TRAVEL WRITER PANS FANCY RESTAURANT

Travel writer Geraldine DeRuiter and her husband treated six friends at a restaurant in in Lecce, Italy, called Bros. The restaurant had been awarded a Michelin star, one of the industry’s most respected honors, so they were expecting an excellent meal. They were seated in what she called “a cement cell of a room, Drake pumping through invisible speakers. It was sweltering hot, and no other customers were present.” They were served what turned out to be a tasting menu – 27 courses over four and a half hours, which included:
– Slivers of edible paper.
– Shots of vinegar.
– Something called “oyster loaf.”
– Six noodles, served cold. Everybody got six noodles. This was the most substantial thing they were served.
– Fried cheese balls filled with what the servers described as “rancid” ricotta.
– The main course was a tablespoon of crab meat.
– At one point, waiters served one course using eyedroppers to squirt liquid onto the plate. They then announced, “This has been infused with meat molecules.”
– A squid-flavored marshmallow.
– A teaspoon of olive-flavored ice cream.
– A dish called “frozen air” which literally melted before you could eat it.
– Something called the “chef’s kiss” — a ceramic bowl created from a plaster cast of the chef’s mouth. Inside was a citrus foam. Diners were expected to “kiss” the bowl – put their lips on the ceramic slips of the chef and then slurp the foam out of the ceramic mouth.
DeRuiter said, “It was such a symphony of bizarreness on so many levels that endured and just kept going. It was an Energizer bunny of disaster.” Everybody left hungrier than when they arrived, and it was so late all the other restaurants were closed. The check for the party of eight, which included alcohol, came to 1,350 euros, or roughly $1,522, about $200 per person.
* Plus tip.
* For $200, you could just about afford an actual steak at the supermarket.
* I’ll bet next time Geraldine DeRuiter checks out the Yelp reviews.
* This is the problem with Europe – there are no Denny’s or Waffle Houses open 24 hours.
* “Infused with meat molecules.” Yeah, I’ve eaten at Arby’s, too.