie?
* I guess $100,000 would just about cover the couples counseling afterwards.
* This sounds about as real as an episode of The Kardashians.

THE BUZZ

WHAT DO WE CALL TWEETS NOW?

Now that Elon Musk has changed the name of Twitter to X, people are unsure what to call their tweets. The Fark website asked its readers to come up with a new name for X tweets. Here are some of them:
– Xit (does that rhyme with “Exit” or “Zit”?)
– X-platives
– X-cretions
– Xewage
– X-pectorations
– Xeet (sounds like “zeet”)
* At the time, I really thought the name “tweet” was stupid. But these are so much worse.
* So, if it’s Xeet, do you ask someone to “Xeet me”?
* Relax. In a few weeks, he’ll probably change the name again. To, like, Suds or Blippie or Chuck-chuck.
* X? Ech!

STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE

Reddit asked, “What statistically improbable thing happened to you?” Some of the responses:
– “Got attacked by a robin in the morning, then attacked by a hawk 3 hours later. Weird day.”
– “I have been hit in the head by live squirrels three times in my life each on separate occasions.”
– “I had a terrible day where my then GF broke up with me, then I did terribly in a final exam for a college class, then I lost my wallet, and finally, as I was doing the sad walk back home a random branch broke off a tree and fell on top of me and hit me square across the shoulder and knocked me to the ground. I just burst out laughing because it was so ridiculous.”
– “After losing an AirPod while skiing I was able to find it the next run.”
– “I was in a parking lot and noticed a license plate on a car that was sequentially the next one after mine.”
– “I was on a road trip with my cousins in the 80s. One of them kept playing the same song over and over by rewinding the tape and playing it again. The song was “Another One Bites The Dust.” After three plays in a row the driver pulls out the tape, says enough! And turned on the radio… Sure enough that song was playing on the radio right then.”
– “My dad’s birthday was 3-3, my brother is 6-6, mine is 7-7 and my son is 11-11.”
– “My twin sister and I hit the same answer to ‘rock, paper, scissors’ 14 times in a row.”
– “When I was a teenager I picked up a hitchhiker and then a few years later the same guy picked me up when I was walking after I ran out of gas. Never saw him before or after those two occasions.”
– “Picking the slowest checkout lane in the grocery store every single time for the last 40 or so years.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What statistically improbable thing has happened to you?

U.S. NEWS

HUFFER BLOWS OUT CAR WINDOWS

In Sturbridge, Massachusetts, police responded to a report of a vehicle explosion at a Walmart last Saturday afternoon. They found a vehicle that had all of the glass blown out of it. Inside was a woman with minor injuries. Police surmise that the woman had been huffing cans of consumer products with compressed air to get high, and then attempted to light her cigarette with the car full of flammable fumes. The explosion blew out all of her windows, including the windshield and rear window, and damaged surrounding vehicles.
* And that’s how you play “Oppenheimer: The Home Game.”
* Wow. Cigarettes are even worse for you than huffing!
* Even Wile E. Coyote was impressed.
* Missed getting a Darwin Award by a HAIR.
* Maybe she wasn’t injured because she was in the exact center of the explosion. I saw that in a Super Chicken cartoon once.

ANOTHER FOOD ASSAULT: COOKED RICE THROWN

A South Carolina man is behind bars after his arrest Monday night for striking a woman with thrown cooked rice on a Myrtle Beach street. Police say Jaimes Encarnacion, 31, threw rice into the vehicle of a 43-year-old man. It is unclear who was the intended target, but the rice struck a 39-year-old South Carolina woman sitting on the passenger side. Police cited no injuries suffered in the rice attack, although there was rice all over the inside of the car.
* Cooked rice. Now Jaimes is in hot water.
* Still, as carbohydrates go, it’s probably easier to clean up than mashed potatoes.
* This guy was steamed, and so was the rice.
* At least he didn’t follow it with a box of chopsticks.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN HIRES SNAKE TO KILL BOYFRIEND

A woman in Haldwani, India has been arrested for allegedly hiring a snake charmer to kill her boyfriend. Authorities say Mahi Arya wanted to start her life with a new lover. She reportedly plotted for two months, with her new lover and her maid, to kill her current boyfriend after becoming inspired by a hit TV show “Crime Patrol.” Mahi hired a snake charmer for 10,000 Indian rupees – around $120 – before inviting the victim, Ankit Chauhan, to her house on Friday, July 14. The 32-year-old boyfriend was bitten by a cobra on both of his feet, causing him to lose consciousness. He was then dragged into the back of a car parked a few roads away and left for dead. He was found dead the next day (* after the commercial break, just like on TV).
* This is why you should never take your shoes off when visiting someone’s house, even if they insist.
* TV – source of all the best murder ideas.
* “Crime Patrol”? She should have watched “How to Get Away with Murder.”
* Is this a copycat murder or a copysnake murder?
* Talk about ghosting your boyfriend.

IRISH MAN PLAYS DRUMS FOR 150 HOURS STRAIGHT

A Northern Ireland musician possibly set a Guinness World Record by playing the drums for more than 150 hours. Allister Brown, 45, started his attempt at the record for longest drumming marathon by an individual on July 16, and completed his project Saturday, July 22 after surpassing his goal of 150 hours. Brown was attempting to beat the current record of 134 hours and 5 minutes, which was set by Canadian Steve Gaul in 2015. The attempt must now be reviewed by Guinness World Records to become official.
* Most boring YouTube video ever.
* The idiot above me in my apartment’s got this guy beat.
* Just reading this story gives me a headache.
* This is what happens when the bass player goes home before his solo.
* Did he get bathroom breaks? Was he piddling while he was paradiddling? Did he have to take a set of bongos into the bathroom to go non-stop?

TRENDING

BRONNY JAMES, SON OF LEBRON JAMES, HAS HEART INCIDENT

Bronny James, the eldest son of Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James, suffered a cardiac arrest Monday while practicing and is in stable condition. A James family spokesperson released a statement Tuesday saying “Yesterday while practicing Bronny James suffered a cardiac arrest. Medical staff was able to treat Bronny and take him to the hospital. He is now in stable condition and no longer in ICU. We ask for respect and privacy for the James family and we will update media when there is more information.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Monica Raymund (actress, “P-town,” “Chicago Fire,” “Chicago P.D.” … 37
Kate Beckinsale (actress, “Underworld” movies) … 50
Jason Statham (actor/action star) is 56
Jeremy Piven (actor, producer, “Entourage”) … 58
Sandra Bullock (actress) … 59
Kevin Spacey (disgraced actor, “House of Cards”) … 64
Roger Taylor (drummer with Queen) … 74
Helen Mirren (actress) … 78
Mick Jagger (singer with The Rolling Stones) … 80

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“People have this obsession. They want you to be like you were in 1969. They want you to, because otherwise their youth goes with you. It’s very selfish, but it’s understandable.”

(A) Clint Eastwood
(B) Jane Fonda
(C) Mick Jagger

ANSWER: (C) Mick Jagger

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2014 – The Chinese government suspended the operations of a Shanghai meat dealer and made arrests after the company sold out-of-date meat to fast food chains, including McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
* And you thought fast food was one of the last things left that wasn’t made in China.

1991 – Actor Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman) was arrested in Florida, for exposing himself at an adult movie theater.
* “So that’s why they call you Pee Wee!”

1947 – The CIA was established by the National Security Act.
* But you didn’t hear that from us.

1789 – The world’s oldest continuously burning fire was discovered in a bed of coal in Canada’s Northwest Territories. It had been burning for thousands of years, and is still smoldering.
* This is about the hottest story that will ever come out of the Northwest Territories.

1656 – Rembrandt declared himself insolvent.
* You have to give the guy credit for playing it straight. With a good set of colored pencils, he could have drawn himself a fortune in fake money.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – A jury awarded Quincy Jones $9.4 million in royalties after Michael Jackson songs which he produced were used in two Cirque du Soleil shows and the This Is It documentary. Jones filed suit in 2013, asking for $30 million.

2006 – The guitar on which Sir Paul McCartney learned his first chords sold for $680,000 at an auction at London’s Abbey Road Studios. The Rex acoustic guitar helped McCartney persuade John Lennon to let him join his band, The Quarrymen, in 1957.

2001 – Sir Paul McCartney announced his engagement to Heather Mills, the anti-landmine campaigner and former model. The couple split in 2006.

2000 – The celebrity management company Cassandra left dozens of acts hanging when it was rocked by fraud charges, filing for bankruptcy at the Manhattan Bankruptcy Court. Clients included Alanis Morissette.

1992 – Paul Stanley of Kiss married model Pamela Bowen.

1990 – Brent Mydland from The Grateful Dead, 38, was found dead on the floor of his home from a drug overdose. Mydland had replaced keyboardist Keith Godchaux – who died in 1979 – who in turn had replaced Ron “Pigpen” McKiernan – who died in 1973.

1980 – The Rolling Stones started a seven-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Emotional Rescue,” the group’s eighth U.S. No.1.

1977 – Elvis Costello was arrested as he performed outside a CBS Records sales conference at The London Hilton Hotel. He was hoping to interest record executives into giving him an American record deal. He was fined, but CBS invited him to play a proper audition.

1977 – Led Zeppelin cut short a U.S. tour after Robert Plant’s six year-old-son Karac died unexpectedly of a virus at their home in England.

1975 – The Eagles started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “One Of These Nights.”

1969 – Elvis Presley opened his first live engagement in nearly eight years, in Las Vegas.

1968 – The Jackson Five signed a one-year contract with Motown Records.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 40% of men can’t tell you THIS about their wife. What is it?
Her shoe size

2. Approximately 1 in 5 men refer to their wives by THIS name when talking to other men. What is it?
The Boss

3. One in five married men say they did THIS the night before their wedding. What is it?
They had a nightmare

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