AUDIO: A GYM THAT SHOCKS YOU
Here’s the latest stupid thing people are paying money for: Shock Therapy. A gym on Manhattan’s Upper East Side offers workout classes where you get shocked. Clients put on power suits that hook up to an “Electronic Muscle-Stimulation Technology” machine. The electrode-studded bodysuit is dampened to conduct electricity. As you work out – a mixture of strength-training and aerobic conditioning – mini-power packs send tiny pulses of electricity to activate 300 critical muscle groups all at once. These electrodes make muscles involuntarily contract. Even though your muscles work overtime, the class is only 30 minutes long which actually cuts gym time in half, according to Shock Therapy’s founder Esra Çavuşoğlu. He suggests doing the workout twice a week, which he claims is equal to six days working out. Does it work? Lisa Michelman attends classes consistently and, in four months, has seen a change in her body. But, she says, “I’m so sore the next day.”
* Way to sell it, Lisa.
* Also, Lisa can now toast a bagel with her bare hands.
* When your muscles start involuntarily contracting, you can dance like Jerry Lewis, God rest his soul.
* After it’s over, good luck getting your hair to lay back down.
* Best of all, you get to wear the electric suit that a hundred other people have exercised in before you.
* You could save money by just sticking your hand into a bug zapper.
* I haven’t been shocked at the gym since I saw a bottle of lice shampoo fall out of the locker of the guy next to me.
CLIP: Who needs a gym? Our classic “Joltron Weight Loss” parody spot.
