THURSDAY, May 18 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, May 18, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL MUSEUM DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“This day was established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums. International Museum Day is a good opportunity to visit, appreciate, and support your local museum. The goals of International Museum Day are to give museum professionals the opportunity to meet the public, and to make the public aware of challenges faced by museums. Each year, a different theme is promoted. Ways to celebrate International Museum Day: Visit a museum; If you can’t visit today, learn a little more about your local museum; donate to a museum; volunteer to work at a museum.”

NATIONAL CHEESE SOUFFLE DAY

NO DIRTY DISHES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“No Dirty Dishes Day is a reprieve from the daily pile of dishes to wash and dry. Day after day, we do the daily chore of washing and drying dishes, then put them away in various cabinets and drawers. We perform this task after each and every meal, and often after snacks. Even putting them in and out of the dishwasher and running it, can be a chore. You deserve a break from this routine. And, today is that day. The objective of this day is to have no dirty dishes. It is not intended to pile them up until tomorrow. We can think of two ways to avoid dirty dishes today: Use disposable plates, cups and silverware for all meals and snacks; Take the family out to eat all three meals. Then for snack, go out for ice cream! We strongly recommend that you do not pile up the dishes to do tomorrow. This defeats the purpose of this very special day.”

VISIT YOUR RELATIVES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Visit Your Relatives Day encourages us to visit our relatives and loved ones. This day is intended to give us the opportunity to get closer to our relatives, and to build (or re-build) family ties and relationships. It’s easy to get out of touch with loved ones. We lead busy lives. A visit with the relative, is sometimes relegated to Christmas and a few other choice major holidays. If you can not visit your relatives today, we suggest you call them and/or send them a card. Both snail mail and online cards will do.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, May 18

“XO, Kitty”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Follows Kitty Covey as she moves to Seoul to attend the same boarding school her late mom went to. It doesn’t hurt that her long-distance boyfriend, Dae goes there, too. But when that relationship hits a snag, Kitty will have to figure out what she really wants. A spin-off from the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before films.

“Rainn Wilson and the Geography of Bliss”
Peacock – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Host Rainn Wilson traverses the globe searching for the secrets to the happiest societies on earth.

FRIDAY, May 19

“Primo”
Freevee – New Series
Synopsis: Follows Rafa Gonzales, a wide-eyed 16-year-old being raised by his clever mother, Drea, and his five overbearing uncles as they live their lives on the southside of San Antonio.

Season Premieres:
Apple TV+ – “Stillwater”
Netflix – “Selling Sunset”

RUBY SLIPPERS THIEF INDICTED

A man has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of stealing a pair of ruby red slippers worn by Judy Garland in “The Wizard of Oz.” The shoes were stolen in 2005. It was a pretty high-tech crime: someone climbed through a window and broke the display case. The shoes were recovered in a 2018 FBI sting operation, but no arrests were made at the time. But on Tuesday, Terry Martin was indicted for theft of a major artwork. Martin is 76 and lives 12 miles south of the Judy Garland Museum in Grand Rapids, Minnesota, where the theft took place. Garland wore several pairs of the ruby slippers during production of the 1939 musical, but only four authentic pairs remain. When they were stolen, the slippers were insured for $1 million but the current market value is about $3.5 million.
* Money spent on security at the museum: 50 bucks for the display case.
* They caught him red-footed!
* A guy who stole the ruby slippers – what a heel!
* This pair is unique because there are signs that Toto peed on them.
* There’s no place like jail for this guy.

START YOUR DAY WITH A HEARTY BOWL OF SNOOP

Snoop Dogg’s Snoop Cereal is coming to a Wal-Mart near you this July. Snoop cereal is little loops of Snoop – Snoop loops, as it were. Snoop put his name on the cereal along with Master P, who says, “Me and Snoop believed in putting out brands that could feed our culture and feed our people. I grew up eating cereal. We don’t all own brands like this. But we got to stop the self-hate amongst each other when we talk about African-American-owned brands and give us the opportunity to get on those shelves because Snoop Cereal is bigger. The brand is all about trying to tackle homelessness, give back to a community and a culture, and rebuild and put economic empowerment into our community.”
* Anything else while you’re at it? Will it help us get to Mars? Help Ukraine win against Russia? Cure toe fungus?
* That’s awesome, but I just want something to go with my banana.
* Do they go “Snap, Crackle, Pot”?
* Buy some Snoop Loops and fire up a bowl today!
* Snoop: a part of this bodacious breakfast.
* The ball’s in your court, Willie Nelson.

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “I’m A Doctor — This Is Why King Charles Has ‘Sausage Fingers’”
2. “I Don’t Use Toilet Paper Anymore — I Wipe With Leaves To Save Money”
3. “Why ‘Sports Illustrated’ Model Yumi Nu Likes To Buy Her Swiimsuits ‘Two Sizes Too Small'”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “How To Relax Like A Greenlander”

HOUSEMATES FROM HELL

From BuzzFeed, people describe their “Housemate From Hell”:
– “I had to teach her to clean a bathroom at 21 years old and then she said she wouldn’t clean it because the chemicals may hurt her skin. To solve this I bought her some rubber gloves and she decided she didn’t want to wear them because they made her hands smell funny.”
– “My housemate takes a two+ hour bath every night so the bathroom is out of bounds around the time I’d like to get ready to go to bed.”
– “I got on with my housemate so well, but the naked sleepwalking situation got too much.”
– “She just completely ignored my existence, we might pass by each other in the hall and she wouldn’t even say hi.”
– ” He was so lazy that instead of washing the cutting board he used to make sandwiches, he just flipped it over and it got stuck to the table.”
– “My roommate used to tip the toaster to the side and make cheese on toast. The grease from the cheese would break the toaster and then he refused to replace the three toasters he broke.”
– “She would wake up in the middle of the night and make real popcorn.”
– “I lived with someone who would empty the kitchen trash, but then just leave the full, tied-up trash bag on the kitchen floor and leave for work. I went away for a couple of weeks once and when I got back there were several full, stinking bin bags just piled up around the bin on the kitchen floor.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Your Housemate From Hell story.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN MARRIES HERSELF

An elderly Ohio woman recently married herself. Dorothy “Dottie” Fedeli, 77, wore a white dress and veil and decorated her walker for last Saturday’ event at the O’Bannon Terrace Retirement Home in Goshen, Ohio. Dottie, a mother of three, explained that she was previously married in a courthouse ceremony in 1965, but the union did not last. The reason she married herself? She said, “Because this is something I’ve always wanted. I wanted to get married and have a happy life but things didn’t work out that way and now I have a second chance in doing something that’ll make me happy.”
* And then the nurse came with her meds and things went back to normal.
* She tried carrying herself across the threshold to her room and broke a hip.
* Hopefully she won’t start feeling antsy and cheat on herself.
* The hardest part was keeping the engagement ring a secret until she proposed to herself.
* I could never marry myself. I couldn’t stand the nagging.

OSCAR MAYER RENAMING THE WIENERMOBILE, RUINING EVERYTHING

Oscar Mayer is changing the name of its famed Wienermobile. They now are going to call it the Frankmobile. There will be no change in appearance to the vehicle, other than a new decal on the vehicle’s side that says “Frankmobile” rather than “Wienermobile.” The Wienermobile dates back to 1936, when Carl Mayer came up with the idea for the vehicle as a marketing tool and told his Uncle Oscar. Oscar Mayer now has six of the vehicles, which travel across the United States to events including state fairs, grocery stores and sports contests to promote the brand. (* Promote the brand. Yet they don’t change it to Oscarmobile or Mayermobile. Morons.)
* Dick move, fellas.
* Oscar Mayer’s management is a bunch of wieners.
* That idea is the wurst. The WURST!! WUUUUURRRRRSSSSSTTTT!!!
* I’m never going to call it the Frankmobile. I’m going to keep calling it the Wienermobile. On that I will stand firm.
* How is Fox news going to spin this? Will it be good for the children to remove the phallic name, or will they blame this on wokeness because Oscar Mayer is afraid of offending people?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

ORCAS ATTACK SAILBOAT

A British couple, sailing on a 46-foot yacht in the Strait of Gibraltar (between Spain and Morocco) were attacked by a pod of killer whales. Janet Morris and Stephen Bidwell, of Cambridge, were enjoying the second day of a week-long sailing cruise when they felt a banging on the hull. Video of the incident shows the aggressive pod repeatedly swimming into the hull and rudder of the 46-foot yacht. The attack went on for an hour. The couple and the crew struggled to keep the whales at bay while also battling blustery winds and high swells. The orcas ultimately gave up the chase after about an hour, but the crew decided to return to shore because the boat’s steering was failing. On their return to port, they saw that the whales had taken chunks out of the rudder.
* Moby-Shamu.
* What was the problem? Were they sailing slow in the passing lane?
* Maybe the whales have just discovered the concept of “bathtub toys.”
* And here Sea World is working to return even more of these horrible death machines back into the ocean.
* Just one of the many reasons I haven’t bought a yacht.

TRENDING

AUDIO: MAN WHO CREATED THE SNL LAND SHARK PUPPET DEAD AT 87

America has lost another great icon. Ralph Lee, a puppeteer who built the Land Shark character on Saturday Night Live, has died at age 87. Born in 1936, Lee began making puppets during his childhood in Middlebury, Vermont. Yada yada yada… then in 1975, Lee used foam, cloth and rubber laminate to create the Land Shark puppet head, which made its televised debut in the “Jaws II” sketch on Nov. 8, 1975. Voiced by Chevy Chase, the land shark would masquerade as a repairman or door-to-door salesman, knocking on victims’ doors and attacking them when they opened the door. Rest in peace, Land Shark head man.
CLIP: First appearance of the Saturday Night Live land shark.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/SNL-LandSharkSketch_edit(dot)mp3

JASON MOMOA TO HOST SHARK WEEK

Aquaman has been announced as the host of this year’s Shark Week on the Discovery channel. — Jason Momoa, known for playing Aquaman, will host the 35th annual Shark Week, a weeklong programming block celebrating sharks. Momoa said in a statement. “This project means more to me than a week of talking about sharks. It’s a chance for me to learn and share my connection to these amazing creatures. My love of sharks came long before my time as Aquaman — it began several generations before me.”

TEN BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN THE U.S.

This week’s Ten Best Places To Live list comes from U.S. News and World Report. Factors in the calculations include affordability, quality of life, desirability and job market. The 10 Best Places to Live in the U.S. in 2023-2024:
1. Green Bay, Wisconsin
2. Huntsville, Alabama
3. Raleigh and Durham, North Carolina
4. Boulder, Colorado
5. Sarasota, Florida
6. Naples, Florida
7. Portland, Maine
8. Charlotte, North Carolina
9. Colorado Springs, Colorado
10. Fayetteville, Arkansas

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

David Nail (country singer) … 44
Tina Fey (comedian, actress, “30 Rock,” “SNL”) … 53
George Strait (country singer) … 71
Rick Wakeman (keyboard player w “Yes”) … 74
Reggie Jackson (Baseball Hall-of-Famer) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will.”

(A) Bill Cosby
(B) Kevin Spacey
(C) Tina Fey

ANSWER: (C) Tina Fey

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2014 – Russian President Putin signed a bill to absorb Crimea into the Russian Federation.
* There was also an amendment attached changing Putin’s first name to “Adolph.”

1998 – The U.S. federal government filed a sweeping antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the computer software company had a “choke hold” on competitors which denied consumer choices by controlling 90% of the software market.
* Then all their computers froze.

1980 – The Mt. St. Helens volcano blew up.
* It made it hard going for mountain climbers because they had to slog through all the ash. On the other hand, it’s much easier getting to the top since the top third of the mountain is no longer there.

1927 – Actress Norma Talmadge became the first celebrity to preserve her prints and signature in cement at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.
* Actually, she just slipped and fell in wet cement, and thought of the idea to save face.

1926 – Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time.
* He was the lucky tenth caller.

1910 – Halley’s Comet appeared, and many people panicked thinking the Earth would pass through the tail, killing millions.
* Unbelievable how ignorant some people are. Oh, speaking of space, stay tuned next for the daily horoscope report.

1830 – Edwin Budding of England patented the lawn mower.
* It ruined Saturdays, but it was faster than scissors.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – A sweater worn by Kurt Cobain during the singer’s last photoshoot with Nirvana sold for $75,000 at a New York auction. Also sold for $23,000 was Nirvana’s handwritten set list from an April 1990 concert in Washington, D.C., which Cobain wrote with black marker on a paper plate.

2011 – John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics for the 1967 Beatles song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” sold for $237,132 at an auction in the US. It was speculated the song was about the drug LSD, however, The Beatles denied this, with Lennon saying the inspiration had come from a picture his son Julian had drawn of a classmate named Lucy Vodden.

2000 – Madonna’s boyfriend Guy Ritchie was arrested after attacking a fan outside the superstar’s London home. Ritchie was said to have kicked and punched a male fan after the couple returned home from a night out.

1997 – Sir Paul McCartney took part in a question and answer session on the Internet. 2.6 million questions were sent in.

1990 – An American photographer filed a complaint against Wham! after claiming the duo “roughed him up” when he tried to take their pictures.

1987 – Religious officials declared that Michael Jackson was no longer a member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

1976 – Keith Richards crashed his car in Newton Pagnell, England, but escaped with minor injuries.

1966 – Bruce Springsteen, at age 16, began his songwriting career in the back of a ’61 Mercury en route to a recording studio. He and George Theiss, the lead singer in Bruce’s first band, the Castiles, co-wrote “That’s What You Get” and “Baby I.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. On average, you’ll live 9 years less if you’re THIS kind of person. What is it?
Left-handed

2. People with THESE live longer than those without. What are they?
Pets

3. People who did THIS live longer than those who didn’t. What is it?
Graduate from college

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