WORLD’S OLDEST KNOWN SHARK VICTIM: 3,000 YEARS

Researchers have discovered what they say is the earliest direct evidence of a shark attack on a human. Experts from the University of Oxford made the discovery while studying the remains of an adult male excavated from the Tsukumo site near Japan’s Seto Inland Sea. The skeleton was covered in traumatic injuries to his arms, legs, front of chest and abdomen. They identified 790 separate injuries on the 3,000 year-old skeleton. Some of the lesions were very sharp, deep, and V-shaped. His left hand and his right leg were missing. The researchers ruled out that the injuries were caused by metal implements of the period; also terrestrial carnivores and scavenger tooth marks were also not consistent with the injuries. Therefore, of course: shark.
* Scientific proof that, even 3,000 years ago, they needed a bigger boat.
* 790 separate injuries? Well, at least he put up a good fight.
* And you know how sharks got into an inland sea, right? Prehistoric Sharknadoes!
* Did the skeleton also have a silver tooth and a tattoo that said “USS Indianapolis”?
* The ironic thing was, the shark cage was actually invented 2,999 years ago.