WEDNESDAY, Aug 24 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 24, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Junkers; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL STRANGE MUSIC DAY
The Days of the Year website says this:
“International Strange Music Day was created by Patrick Grant, a New York City musician. The premise is simple: to get people to play and listen to types of music they have never experienced before. The ‘strange’ part can mean either unfamiliar or bizarre – the choice is entirely yours. Patrick believes broadening people’s musical spectrums can also change the way we look at other aspects of life – his mantra is ‘listening without prejudice.’”

NATIONAL PEACH PIE DAY

NATIONAL WAFFLE DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

RICHARD SIMMONS’ DISAPPEARANCE: IT’S THE KNEES

Ever since 2014, many people – well, 8 maybe – have wondered what ever happened to exercise guru Richard Simmons? He withdrew from public life, retreated to his house, and has not been seen since. According to a new Fox documentary, there’s a simple reason: bad knees. The show claims that back in 2014, around the time he disappeared, Simmons had “two bad knees.” His operation on the right knee was so painful that he allegedly was delaying the left knee replacement: “And if he didn’t get one, he might never be able to exercise again. The prospect of surgery, of becoming sedentary, caused Richard to sink into a deep depression.” The show claims Richard still hasn’t gotten corrective surgery on his left knee. He walks with a cane and that explains a lot. He wanted to be remembered as a vibrant, healthy man, the documentary claims, not an elderly man with medical problems. Simmons “doesn’t want to be remembered as this frail, old guy. He wants to be remembered as a guy that millions of people loved and watched.” What’s more, it claims Simmons has cleverly figured out ways to live in plain sight: “Richard is a master of disguise.”
* He can change his appearance to look like seven different people, all with canes.
* There’s Charlie Chaplin’s Little Tramp, Willy Wonka, Dr. House …
* We knew it was over when he had a garage sale to get rid of 2500 pairs of candy-striped polyester shorts.
* I can’t believe the guy who created “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” would pass up an opportunity to do “Rehabbin’ to the Oldies.”
* Sorry about the spoilers, for you people planning to watch the documentary. Was anybody planning to watch? Hello? Anybody?
* If you think the problem is his knees, you don’t know squat.

THE BUZZ

STUDY: A BAD NIGHT’S SLEEP MAKES YOU LESS CHARITABLE

A new study claims that having a bad night of sleep affects how supportive and charitable you are. Researchers from UC Berkeley have discovered that even an hour of sleep deprivation causes people to withdraw from helping others. They found that people are less likely to donate to charity after losing an hour of sleep due to Daylight Saving Time.
– Researchers gave an “altruism questionnaire” to assess a group of participants’ willingness to help others after a normal night of sleep and after a night of bad sleep. They monitored the subjects’ sleep patterns. They found that sleep deprivation dampens activity in the social cognition brain network. This disruption displayed a connection to the participants admitting that they had less desire to help others.
– In addition, the study also found that charitable donations dropped off by 10 percent after Daylight Saving Time.
* Have we really run out of things to study? This is the best they could do?
* If I was feeling charitable I’d give them a pass on this nonsense, but I was tossing and turning ’til 2 a.m.
* This must be why rich people always say they only get 3 hours of sleep a night. ‘Cause they’re sure not giving their money away.
* It’s true. We never get any sleep, and when was the last time any of us (your morning team) brought in a box of donuts?

U.S. NEWS

ACE HARDWARE STORE CAT KIDNAPPED

The Granby, Colorado Police Department is looking for the people who stole Morris, an orange cat belonging to the local Ace Hardware store last week. It all went down the afternoon of August 18. Ace Hardware said Morris was doing his daily stroll out in the parking lot at 9 a.m. – as he does – when he was kidnapped. Security cameras show two people in a blue SUV grab the cat from the parking lot and drive off. It’s believed the couple may have thought that he was a stray. Store owner Amy Kaplanis says people would come into the store looking specifically for Morris. She says the cat was a beloved member of the staff, so please bring Morris back. No questions asked.
* They say please hurry, it’s very hard to find another cat to cover Morris’ shift.
* The people in the SUV were taking a break from stealing Amazon packages from porches.
* The store says they’ll gladly trade him for Ernie, the guy in the sprinkler section who’s a real screw-up.
* The police have put out an A.P.B. – an All Pussies Bulletin.
* They would have put a tag on him, but at Ace they cost $12.

MAN USES HOT DOG FOR A BEER STRAW

A New York Yankees fan was filmed performing an unnatural act with a hot dog at a recent ball game. The guy takes a plastic drinking straw and reams out a hole in the hot dog lengthwise. Then, with the hot dog hollowed out, he drops it in his beer and uses the hot dog as a straw to suck up his beer.
* What do you think? More “American exceptionalism”?
* This is wrong on so many levels. Including what looks like the lower level of Yankee Stadium.
* Really, it’s the placement of the sauerkraut that’s so disturbing.
* Even Joey Chestnut is going, “Dude – no!”
* And don’t even ask when he does with fried pickles and onion rings.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FINLAND PRIME MINISTER APOLOGIZES FOR PHOTO OF TOPLESS KISSING WOMEN

The Prime Minister of Finland, Sanna Marin, has apologized after a photo emerged of two topless women kissing at her summer house. Being one of the youngest world leaders at 36, Prime Minister Marin is fighting off claims from opponents she is “immature” and not in full control of running the country. She was filmed dancing at a party, and some called her behavior “inappropriate” and demanded she take a drug test, which she did. It came back negative. But then a photo circulated on social media showing two well-known influencers sharing a kiss while covering their bare chests with a “Finland” sign taken from the palace at Kesäranta, the prime minister’s taxpayer-funded seaside residence in Helsinki. Marin confirmed the photo was taken during a private party with friends after a music festival in July. She said: “We had a sauna, swam and spent time together. In my opinion, the picture is not appropriate. I apologize for it.”
* And here we are stuck with this stupid “top secret documents” story every day.
* Well, the Finns ARE good at hockey. Even tonsil hockey.
* Look, it’s Finland. People have to find SOMETHING to do that’s fun.
* The right move now would be for her to buy a cute little puppy, and post LOTS of pictures.
* Some say this is why women should never be political leaders. I say, this is EXACTLY WHY they should be.

TRENDING

BEN SAVAGE RUNNING FOR POLITICAL OFFICE

Actor Ben Savage, star of former ABC sitcom “Boy Meets World,” is running for West Hollywood, California, city council. The actor has a campaign website up where he notes that he has lived in West Hollywood for 18 years. He says, “I have seen this city grow to become one of the most thriving cities in the country – with extraordinary restaurants, hotels, nightlife and culture. In recent years, however, people have become disappointed with the direction the city is heading. Residents and community leaders have expressed frustration with the political divisiveness and loss of a sense of community. People are eager for leaders who can talk to each other, build coalitions, work together on common sense policies and put the interests of the city and residents above their own. Together we can do better.” Savage portrayed Cory Matthews on “Boy Meets World” from 1993-2000 and its spinoff “Girl Meets World” from 2014-2017. In between, he graduated with a degree in Political Science from Stanford University.

THE MOST POPULAR DOGS / DOG NAMES

The most popular dog names in the United States and Canada have been released. This is according to pet insurance company Trupanion who said it checked its “database of more than 740,000 insured pets.” Then, it ranked the names that were most often given to dogs:
1. Luna
2. Charlie
3. Bella
4. Daisy
5. Milo

Also according to Trupanion, here are the Five Most Popular Dog Breeds:
1. Labrador Retriever
2. Goldendoodle
3. Golden Retriever
4. French Bulldog
5. Labradoodle

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 16, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT
Oct. 10, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Sunday – National Boss Day
Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Rupert Grint (actor, “Servant,” Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films) … 34
Alex O’Loughlin (actor, “Hawaii Five-0”) … 46
Dave Chappelle (comedian, actor, “Chappelle’s Show”) … 49
Marlee Matlin (actress, well-known also for being deaf) … 57
Craig Kilborn (former host of “The Daily Show” and “The Late Late Show”) … 60
Cal Ripkin, Jr. (MLB legend) … 62
Steve Guttenberg (actor, “Veronica Mars,” “Police Academy”) … 64
Stephen Fry (actor, author) … 65
Mike DeRosier (drummer with Heart) … 71

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.”

(A) Eminem
(B) Vanilla Ice
(C) Dave Chappelle

ANSWER: (C) Dave Chappelle

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – The first case of a person being re-infected with COVID-19 a second time was documented when a Hong Kong man tested as positive four months after his first infection.

2015 – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced that for the 1st time, 1 billion people logged into Facebook.
* No WONDER my internet was slow that day!

2007 -The NFL indefinitely suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick without pay for his involvement in dogfighting. (He was reinstated in July 2009 after serving 18 months in prison.)
* Rough!

2006 – The International Astronomical Union declared that Pluto was no longer a planet, demoting it to the status of a “dwarf planet.”
* The proper term is “little person planet.”

1989 – Baseball Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti banned Pete Rose from the game for gambling.
* Pete’s response: “How much you wanna bet I’ll be back?”

1932 – Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly nonstop across the United States, traveling from Los Angeles to Newark, N.J., in just over 19 hours.
* And she should have stuck with domestic flights.

1891 – Thomas Edison patented the motion picture camera.
* A giant leap forward for porno.

1853 – Chef George Crum of Saratoga Springs prepared the first of what were to be called “potato chips.”
* Soon afterwards, folks came up with a name for another new thing – the “lard butt.”

1814 – British forces captured Washington, DC and set the White House on fire.
* There have been no fires since, though Bill Clinton suffered his fair share of carpet burns.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2021 – Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts died at a London hospital at the age of 80. In January 1963, he joined the Rolling Stones as drummer and remained with the group for 58 years.

2014 – Death Row Records founder Marion ‘Suge’ Knight was injured in a shooting at a party that Chris Brown was hosting in Los Angeles. Another man and a woman were also shot at the 1 Oak nightclub, West Hollywood. All three victims were treated at local hospitals.

2010 – George Michael pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs. The singer had been arrested in July when he was returning home from the London Gay Pride parade and crashed his car into the front of a store in North London.

2009 – The Los Angeles County Coroner ruled Michael Jackson’s death a homicide caused by a mix of drugs meant to treat insomnia. On February 8, 2010, Dr. Conrad Murray was charged with involuntary manslaughter by prosecutors in Los Angeles. Dr. Murray pleaded not guilty and was released after posting $75,000 bail, but would be found guilty in November, 2011 and was sentenced to four years in a Los Angeles County jail.

2005 – Justin Timberlake collected libel damages for a fabricated story that he had an affair behind girlfriend Cameron Diaz’s back. Timberlake donated the “substantial” damages paid by a newspaper to charity.

2004 – Al Dvorin, the announcer who popularised the phrase “Elvis has left the building”, died in a car crash, on his way home from an Elvis convention in California. Dvorin, 81, was in a car driven by Elvis photographer Ed Bonja. Dvorin was never paid for recordings of his words, and was bitter towards the multimillion-dollar Elvis Presley Enterprises. In the early 1970s, Colonel Parker asked Dvorin to inform fans at a gig that Presley would not be appearing for an encore. He took the stage and announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building. Thank you and goodnight.”

1990 – A Nevada judge cleared heavy metal group Judas Priest in a $6.2 million civil suit that charged subliminal suggestions on the group’s recordings provoked two youths to shoot themselves in 1985.

1985 – Huey Lewis and the News started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “The Power Of Love” from the movie “Back To The Future”.

1983 – The fifth wife of Jerry Lee Lewis, Shawn Michelle Stevens, was found dead at their Mississippi home of a methadone overdose.

1977 – Singer, songwriter Waylon Jennings was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine. Jennings had recently been named an honorary police chief.

1973 – Tom Johnson of the Doobie Brothers was arrested in Visalia, CA, on charges of marijuana possession.

1967 – 17-year-old Bruce Springsteen joined a group called Earth.

1963 – Stevie Wonder became the first artist ever to score a U.S. No.1 album and single in the same week. Wonder was at No.1 on the album chart with “Little Stevie Wonder / The 12 Year Old Genius” and had the No.1 single “Fingertips part 2”. This was also the first ever live recording to make No.1.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 1 in 6 married men do not know THIS. What is it?
Their wife’s weight

2. 31% of married men say they have never done THIS. What it is?
Sent their wife flowers

3. Married men are 7 times more likely to do THIS than single men. What is it?
Follow the speed limit

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