THURSDAY, Apr 6 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, April 6, 2023
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: EASTER SONG – WE GOT THE PEEPS; BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ARMY DAY
The AFD website says this:
“Army Day was established as a nationwide observance to draw public attention to national defense and to acquaint the public with Army activities. On March 1, 1937, Congress officially recognized April 6 as Army Day as proposed by President Roosevelt. The day was also used to stress the need for military preparedness, which the nation had lacked when it entered earlier major conflicts.”

NATIONAL BURRITO DAY

NATIONAL CARAMEL POPCORN DAY

NATIONAL TARTAN DAY
The Time And Date website says this:
“National Tartan Day is annually observed on April 6 to honor the major role that Scottish Americans played in the founding of the United States of America.”

PLAN YOUR EPITAPH DAY

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, Apr 6

“Celebrity Prank Wars”
E! – New Celebrity Reality Show
Synopsis: Kevin Hart and Nick Cannon help celebrities like Taraji P. Henson, Joel McHale and more pull off ultimate pranks on each other.

“Beef”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: The lives of a troubled contractor and a seemingly-has-it-all entrepreneur collide when they get into a road rage incident.

“Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies”
Paramount+ – New Series
Synopsis: In this musical series which takes place four years before the events of “Grease,” four fed-up outcasts dare to have fun on their own terms, sparking a moral panic that will change Rydell High forever.

Season Premiere:
E! – “Celebrity Game Face”

FRIDAY, Apr 7

“Jury Duty”
Amazon Freevee – New “Reality” Series
Synopsis: An entirely staged instance of jury duty is fake to everyone but one guy, who’s determined to try his best to do our legal system justice. Everyone else is an actor — including the judge, lawyers, and jury members.

Amazon Prime Video
“On a Wing and a Prayer”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: Dennis Quaid stars in this made-for-streaming based-on-a-true-story film about a man who had to land a plane with his family on board after the pilot became incapacitated.

“Boom! Boom! The World vs. Boris Becker”
Apple TV+ – New Documentary
Synopsis: An inside look at the controversial life and career of tennis great Boris Becker.

“The Legacy of J Dilla”
FX – New Documentary
Synopsis: A special feature about the prolific musician, producer, and visionary.

“Tiny Beautiful Things”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: The story of a writer whose life is in flux as she looks back on her younger years to remember the person she wanted to be.

“Chupa”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: A boy on a family trip to Mexico discovers a young chupacabra hiding in his grandfather’s shed.

“Transatlantic”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Story of an American heiress and a journalist who risked their lives to help thousands of refugees escape Nazi-occupied France during World War II.

Season Premieres:
Discovery – “Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail”
Apple TV+ – “Schmigadoon!”

SATURDAY, Apr 8

“The Portable Door”
MGM+ – New Movie
Synopsis: A man lands an internship at a mysterious London firm with unconventional employees, including the charismatic CEO who is incorporating modern corporate strategy into ancient magical practices.

“Hunger”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: A talented young street-food cook pushes herself to the limit after accepting an invitation to train under an infamous and ruthless chef.

SUNDAY, Apr 9

“Catching Lightning”
Showtime – New Series
Synopsis: “Lightning” Lee Murray brawled his way from the mean streets of south London all the way to the UFC – and then nearly pulled off one of the largest bank robberies in history.

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Six Ways Your Sandwich Is Trying To Kill You”
2. “My Hunt For The Perfect Travel And Toiletry Bag Combo”
3. “The Way Bella Ramsey Eats Cereal Is Going Viral For All The Wrong Reasons”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “I’m Attracted To, And In A Committed Relationship With, Balloons”

NEW FOOD AT THE BALLPARK

Each year, Major League ballparks bring out new foods to draw spectators to the park. Here are some new ballpark foods you can finance — er, buy, in 2023.
– Avocado Fries (at Fenway Park, Boston Red Sox) – slices of avocado, breaded and fried, served with green goddess dressing.
– Mangonada (at Guaranteed Rate Field, Chicago White Sox) – A frozen cup of mango sorbet, topped with chopped mangoes, drenched in Chamoy sauce, which is made from dried chilies, lime juice, and fruit.
– Pork Belly Tacos (at Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City Royals) – tacos containing pork belly, anise pickled carrots, crumbled queso fresco, mint, arugula, and chimichurri sauce on soft shell tacos.
– Strawberry Churro Shortcake (at Alameda County Coliseum, Oakland Athletics) – a strawberry shortcake parfait topped with cinnamon churro chunks, strawberry pieces, chocolate sauce, and whipped chocolate.
– Pickle Curds (at PNC Park, Pittsburgh Pirates) – fried cheese curds topped with sweet pickles and dill ranch.
– Peach Chimmies (at Coors Field, Colorado Rockies) – fried flour tortillas filled with whipped cream cheese and sliced peaches tossed in a cinnamon sugar mix; the whole dish is topped with caramel syrup and whipped cream.
* How did we get through that entire list without the word “bacon”? I just don’t know this country anymore.
* If the sodium in the hotdogs and nachos doesn’t get you, the diabetes will.
* “Pickle curds” sounds like a condition you’d go see Dr. Pimple Popper about.
* ♪♫ Bloat me up at the ball game / Fill me up with your chow… ♫♫
* ♪♪ You’ll gain Three! Four! Five! extra pounds / At the old ball game! ♫ ♪

U.S. NEWS

STORE CLERK CONKED WITH FROZEN FISH

A Warren, Michigan man has been arrested for allegedly assaulting a grocery store clerk with a 4-pound frozen fish. The incident occurred Sunday around 7:13 p.m. local time. After the fish counter clerk informed the man that the counter had closed at 7 p.m. due to the Ramadan holiday, the suspect allegedly became angry and assaulted the clerk on the head with a 4-pound frozen hilsa fish, a type of herring. The 60-year-old suspect was charged with one count of aggravated assault.
* What a crab.
* He’ll probably skate.
* Too cheap to just go to Red Lobster?
* “I told you, we’re closed! What are you, hard of herring?” “No, but you are!” BONK!
* This is why you need to build up your mussels.
* I bet the poor clerk had quite the HADDOCK. Yessir, quite… the… HADDOCK.

WHEEL OF FLORIDA MAN CONTEST: MAN PULLS MACHETE WHEN DENIED KARAOKE SONG

The Contest: Have listeners fill in the blank:
“A Florida Man pulled out a machete after he was denied _________.”
The story:
A Florida Man on Sunday pulled an 18-inch machete at a bar after being denied another karaoke song. Deputies said Travis Jordan, 39, was at Kennedy’s Lamp Post Tavern in Cape Canaveral. A witness said Jordan pulled out the machete, which was concealed on his body, after they wouldn’t let him sing another karaoke song. A member of the bar staff grabbed the weapon and called law enforcement. Police say Jordan was unsteady on his feet with bloodshot and glassy eyes, smelling strongly of alcohol.
* Don’t tell me – the song he did sing was “Sharp-Dressed Man,” right?
* Just another musical hack.
* If you’re doing karaoke, always stick with the hits. Never go for the deep cuts.
* “Uhhh, you’re a little sharp there, Travis.”
* I guess his samurai sword was out being cleaned.
CLIP: The “Wheel of Florida Man” sounder.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/WheelOfFloridaMan-Intro(dot)mp3

ELON MUSK STARLINK SATELLITES STARTING TO FALL

Last month, it was noticed by watchers of the skies that the recently-launched batch of satellites from Elon Musk’s SpaceX company were slowly falling. In fact, one Starlink satellite reentered Earth’s atmosphere on Monday at 1:50 a.m. local time off the coast of California. The satellite very likely burned up during its reentry. SpaceX launched 21 Starlink satellites on board a Falcon 9 rocket on February 27. The satellites are miniaturized versions of the company’s full-sized Starlinks, meant to fill the gap for the increasing demand of the Starlink system until the company is able to build a bigger rocket that can carry the full-sized satellites. As for the falling satellites, Elon Musk took to Twitter to clarify that the satellites were “experiencing some issues” and that some of them will be “de-orbited” while others will have their orbit raised.
* “Aw, crap, we forgot about gravity! Dang it!”
* The satellites are “de-orbiting.” Y’know, like when the Titanic “un-floated.”
* They’re “experiencing some issues.” Like what happened to the Hindenburg.
* Did Elon Musk ever ask anybody if he could put all that junk into space? Can anybody just do that?
* Teslas, tunnel digging, rockets, Twitter, satellites… this guy has the attention span of a squirrel.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

THE SUBWAY CADBURY CREAM EGG SANDWICH

The Subway sandwich chain in England has created a new sandwich just in time for Easter: The Subway Cadbury Creme Egg Sandwich. It’s nothing but several Cadbury Creme Eggs, smashed up and melted inside a 6-inch sandwich roll, so all that mystery white and yellow cream comes dripping out. Only 500 of the special sandwiches will be made, and they will be available this Friday only — for free, by the way — at just a four select Subway locations: at Tottenham Court Road, central London; Central Shopping Centre, Liverpool; Llansamlet Service Station, Swansea and Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow.
* Subway: Eat Mush.
* Chocolate on bread. Good effort, everybody! Take the month off.
* British cuisine: From the people who brought you jellied eels, pond pudding and haggis.
* An American Easter sandwich would slap a Creme Egg between two marshmallow Peeps, put that between two Graham crackers and broil it for 90 seconds. There – was that so hard? Call my patent attorney.

HOMEOWNER BEATS UP DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMAN

A Welshman was sentenced to 21 months in prison for beating up a door-to-door salesman. Prosecutors say Andrew Lester, 39, of Abertillery, Wales, flew into a rage after getting fed up with local children knocking on his door and running away. He was so wound up, he lashed out when a door-to-door salesman “knocked too hard” on his front door last June. Mr. Lester swore at him, broke his sunglasses, punched him, knocked him to the ground and stood over him, shouting. The salesman, Kerry Hagerty, who was offering debt management plans, suffered a dislocated shoulder in the attack.
* Door-to-door debt management sales? Kids pulling a ding-dong dash? What century is it in Wales?
* Debt management plans? Too bad he wasn’t selling ANGER management plans.
* How much you wanna bet Kerry Hagerty switches to selling by phone?
* Either my house is on fire or you’re selling Thin Mints. Other than that, don’t come knocking.
* This is why you should live in a treehouse.

MAN CAUGHT SELLING FAKE LPs

A British man was found guilty of selling counterfeit vinyl records. An investigation into Richard Hutter of Hampshire, England, found that he had been selling thousands of counterfeit records to rock and pop fans over a six-year period. He was found out when a Clash fan demanded his money back because of the poor sound quality on the record he had bought online. When the refund was refused, the customer complained to the trading standards office. Investigators bought two sample records from Hutter – Appetite for Destruction by Guns N’ Roses and Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. Both turned out to be fakes. Investigators discovered he had almost 1,200 unofficial vinyl records for sale on eBay, albums from bands ranging from the Beatles to Pink Floyd, Nirvana and Amy Winehouse. Hutter was ordered to do 250 hours community service.
* Fake vinyl records? What century is it in England?
* The judge should have given him 33-1/3 months in the slammer.
* His ripped-off fans want him to sit on it and spin.
* Did he have a vinyl pressing plant in his basement? Was he etching the grooves by hand? How did this work?
* Now we need to crack down on fake cassette tapes.

TRENDING

MTV MOVIE & TV AWARDS NOMINATIONS

The MTV Movie and TV Award nominations were announced Wednesday. Here are the main categories:

BEST MOVIE: Avatar: The Way of Water; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Elvis; Nope; Scream VI; Smile; Top Gun: Maverick

BEST TV SHOW: Stranger Things; The Last of Us; The White Lotus; Wednesday; Wolf Pack; Yellowstone; Yellowjackets

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A MOVIE: Austin Butler — Elvis; Florence Pugh — Don’t Worry Darling; KeKe Palmer — Nope; Michael B. Jordan — Creed III; Tom Cruise — Top Gun: Maverick

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A SHOW: Aubrey Plaza — The White Lotus; Christina Ricci — Yellowjackets; Jenna Ortega — Wednesday; Riley Keough — Daisy Jones & The Six; Sadie Sink — Stranger Things; Selena Gomez — Only Murders in the Building

BEST HERO: Diego Luna —Andor; Jenna Ortega — Wednesday; Paul Rudd — Ant-Man & The Wasp Quantumania; Pedro Pascal — The Last Of Us; Tom Cruise — Top Gun: Maverick

BEST VILLAIN: Elizabeth Olsen — Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness; Harry Styles – Don’t Worry Darling; Jamie Campbell Bower — Stranger Things; M3GAN – M3GAN; The Bear — Cocaine Bear

BEST KISS: Anna Torv + Philip Prajoux – The Last Of Us; Harry Styles + David Dawson – My Policeman; Madison Bailey + Rudy Pankow – Outer Banks; Riley Keough + Sam Claflin – Daisy Jones & The Six; Selena Gomez + Cara Delevingne – Only Murders in the Building

BEST FIGHT: Brad Pitt vs. Bad Bunny – Bullet Train; Courteney Cox vs. Ghostface – Scream VI; Jamie Campbell Bower vs. Millie Bobby Brown– Stranger Things; Keanu Reeves vs. Everyone – John Wick 4;

MOST FRIGHTENED PERFORMANCE: Jennifer Coolidge – The White Lotus; Jesse Tyler Ferguson – Cocaine Bear; Justin Long – Barbarian; Rachel Sennott – Bodies Bodies Bodies; Sosie Bacon – Smile

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Zach Braff (actor, “Undateable,” “Scrubs”) … 48
Paul Rudd (actor, “Ant-Man,” “Parks and Recreation”) … 54
John Ratzenberger (actor, “Poker Face,” mail carrier Cliff on “Cheers,” voice actor) … 76
Billy Dee Williams (actor) … 86

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“… Going back … when you watched an NBC show you knew it was going to be a certain quality. CBS had a certain quality. You had your favorite network and you could rely on that network for a certain standard, but now there are no standards. What we’ve done is lower the standard of what’s acceptable.”

(A) Seth MacFarlane
(B) Amy Schumer
(C) John Ratzenberger

ANSWER: (C) John Ratzenberger

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2016 – France passed legislation making it illegal to pay for sex.
* Can you barter?

1999 – Carmen Electra filed for divorce from Dennis Rodman. They had only been married six months.
* This wasn’t a marriage made in Heaven – it was a marriage made in the Twilight Zone.

1992 – Public voting began on a choice of Elvis postage stamps. People were asked to pick between Elvis in the 50s and Elvis in the 70s.
* They chose the 50s Elvis ’cause with the 70s Elvis, the stamp would have been bigger than the envelope.

1980 – The Post-It note went on sale for the first time.
* And the bottom fell out of the paper clip market.

1954 – The TV Dinner was first put on sale by Swanson & Sons.
* It featured Salisbury steak, green beans, and a couch potato.

1938 – Roy Plunkett invented Teflon.
* His only problem was getting the price labels to stay on his product.

1930 – Hostess Twinkies were invented by bakery executive James Dewar.
* So along with TV Dinners, this was a big, big day for nutrition.

1928 – The Italian government banned handshaking on the grounds that it was unhygienic.
* People sure looked silly giving each other “air kisses.”

1909 – Admiral Robert Perry and Matthew Henson claimed to be the first men to reach the North Pole.
* So … why no pictures of Santa Claus?

1889 – George Eastman’s Kodak camera went on sale for the first time.
* He was hoping a fortune would develop.

1830 – The multi-marriage Mormon church was founded.
* Having time for more than one wife seems unworkable ’til you remember they had no television back then.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2006 – Eminem filed for divorce from his wife Kim less than three months after the couple re-married.

2003 – Linkin Park started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Meteora.”

2000 – An all-star tribute to Joni Mitchell was held in New York featuring performances by Elton John, Bryan Adams, Shawn Colvin, James Taylor, Cyndi Lauper, Richard Thompson, k.d. Lang, and Mary Chapin Carpenter.

1999 – An all-star tribute to singer Johnny Cash took place in New York. Sheryl Crow, Chris Isaak and U2 all performed for the TV special.

1998 – Wendy O. Williams, former singer of The Plasmatics, died from self-inflicted gunshot wounds.

1979 – Rod Stewart married actor George Hamilton’s ex-wife Alana Hamilton in Beverly Hills.

1974 – Swedish act Blue Swede went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Hooked On A Feeling.”

1971 – Carly Simon was introduced to James Taylor after her show at the Troubadour in Los Angeles. The couple married in November of 1972.

1971 – The Rolling Stones launched their own record label, “Rolling Stones Records.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a new survey, almost 55% of people say they don’t like doing THIS at home. What is it?
Answer when someone rings the doorbell

2. A new study says that the smarter you are, the more likely you are to do THIS at home. What is it?
Walk around the house naked

3. According to surveys, when people visit your home, more than half of them will judge you by THIS. What is it?
The contents of your fridge

(c) 2023
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111