WEDNESDAY, July 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, July 20, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Minutes From Anywhere; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

FORTUNE COOKIE DAY

MOON DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Moon Day commemorates the day a human first walked on the moon in 1969. The Apollo Space program, begun by President John F. Kennedy, was created to put the first man on the moon. Apollo 11 fulfilled that dream, carrying astronauts Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Edwin Aldrin, Jr. What an amazing and historic event it was! On July 16, 1969, Apollo 11 was launched from Cape Kennedy Space Center atop a huge Saturn V rocket. On July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module, nicknamed the ‘Eagle,’ touched down on the surface of the moon at Tranquility Base. Upon landing, Apollo 11 Commander Neil Armstrong reported ‘The Eagle Has Landed.’ A few hours later, Neil Armstrong stepped off of the Eagle’s ladder, placed one foot upon the moon’s surface and proclaimed: ‘That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.'” (He meant to say “a man”, but it doesn’t sound like he did.)

NATIONAL HOT DOG DAY – Third Wednesday in July

NATIONAL ICE CREAM SODA DAY

NATIONAL LOLLIPOP DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Lollipop Day is our chance to celebrate and enjoy the creation of lollipops. Could you imagine how sheltered our childhood, and perhaps adulthood, would be, if the lollipop had never been invented!? It sure would be a duller, and less tasteful world. The Origin of National Lollipop Day: George Smith, owner of Bradley Smith Company, invented and patented the lollipop in 1908. Legend has it, that George named the lollipop after his favorite racehorse. The Racine Confectioner’s Machinery Company claims to have created National Lollipop Day. There is a little controversy as to who first created the automated lollipop machine. The Racine Confectioner’s Machinery Company claims to be the first to create a machine to automatically make lollipops. Their machine made 40 lollipops at a time. Sam Born of California also claims to have created the first automated lollipop machine, in 1916. It was called the ‘Born Sucker Machine.'”

UGLY TRUCK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Beyond a doubt, Ugly Truck Day is a ‘guy thing.’ Every guy can appreciate the importance of this day. Not to be left out, a fair number of the ladies appreciate (their) ugly truck, too! Ugly trucks are loved and cherished by their owners. Pick-Up Truck Trivia: Do you know the most popular state for pick-up trucks? If you guessed Texas, you are right! Sure, a brand new, shiny truck with all of the gadgets and features still working, is a great thing. But, an old, ugly truck is something to cherish with pride. It has character that a new truck sorely lacks. It has a long history of dents, bangs, and scratches, each with their own tale of how it was proudly earned. Most guys can tell you exactly how and where every dent and scratch occurred, making your ugly truck a walking history book. On Ugly Truck Day, go out and take a drive around with a big, broad smile on your face. You can, and should, hold an Ugly Truck contest today. But, whatever you do, don’t wash or wax your truck today!”

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

COLLEGE COURSE ON HARRY STYLES

Texas State University has announced it will offer a course on the work of Harry Styles. The honors course, titled ‘Harry Styles And The Cult Of Celebrity: Identity, The Internet And European Pop Culture,’ will start in Spring 2023. Course teacher Dr. Louie Dean Valencia wrote: “It’s official, official. I’m teaching the world’s first ever university course on the work of Harry Styles. This course focuses on British musician Harry Styles and popular European culture to understand the cultural and political development of the modern celebrity as related to questions of gender and sexuality, race, class, nation and globalism, media, fashion, fan culture, internet culture and consumerism.”
* He actually sounds proud of this.
* Texas is the state with the most cattle, and so, also the most BS.
* You can see, obviously, how this instruction will come in handy in whatever future career your life take you.
* Imagine a college course where the required reading is People magazine.
* For the final, whoever can get the professor Harry Styles concert tickets closest to the stage gets an A.

THE BUZZ

AUDIO: HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE SEEM LIKE A FANCY HOTEL

Huffington Post asked interior designers, as well as hotel experts, to share their tips for making your home feel like a fancy hotel. Here they are:
– Establish a scent: “Luxury hotels have a recognizable aroma. This evokes a sense of calm and feels very inviting for travelers.” (* Oh, my house has a scent, alright. Somewhere between roasted garlic and sweaty Nikes.)
– Invest in your bed: “Buy the best bedding you can afford. Luxury bedding comes in a range of price points and will provide you with a five-star slumber.” (* …that you’ll never notice because you’ll be asleep.) Your bed should be extra-deep with a 12-inch mattress. Dress the bed beautifully with lovely toppers and six to eight pillows. (* … that you’ll have to throw on the floor every time you want to lay down.) And don’t forget to make your bed in the morning. (* Whoops! Time to pick up those pillows and put them on the bed again!)
– Use warm lighting: “Look into adding interesting lamps, chandeliers, sconces and more. Put dimmers on everything. Put blackout shades or draperies on your windows.”
– Create a nice bar space: “If not a full bar setup, it could be a decorative bar cart stocked with beautiful glassware and a bowl of fresh citrus.”
– Create a spa-like bathroom environment: “Install an oversized bathtub with intricate tiling or even just plush towels and a bathrobe. Put up decorative mirrors to add even more luxuriousness to your space. Invest in pleasant smelling hand soaps, diffusers, candles, bath salts… anything that enriches the sensory experience in your home.” (* And by all means, an exhaust fan for the toilet.)
– Incorporate conveniences: “Always have a charging station ready for your electronics, a water glass situated next to the bed and a lamp switch in arm’s reach.”
– Bring in plants and fresh florals. (* And don’t forget the gummies and edibles.)
– Focus on nice presentation: “Add a ceramic Q-tip holder, place your soap on a nice teak tray, invest in tissue covers, soap pumps and toothbrush holders.” (* This one came from Bed, Bath & Beyond.)
* Buy some memorable statement art. (* Nail it to the wall so no one steals it.) Curate special pieces. Less is more (* except when it comes to those damn pillows on the bed!). Purposely place items and objects in your home that you are fond of. Buy only coffee-table books that mean something to you ― such as an artist you like or a destination you’ve visited. (* In other words, don’t buy coffee-table books about stuff you hate, or that disgusts you. Like the breeding habits of insects.)
– Keep it organized. (* Oh, well, great, screw that. That’s never gonna happen.)
* Oh – and you’re going to want to move your house next to an IHOP or a Denny’s.
* They forgot about putting an ice machine outside your bedroom door that hums real loud, and installing an air conditioner that rattles.
* It’s like they just want you to buy everything in “Oprah’s Favorite Things” catalogue.
* And when you’re done, don’t forget to hire someone to come knock on your door every morning at 7:15 and go, “Housekeeping!” (see audio below)
CLIP: “Housekeeping” from Family Guy.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/Housekeeping-FamilyGuy-1(dot)mp3

U.S. NEWS

STRIP CLUB ROBBED OF $22,000 IN SINGLES

A Providence, Rhode Island strip club was robbed of $22,000 in $1 bills on Monday. Cadillac Lounge owner Dick Shappy (*!) (* I think the S is misplaced.) said an armed suspect robbed the club 15 minutes before opening Monday afternoon. The suspect was seemingly familiar with the club, and forced the manager to open a safe he knew was filled with $1 bills. After grabbing the money, he ran out the door.
* He’s going to have to launder the money. It’s from a strip club, so I HOPE he launders it. Ick.
* You know the best place to launder 22,000 one-dollar bills? That’s right, The Dollar Store.
* I wonder how many wiggles it takes to bring in 22,000 singles?
* Hey, they had all weekend to deposit the money, but couldn’t be bothered. They deserve what happens.
* It’s the Cadillac Lounge, but their security level is Chrysler.
* Something tells me they’ll get the money back, eventually.

MAN THREATENS BUS DRIVER FOR DRIVING TOO SLOW

Last week in Somerville, Massachusetts, a man was arrested after threatening an MBTA bus driver for driving too slowly. Wakell Steele, 22, got on the bus, and shortly pulled the stop signal and demanded his money back, accusing the driver of driving too slowly. Steele allegedly picked up a piece of wood meant to secure the tires of the bus and took an “aggressive stance” toward the driver, demanding his money back a second time. He then got off the bus. The driver spotted a couple of police officers and pointed out Steele on the street, where he was arrested.
* Now he’s really going to be late to wherever he was going.
* You can always tell the first time riders.
* I would think that by the age of 22, he would have had time to notice how slow buses go – but maybe that’s just me.
* Never mind the fact that bus drivers cannot eject money from the fareboxes. Those things are locked up tighter than ATM machines.
* Did he just want his bus fare back, or all the money he’s paid in taxes to support mass transit?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

HELP WANTED: CANDY COMPANY SEEKS TASTER

Here’s another of those “give me free publicity” stories posing as a job offer. Canadian online candy seller Candy Funhouse is looking to hire a tester-taster – a Chief Candy Officer. The job includes “approving all candy in its inventory, deciding which new products Candy Funhouse will be carrying, leading candy board meetings, being the head candy taste tester, and taking charge of all things fun,” according to the job description. The salary: $100,000 annually. The position is open to anyone in North America aged five and up. The deadline to submit your application is August 31, 2022.
* That’s nutty. Or, in the candy world, nougatty.
* You’ll be working alongside Mike & Ike, Mr. Goodbar, and, uh… Oh – Henry!
* Stupid people needn’t apply. Only Smarties. No Airheads, Dum Dums, Nerds or Goobers – Bar None.
* It’s a pretty good job, up until about 4 o’clock in the afternoon when the sight of one more piece of candy will make you projectile vomit.
* Wait – is that really $100,000 salary, or just one of those 100 Grand candy bars?

THE BEST RESTAURANTS IN THE WORLD

The prestigious World’s Best restaurant awards have been announced. The awards are selected by 1,080 independent culinary experts including chefs, specialist journalists and restaurant owners. At the top of the list – the Best Restaurant in the World – is Geranium, a restaurant in Copenhagen, Denmark. Here are some of the actual menu items from Geranium in Copenhagen:
– Salted herring in crispy algae with dill stems & aquavit (* “Hey, Jorgen, what did you pull out of the canal today?” “Ya, der’s herring, algae and dill stems in da bucket.” “Great – it’s today’s special!”
– Winter Greens from Kiselgården: flowering Brussels sprouts, leeks & wild onions
– Boiled beetroots, dried blueberries & horseradish
– Forest mushrooms, beer, smoked egg yolk, pickled hops & rye bread
* And let me guess – all of these dishes take up less room on the plate than a deck of cards.
* If you’re going to win a restaurant award, don’t you need to serve actual food?

As for the rest of the list: Peruvian restaurant “Central” came in second. Spanish restaurants “Disfrutar” and “Diverxo” in Madrid, Spain, placed third and fourth respectively. In fifth place: Pujol, in Mexico City.
* Surprisingly, Chick-fil-A is sixth. Boy, no wonder those things are so popular.

There are only two US restaurants in the Top 50. One is Atomix, in New York, in 33rd place. The second is Le Bernardin, also in New York, in 44th place.
* The first is one of those restaurants where you can throw an axe. The second one only made the list because their self-serve ice cream machine works most of the time.
* That was a nice story. And as I look at the time, I see I’m just a few hours away from my lunchtime Wendy’s Baconator.

TRENDING

“LAW & ORDER” CREW MEMBER SHOT ON SET

A man was fatally shot in Brooklyn, New York, early Tuesday morning on the set of “Law & Order: Organized Crime.” The show had reserved a block in Brooklyn’s Greenpoint neighborhood. The victim, Johnny Pizarro of Queens, was sitting in his car around 5:15 a.m. saving a parking space for a production truck when an unknown person opened his car door and shot him several times. He was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital. Mr. Pizarro was working for a company that holds parking spots for movie and television productions.

“GODFATHER” HOUSE NOW AN AIRBNB

Airbnb is about to add the “Godfather” house to its listings. Fans of the film will have an opportunity to spend a summer getaway in the English Tudor that served as the exterior of Vito Corleone’s home in the iconic 1972 movie. The 6,248 square-foot home on Staten Island will be available for a 30-night Airbnb booking at $50 per night during the month of August. Booking opens to the public at 1:00 p.m. EDT on July 27. Guests will enjoy a private stay for up to five guests in the five-bed, seven-bath house. While the exterior looks much as it did in the film, the interior has been renovated with modern touches. Amenities include an English pub-inspired bar in the basement, a game room, a gym, two fireplaces, and a large saltwater pool in the backyard. A charming old stone wall borders the property.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Julianne Hough (dancer, country singer, “Dancing With The Stars”) … 34
Gisele Bündchen (model, actress, Mrs. Tom Brady) … 42
Sandra Oh (actress, “Killing Eve”) … 51
Stone Gossard (guitarist with Pearl Jam) … 56
Dean Winters (actor, “30 Rock,” plays Mayhem in Allstate commercials) … 58
Carlos Santana (guitarist/songwriter) … 75
Kim Carnes (singer, “Betty Davis Eyes”) … 77
John Lodge (singer/songwriter/bassist with The Moody Blues) … 79

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m the first to admit it: I like being sexy!”

(A) Hillary Clinton
(B) Drew Carey
(C) Julianna Hough

ANSWER: (C) Julianne Hough

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2021 – The University of Oxford announced the development of a COVID-19 vaccine able to trigger immune response and antibodies.

2015 – Hacker group the Impact Team announced they hacked married dating site Ashley Madison.
* It was a great day for divorce lawyers.

1999 – After 38 years at the bottom of the Atlantic, astronaut Gus Grissom’s Liberty Bell 7 Mercury capsule was lifted to the surface.
* Hey, that would make a nice planter.

1969 – Neal Armstrong became the first human to walk on the Moon, uttering his famous “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
* Luckily, he didn’t go with his first choice: “Oh, man, this is SO GROOVY!”

1872 – Mahlon Loomis patented the wireless radio.
* Good thing, too, or we’d have to run wires from our station to all your houses and cars.

1859 – Admission was charged at a baseball game for the first time as 1,500 fans paid 50 cents each to watch Brooklyn play New York.
* And one manager looked at another and said, “Y’know, there might be some money in this game!”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington, 41, was found dead by suicide. Police reported he hanged himself.

2011 – Pictures of The Beatles’ first US concert in Washington DC on February 11th, 1964, taken by a then 18-year-old Mike Mitchell, sold at Christie’s auction house for $361,938. Security in those days was very casual and Mitchell was just feet from the band as he snapped the black and white photos, which he stored for years in a box in his basement.

2008 – Rapper DMX was arrested on suspicion after he gave a false name to get out of paying for hospital medical expenses. County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said the star told Mayo Clinic in Arizona that his name was Troy Jones and failed to pay a $7,500 bill in April. The rapper (whose real name is Earl Simmons) was arrested at a shopping center in Phoenix.

2003 – A tooth said to have been pulled out of Elvis Presley’s mouth after an injury failed to sell on the auction site eBay. The tooth was also accompanied by some of the singer’s hair.

1999 – Church groups in middle America claimed that pictures of Britney Spears, then age 18, printed in Rolling Stone magazine encouraged child pornography. The shots showed Britney with not many clothes on in her bedroom.

1995 – Public Enemy member Flavor Flav broke both his arms when he was involved in a motorcycle accident in Milan.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 45% of wives say their husbands do THIS. What is it?
Snore

2. Over 50% of married women admit to using THIS. What is it?
Their husband’s pillow

3. 27% of married couples say they fight about THIS the most. What is it?
Laundry

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