THURSDAY, July 6 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, July 6, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL KISSING DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Ahhh, it’s Kissing Day. The objective of this very special day, is to appreciate the kiss. So, go ahead and swap some spit today. Pucker up and give out a big, juicy kiss to anyone and everyone. (Warning: May sure you get consent.) Kissing originated thousands, and perhaps millions of years ago. It is believed to have originated from mouth to mouth feeding of parents to a child. My, it certainly has evolved over the centuries. But, why is that? The answer is simply because it makes us feel good. There’s all sorts of kisses, for all sorts of reasons. There’s the peck on the cheek, the full on the mouth kiss, and the French Kiss, the favorite among lovers. People are not the only creatures to kiss. Apes, cats, dogs, and dolphins, are among the animals that share a kiss or two.”

NATIONAL FRIED CHICKEN DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Fried Chicken Day is day to enjoy crisp and tasty, finger-licking good fried chicken. Fried chicken is one of America’s favorite meals. Sure, we all know that fried foods are not good for us. But, fried chicken tastes ohhhhh so good. We just can’t resist having it on a regular basis. There’s just one thing you need to do celebrate this day: Eat some fried chicken. You can have it for lunch, dinner or cold leftovers as a snack. Better still, have it for lunch, dinner, AND for a snack.”

TAKE YOUR WEBMASTER TO LUNCH DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, July 6

“My Adventures with Superman”
Adult Swim – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Follows a 20-something Clark Kent as he builds his secret identity as Superman while he explores his own mysterious origins.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “The Lincoln Lawyer, Season 2 Part 1”

FRIDAY, July 7

“The Ashley Madison Affair”
Hulu – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Spotlights the infamous dating website Ashley Madison, which hooked up married individuals looking to have an affair, and in 2015 it was the target of a data hack, which exposed users’ personal information after Ashley Madison refused to pay up and caused tragic consequences for those affected.

“The Horror of Dolores Roach”
Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: Justina Machado plays a woman freshly out of prison who returns to her Washington Heights neighborhood 16 years after taking the fall for her drug-dealing boyfriend. She starts working as a masseuse in the basement of an empanada shop, but her pursuit of rebuilding her life is sidetracked (or strengthened) by a little bit of “accidental” murder and cannibalism.

Season Premieres:
The CW – “Family Law”
Paramount+ – “Big Nate”

SUNDAY, July 9

“Last Call: When a Serial Killer Stalked Queer New York”
Max – New Docuseries
Synopsis: In the 1990s, a serial killer preyed upon New York City’s gay men. The series dives into the deep-rooted biases of the criminal justice system and illuminates how the LGBTQ+ community fought to solve the murders and demand fair treatment of queer crime victims.

Season Premieres:
ABC – “Celebrity Family Feud”
ABC – “The $100,000 Pyramid”
MGM+ – “Domina”

TOM CRUISE WANTS TO MAKE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE MOVIES INTO HIS 80’S

Tom Cruise says in a new interview that he wants to keep making Mission: Impossible movies into his 80s, like 80-year-old Harrison Ford has kept making Indiana Jones films. Cruise told the Sydney Morning Herald, “Harrison Ford is a legend, I hope to be still going, I’ve got 20 years to catch up with him. I hope to keep making Mission: Impossible films until I’m his age.”
* So, four more facelifts’ worth.
* They’ll still be about two-and-a-half hours long, but 90 minutes of that will be a nap.
* The stunt team’s already planning out how to jump a Rascal scooter over a train.
* He does realize that in 20 years, the audience for these movies will be dead, right?

UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT ZELENSKY’S FAVORITE BANDS

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was interviewed by CNN’s Erin Burnett. She asked him if he finds time to have moments of peace and quiet amid his country’s war effort against Russia’s invasion. Zelensky told her that in the morning when he works out, he likes to listen to Ukrainian music, and also AC/DC and Gun ‘N Roses.
* Oh, my god, just like President Biden!
* Oh, Putin is so screwed. Putin listens to Huey Lewis and the News.
* What the hell, CNN: “Mr. President, your country is under constant attack, your people are being bombed, there’s tragedy and death and destruction everywhere… who are your favorite bands?”
* Erin Burnett, inching her way towards that Pulitzer Prize.
* What happened to “If you could be any animal, what would it be?”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “How To Drink Bourbon’”
2. “You Might Be Surprised To Learn What’s On Your Dog’s Paws”
3. “Video Reveals What Happens To Used Hotel Soap”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Australian Scientist Speaks To Frogs, Fears Their Silence”

WHO LIES THE MOST? MILLENNIALS

A new survey from online casino PlayStar found that of all generations, it’s the Millennials – those born between 1981 and 1996 – that lie the most in the workplace and on social media. Of the 1,306 participants, half of them male and half of them female:
– Millennials were the worst liars, with 13% admitting to being dishonest at least once a day.
– By contrast, only 2% of baby boomers, those born between 1946 and 1964, said they fibbed once per day.
– From Generation Z (1997 to 2021) and Generation X (1965 to 1980) only 5% admitted to lying at least once a day..
– 79% of total respondents claim to have never told a fib online, according to the survey.
– 90% of Gen Xers and 80% of boomers claimed they have been fully honest on social media this year.
* Next year’s an election year – don’t forget to check all the candidates’ ages.
* The results are a little confusing, ’cause many of the Millennials lied by claiming to be Gen Z.
* Just remember: Anyone who said they wanted to take this survey was lying.
* Speaking of lying, since when do we believe anything a casino says?

U.S. NEWS

BANANA BURGLAR

A couple in Forest Park, Illinois called police over an intruder. According to the house security footage, the burglar sat on their porch for about three hours. He then went in through the unlocked side door, which led into the kitchen, triggering the burglar alarm. The victims locked themselves in a bedroom and waited for police to respond. The security camera showed the burglar taking bananas from a fruit basket, and then leaving through the same door. By the time police arrived, he was gone. The victims confirmed that nothing else was missing, and added they would press charges if the burglar is located.
* His plan had two parts: Banana; split.
* Were the bananas green or brown? They need to value them for insurance purposes.
* Banana theft. Does this happen a bunch?
* I bet if they catch and charge the guy, he’ll appeal.
* Three hours on a porch in the middle of the night, and stolen bananas. The guy was having an existential crisis.
* Buy a burglar alarm, but leave your side door unlocked. Interesting strategy.

AUDIO: WHEEL OF FLORIDA MAN! ASSAULT WITH A BIG GULP

Here’s a story you can use with the Wheel of Florida sounder. Have listeners guess the missing word from the headline.
Wheel of Florida Man CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/WheelOfFloridaMan-Intro(dot)mp3
The headline: “A Florida 7-Eleven clerk was arrested for hitting a customer in the head with a ______.
The story:
A 7-Eleven worker in Clearwater, Florida was arrested for striking a female customer in the head with a Big Gulp-sized lemonade. Police say that clerk Miles Jenkins, 35, “got frustrated with a customer over payment” and “threw a Big Gulp filled with lemonade” at the woman. The incident was witnessed by three other customers. Because he had a prior conviction, Mr. Jenkins was charged with felony battery and booked into the county jail.
* Boy, he could have killed her… by drowning.
* He’ll probably get … from 7 to 11.
* At least it wasn’t one of those 7-Eleven hot dogs! Gross!!
* A Big Gulp, at most, costs $1.84. So you can see why she might have a problem paying, or the importance of 7-Eleven collecting that amount of money.
* It’s like they say: when life hands you lemons, hit someone in the head with lemonade.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

THE MAN WITH THE OCTOPUS STUCK IN HIS THROAT

A Singapore man went to the doctor for throat discomfort. They found a small octopus lodged in his esophagus. The man first realized something was wrong after he started vomiting following a meal that included the octopus. Doctors conducted a computed tomography scan, which revealed a super-dense mass in the man’s esophagus. They managed to insert an endoscope past the octopus into the stomach and turned it backwards. They then used forceps to grasp its head and remove it from the patient. The patient recovered well following surgery and was discharged after two days.
* And the octopus was thinking “THAT was WEIRD!”
* Plenty of time to go about his business, until the eggs hatch.
* Folks, how many times to we have to go over this? Chew every bite 24 times!
* Boy, that Joey Chestnut just does not know when to stop, does he.
* This explains the squid breath.
* The esophagus octopus was considered armed and dangerous.
* Esophagus octopus. Esophagus octopus. Esophagus octopus.

CANADIAN MAN ARRESTED FOR DRUNK PADDLING

A Canadian man was arrested for being drunk in a canoe. Police were called last Thursday to Christina Lake in British Columbia for a report of an intoxicated man out in a canoe. The 51-year-old local man allegedly refused to comply with directions, but eventually made his way to shore and hid under a dock for several minutes before an officer got into the water and brought him out. He was charged with impaired operation of a canoe.
* Did they do a sobriety test? Did they make him swim a straight line?
* Drunk canoeing. Almost as dangerous as drunk curling.
* Ironically, if he’s found guilty his punishment is a paddlin’.
* Why didn’t they tow him to shore by the dinghy?

AUSTRALIAN MAN SELLING HIS LIFE FOR $2.2 MILLION

An Australian man is selling his entire life, in one package, for $2.2 million. 61-year-old Steven Tol, of Upper Coomera on the Gold Coast, has decided to sell his job, home, cars, and possessions as one package deal, and use the money to travel the world. The lucky buyer will be the proud owner of a 9,600 square-foot, four-bedroom, fully furnished house with state-of-the-art entertainment system and outdoor bar. You also get Mr. Tol’s trucking business, which he built over the span of ten years, which he says is easy to operate, stress-free, and suitable for anyone with just half a day’s worth of training. But wait – there’s more: The buyer will also get a fully-equipped RV camper, three cars, an array of workout gear, and a collection of musical instruments.
* Hope you like didgeridoos.
* He just wishes he could also unload his arthritis and hemorrhoids.
* If you take his in-laws, he’ll knock 100 grand off the price.
* You can’t take it with you, but you can sell it on eBay.
* Travel the world for 20 years on 2 million dollars. That will barely cover airport parking these days.

JAPAN AIRLINES WILL RENT YOU CLOTHES TO REDUCE BAGGAGE

Japan Airlines is testing a new service for their customers. Called “Any Wear, Anywhere,” it allows passengers traveling to Japan to rent clothes for their trip. Instead of dealing with a bulky suitcase, you can rent clothes that will be shipped to your hotel or BnB. The service offers clothing sets in various styles with prices starting at $28 for five items, and customers can use them for up two weeks. You would be charged for damaged and lost items, so you can’t just wear them and toss them. The clothing will be sourced from overstock and pre-owned apparel.
* So, thrift store clothes. Classy!
* Or – and here’s a crazy idea – OR…figure out a way to NOT lose our luggage or have your people steal stuff out of it. I know – crazy, right?
* I hear this program is a big hit among traveling sumo wrestlers – renting previously-worn diaper thingys.
* So I can NOT take the clothes I want, which lightens my load; the airline will use less fuel, saving them money, and I get to pay extra for that. How can this idea possibly fail?

TRENDING

AL ROKER HAS NEW GRANDAUGHTER

“Today” show weatherman Al Roker is a first-time grandfather. His daughter Courtney Roker Laga gave birth on Monday to a healthy baby girl that Courtney and her husband, Wes, named: Sky Clara Laga.
* If Al Roker was a sports reporter, would they have named her Gridiron?

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Kevin Hart (comedian, actor) … 44
50 Cent (rapper, real name Curtis Jackson) … 48
Geoffrey Rush (actor, “Pirates of the Caribbean,” “The King’s Speech”) … 72
George W. Bush (former U.S. President) … 77
Sylvester Stallone (actor, “Rocky”, “Rambo”) … 77
Burt Ward (actor, played Robin in “Batman” 1960s TV show) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“At the end of the day, women are a distraction. Whether you realize it or not.”

(A) Leonardo DiCaprio
(B) John Mayer
(C) Kevin Hart

ANSWER: (C) Kevin Hart

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – Actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in a residential substance-abuse program for violating her probation stemming from two separate 2007 cases of driving under the influence of cocaine and alcohol. She served 14 days behind bars.
* You may not think two weeks was much of a prison sentence, but remember – she had to be sober the whole time!

2000 – A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount.
* That was a twist they didn’t see coming.

1994 – The film “Forrest Gump” premiered in the United States. In the film, Forrest says the immortal line: “Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get.”
* Originally, the word “chocolates” was supposed to be “presidential candidates.”

1924 – The first international transmission of a photograph by radio was made across the Atlantic Ocean from the U.S. to England.
* Sending pictures by radio never caught on. Which is understandable, considering what most DJs look like.

1893 – Dr. Daniel Hale performed the first successful open heart surgery without anesthesia.
* Big deal. My high school girlfriend did the same thing to me.

1872 – The doughnut cutter was patented by John Blondel.
* He even received a police escort to the patent office.

1535 – Sir Thomas More was beheaded on Tower Hill in London on this day. He was a Catholic who refused to disown his religion, and was executed for treason.
* So, in one swing of an axe he went from Sir Thomas More to Sir Thomas Less.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Drake equaled Michael Jackson’s 1983 US chart record after he had the No.1 album and song on the American charts for seven consecutive weeks – “Views” and “One Dance.”

2012 – Carol Hawkins, the former personal assistant of U2 bassist Adam Clayton, was jailed for seven years for embezzling over $3 million of his money to fund a lavish lifestyle. Hawkins was convicted on 181 counts of theft from the bassist’s bank accounts over a four-year period. The judge said Hawkins’ crimes were “rooted in greed and nothing else.”

2007 – Britney Spears apologized for attacking a photographer’s car with an umbrella earlier in the year.

2005 – Grammy award winning rap star Lil’ Kim, who was convicted of perjury and conspiracy in March 2005, was sentenced to a year in jail for lying to a grand jury to protect friends. Kim told the court “I testified falsely to the grand jury and during the trial. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. Now I know it was wrong.” Lil’ Kim, (real name Kimberley Jones), was also fined $50,000. Charges were brought against her after a gunfight erupted outside a New York radio station in 2001 as a rival rap group was arriving.

1984 – The Jacksons began their Victory Tour in Kansas City, MO.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In a recent study, just over 75% of women under 24 said they do THIS. Just four years ago, 95% of women did it. What is it?
Shave their armpits

2. Recent data found that close to 20% of women have done THIS to make themselves look better. What is it?
Gotten a nose piercing

3. In a recent survey, 20% of women said they refuse to do THIS without makeup on. What is it?
Answer the door

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