THURSDAY – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 15, 2018
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: ST.PAT’S – O DONNY BOY; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

AG DAY, CELEBRATING OUR BOUNTIFUL FOOD SUPPLY

DUMBSTRUCK DAY
http://www.cute-calendar.com/event/dumbstruck-day/12374-world.html says this:
“Dumbstruck Day takes place on March 15, 2016. If you’re dumbstruck, you are so shocked that you’re unable to speak. You can use Dumbstruck Day to be dumbstruck over all the shocking things you see, hear, read and smell. “Dumbstruck” is a combination of “dumb” and “struck”: you are dumbstruck as if you are struck dumb with astonishment and surprise. “Dumb” means ‘silent, silent, speechless, mute, unable to speak’.”

IDES OF MARCH / BRUTUS DAY
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ides_of_March and https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/brutus-day/ say this:
“The Ides of March is a day on the Roman calendar that corresponds to 15 March. It was marked by several religious observances and became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC. The death of Caesar made the Ides of March a turning point in Roman history, as one of the events that marked the transition from the historical period known as the Roman Republic to the Roman Empire. Brutus Day aims to promote recognition of the fact that betrayal, backstabbing and dirty politics aren’t by any means a thing of the past, and are as widespread and tactical in our modern, corporate lives as they were in the forums of ancient Rome. Watch your back, avoid office politics, and look out for your friends!”

NATIONAL EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS WRONG DAY
http://www.cute-calendar.com/event/everything-you-think-is-wrong-day/12375-world.html says this:
“You should recognize during this day that we are all vulnerable and are not always right: it is a special day to recognize that everyone has a bad day once in a while and it can even happen to you.”

NATIONAL PEARS HELENE DAY

TRUE CONFESSIONS DAY
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/true-confessions-day/ says this:
“Keeping a guilty secret can be stressful and puts a strain on any relationship. On a lighter note, confessing your feelings to someone could start a beautiful new friendship! True Confessions Day is a day that was created to inspire people to let go of their secrets and have a day of honesty. It’s no surprise that confession is such a big part of many religions: it allows one to cleanse their heart of their troubles and move on with a clear conscience. Confessing a secret that’s been difficult to keep feels good and helps to relieve stress, so why not give True Confessions Day a try by getting something off your chest and talking things through with a loved one. Remember that honesty is the best policy all year round, so maybe celebrating True Confessions Day will help inspire openness in more relationships, which can only be a good thing.”

WORLD CONSUMER RIGHTS DAY

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Bell Peppers and Broccoli Month
Berries and Cherries Month
Dolphin Awareness Month
Employee Spirit Month
Exotic Winter Fruit & Leeks and Green Onions Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Humorists are Artists Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
Mad for Plaid Month
Music in our Schools Month
National Celery Month
National Cheerleading Safety Month
National Clean up Your IRS Act Month
National Craft Month
National Ethics Awareness Month
National Eye Donor Month
National Frozen Food Month
National Noodle Month
National Nutrition Month
National Optimism Month
National Peanut Month
National Professional Social Worker’s Month
National Sauce Month
National Umbrella Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month
Sing with Your Child Month
Spiritual Wellness Month
Youth Art Month
One of many full lists is here – http://www.holidays-and-observances.com/march-holidays.html

CELEBRITIES

PRESIDENT TRUMP HIRES GARY KUDLOW, FROM TV, TO BE HIS ADVISOR

CNBC contributor and host Larry Kudlow has accepted the job of White House chief economic adviser and director of the National Economic Council, replacing the recently resigned Gary Cohn. Trump has been a longtime fan of Kudlow with whom he became acquainted with from seeing him on CNBC. Kudlow has hosted his own program, “The Kudlow Report,” and the two men are known to be close. In addition to serving as an informal adviser to Trump through the campaign, Kudlow helped craft the president’s tax reform bill which was signed into law last year.
* TV people know a lot about stuff. That’s why they’re on TV and not, say, working in the real world where things matter.
* Trump could have hired Jim Cramer from CNBC’s “Mad Money”, but he doesn’t want anyone who can shout louder than him.
* Looks like we’re heading to an entire administration pulled from the President’s favorite TV shows.
* And the first White House with a revolving door.
* If this keeps up, it won’t be long before the Property Brothers are named Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

BARACK OBAMA STILL FILLING OUT NCAA BRACKETS

Barack Obama is still filling out his March Madness brackets. Yesterday (Wednesday), he revealed he’s picking Michigan State – a #3 seed – to win it all. He picked a few upsets, including Loyola-Chicago (11) over Miami (6). He also has Texas (10) over Nevada (7), and Syracuse (11) beating Arizona State. His Final Four – Virginia (1), North Carolina (2), Villanova (1) and Michigan State (3). The former president wrote: “Just because I have more time to watch games doesn’t mean my picks will be better.”
* Much like America.
* Umm… he’s not president any more. Are we suppose to act like we still care?
* Although he did pick the Tar Heels as the winners last year. Hmmm …
* Meanwhile, CNN says they can’t reveal Trump’s picks because he hasn’t gotten them from the Russians yet.

ENTERTAINMENT

DISNEY CHANGING “WENCH AUCTION” SCENE ON PIRATES RIDE

Disneyland is preparing to change out the familiar scene on its Pirates of the Caribbean ride where captive, tied-up women are auctioned off as brides. Currently, boat riders come upon a sign that reads, “Auction: Take a wench for a bride,” with a line of women waiting to be sold, and one voluptuous red-haired woman vamping for the crowd. The new animatronic scene will show the same redhead, but now she’ll be a female pirate overseeing an auction of local loot.
* How do we know it’s local? Is there a pre-boarding lecture that will explain that to us?
* It’s “loot”, so at least stealing is still okay at Disney.
* Also in a nod to the times, about half of the pirates will now identify as gay or at least gender-fluid.
* Finally, the gangplank will be made pegleg-accessible.
* Why not just have the cannons in the battle scene fire confetti while we’re at it?

MTV CANCELS “TOTAL REQUEST LIVE” AGAIN

MTV is pulling the plug on its revived version of “Total Request Live”. The show was brought back to the network last October, after being off the air for nearly 9 years. It went on hiatus in February but was scheduled to return April 9. Instead, the afternoon show will “pivot to short form content that will be featured on social and digital platforms.”
* So … emojis?
* The problem with Total Request Live – no one requested it.
* MTV must stand for Millennials Taking a Vacation from TV.
* More time for another Jersey Shore reunion!

THE BUZZ

AUDIO: ONE STUDENT WALKS OUT OF HIS SCHOOL ON NATIONAL WALKOUT DAY

Justin Blackman was the only student in his North Carolina high school to walk out in protest for National Walkout Day. He took a short selfie (audio below) noting that he was alone, and his teacher didn’t much care. His message: “It’s the right thing (to do). The 17 young adults that died in Florida can’t protest so I will do it for them.” The video has gone viral, and he’s received thousands of messages of support.
(https://twitter.com/JustinIBlackman/status/973922858052259840)
* It’s a fine line being a leader with no followers, and just walking around.
* Does he sit by himself at lunch, too?
* Maybe it’s a personal hygiene issue.
* He’ll be on Ellen DeGeneres by next Tuesday. On the show, not literally. You know what I mean.
CLIP: Justin Blackman’s selfie.
CLIP URL: http://morningsidekick.com/prep/wp-content/uploads/03-14-OnlyKidWalkOutDay.mp3

U.S. NEWS

UNITED AIRLINES MISTAKENLY FLIES FAMILY DOG TO JAPAN

Fresh from killing a family’s dog by insisting it be placed in the overhead bin, United Airlines has now mistakenly flown another family’s dog to Japan. Kara and Joseph Swindle, along with their children, are in the process of moving from Oregon to Kansas. After Kara and the kids flew into Kansas City Tuesday, they went to a United Airlines cargo facility to pick up Irgo, their 10-year-old German Shepherd. Instead, they discovered a Great Dane dog instead. They later learned that their dog had been mistakenly put on a United flight to Japan – instead of the Great Dane. When the plane landed in Japan, officials were able to locate Irgo. He will see a veterinarian and then be put on a flight back to Kansas City, but might be required to be quarantined in Japan up to two weeks before making the return trip.
* Talk about screwing the pooch.
* To be fair, the words “Kansas City” and “Japan” are almost identical.
* Good thing it didn’t get sent to Korea. It would have come back in a casserole dish.
* On the up side, the dog now has enough free miles to go visit relatives in Germany.
* Maybe “United” should change their name to “Separated”.

DOG OWNER ATTACKED WITH TENNIS BALL THROWER

Deputies in Alachua County, Florida, arrested a man for attacking a dog owner with a plastic tennis ball launcher. Thomas Phillips was walking his dog without a leash when his dog ran up and began attacking another dog who was on a leash. That dog pulled out of its collar and leash, at which point that dog’s owner swung the now-empty leash at Phillips’s dog to get it to let go. Phillips grabbed his tennis ball thrower and hit the other man across the forehead. The attack left the other dog owner with a cut and swelling, but no serious injuries.
* Dogs, remember: always keep your owner on a leash!
* Justice was… served.
* Such bad manners! The dogs didn’t even do the introductory butt-smelling routine.
* If both these dogs had flown United, this never would have been a problem.
* Could have been worse. The guy with the tennis ball launcher could have been into bowling.

HIGH SCHOOL KID STOLE STREET SIGNS

In Florida, 18-year-old high school student David Pietrzak was arrested after troopers found marijuana and stolen traffic signs in his car. Florida Highway Patrol troopers responded to a crash in Ocala, involving a fuel tanker and a Toyota Corolla. During the investigation, troopers detected a strong “odor of raw marijuana” coming from inside Pietrzak’s Corolla, so they searched the car and found marijuana, drug paraphernalia and 10 traffic signs in the trunk. Investigators said the traffic signs, which included speed limit signs, a stop sign and a “Do not enter” sign, were stolen from the Ocala area.
* When they showed him the evidence, he had to Yield.
* Now he’s taking a Detour to jail.
* Looks like the kid was running an illegal college dorm room decorating business.
* It’s not like Florida drivers actually need the signs.

FORD RECALL: STEERING WHEEL MIGHT COME OFF

Ford is recalling 1.4 million vehicles because the steering wheels can become loose and even come off while driving. The automaker says it is aware of two accidents and one injury that may have been caused by the problem. The affected models are the Ford Fusion and the Lincoln MKZ, both from model years 2014-2018. Ford said the problem is that a steering wheel bolt could come loose, which could cause the steering wheel to potentially detach.
* For four years they were putting on defective bolts? Somebody’s got a screw loose.
* All three engineers responsible have been fired – Moe, Larry and Curly.
* In another five years when the self-driving cars are here, this story will be really funny.
* Wasn’t keeping the steering wheel on one of the first things Ford figured out when they invented the Model T?
* “Ford: Go Further. But Just in a Straight Line.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CONFERENCE TABLE SEX ROMP CAUGHT ON VIDEO CONFERENCING SYSTEM

A sexual romp on a conference table was accidentally broadcast after someone forgot to turn off a video conferencing system. Earlier that morning, the manager of China’s Southern Power Grid had participated in a video conference call which was attended by employees from five different provinces. After the meeting was adjourned for a break, the manager apparently decided to make use of the now empty conference room at the company’s headquarters in Guangzhou, and he and a female colleague were caught having sex by the video cameras. The two employees have since been arrested and face defamation charges. Their names – and this sounds backwards: a man surnamed Tang and a woman surnamed Wang.
* Wang bang, thank you, Tang.
* “Hey – get a cubicle!”
* Now their affair has been tabled.
* “Wet cleanup in Conference Room B.”

ENTIRE ITALIAN TOWN EVACUATED AFTER DISCOVERY OF WWII BOMB

An entire town in central Italy was evacuated Tuesday night after a live World War II bomb was discovered during excavation work. The 500-pound British bomb was accidentally dug up in Fano, on the coast of the Adriatic Sea, prompting the evacuation of 23,000 within a 1 mile radius. It was taken two miles off the coast out to sea by the Italian navy to be safely detonated. The blast will be set off after 144 hours — the maximum time required to see if the device explodes on its own if its time-delayed trigger was accidentally activated when it was dug up.
* 23,000 within a 1-mile radius? Fano must be Italian for “cramped”.
* Wait – they’ve excavating, and they find a live 500-pound bomb. Wouldn’t that let them finish the excavating super-fast?
* You haven’t lived until you’ve heard 23,000 people returning to their homes and all crying out at the same time, “Hey – I’ve been robbed!”
* It was the biggest bomb anyone’s seen since The Emoji Movie.

TV TONIGHT

ABC – “Grey’s Anatomy” – Dr. Meredith Grey tries to keep the team under control when they learn she’ll soon be making $550,000 per episode.

ABC – “Scandal” – Stormy Daniels tries to get a cameo.

CBS – “2018 NCAA Basketball Tournament” – Not all the March Madness is taking place in the White House.

NBC – “Superstore” – Glenn and Dina offer amnesty to the employees for any bad things they confess. Like how they prefer shopping online.

NBC – “Will & Grace” – Grace reluctantly fights for Karen’s civil rights when a bakery refuses to make a cake she wants. You know, you could bypass all this stress by making the cake yourself, Lazybones.

FOX – “Gotham” – Poison Ivy threatens to turn Fox executives into plants if they don’t give the show a fifth season.

CW – “Tough Mudder: Tougher Together” – Sponsored by Tide.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 17, Saturday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Tuesday – Spring begins, Vernal Equinox is 12:15 p.m. EDT
April 1, Sunday – Easter, April Fools Day
April 25, Wednesday – Administrative Professionals Day
May 13, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 19, Saturday – Armed Forces Day
May 28, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Eva Amurri (actress, “Undateable”) … 33
Joseph Hahn (DJ with Linkin Park) … 41
Eva Longoria Parker (actress, “Telenovela”) … 40
Brian Tee (actor, “Chicago Fire / PD / Med”) … 41
will.i.am (rapper, musician with Black Eyed Peas) … 43
Bret Michaels (rock singer, reality TV personality) … 55
Terence Trent D’Arby (singer-songwriter) … 56
Fabio (model, goose target) … 59
Dee Snider (rock singer with Twisted Sister) … 63
Sly Stone (singer with Sly & The Family Stone, real name Sylvester Stewart) … 75
Mike Love (singer with the Beach Boys) … 77
Judd Hirsch (actor, “Superior Donuts”, “Numb3rs”, “Taxi”) … 83

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I always wanted to be a rock star as a kid.”

(A) Donald Trump
(B) Paul Ryan
(C) Dee Snider

ANSWER: (C) Dee Snider

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2016 – Google’s DeepMind artificial intelligence wins Go challenge against champion genius Lee Se-dol, 4-1.
* Nice, but can it pick a winning lottery number?

1985 – The first Internet domain name, symbolics.com, was registered by the Symbolics Computer Corp. of Massachusetts.
* They should have grabbed coca-cola.com.

1962 – Five research groups simultaneously announced the discovery of anti-matter.
* Just in time to make “Star Trek” possible a few years later.

1938 – Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia.
* The first thing they had to do was build a pipeline – to handle all our money pouring in.

1937 – The first blood bank opened in Chicago.
* Not to be confused with regular banks that bleed you dry on your credit cards.

1892 – The escalator was patented.
* Moving staircases would reign as the biggest tribute to laziness ‘til the invention of the TV dinner.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2010 – Sony Music announced the biggest recording deal in history with the estate of Michael Jackson worth more than $200m. The deal involved 10 album projects over seven years including one of previously unreleased material. Sony had sold about 31 million copies of Jackson’s albums worldwide since his death on 25 June, 2009.

2002 – Yoko Ono unveiled a seven-foot bronze statue of John Lennon overlooking the check-in hall of Liverpool John Lennon airport. The re-branding of the airport featured a sketch of Lennon’s face with the words “Above Us Only Skies.”

2000 – Mick Jagger was ordered to increase his child support payments to Brazilian model Luciana Morad from $5,500 a month to $10,000. Mick was asked to confirm that he was the father of her child by the court, while Ms. Morad was seeking a $10 million settlement. Morad told the court her monthly expenses: $3,500 for a nanny; $2,500–3,000 for food and $3,350 to rent her place on New York’s Upper West Side.

2000 – Sir Paul McCartney confirmed that he and former model Heather Mills had become “an item”. The two met after working on the same charity project.

1999 – Relatives of Buddy Holly filed a suit against MCA Records for allegedly hoarding royalty payments, forging contracts and illegally producing albums without the consent of the family.

1989 – The Rolling Stones signed a world record performing deal, earning themselves $70 million to do 50 North American dates.

1975 – The group T. Rex disbanded.

1975 – The Doobie Brothers went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Black Water”, the group’s first of two No.1’s.

1955 – Elvis Presley signed a management contract with Colonel Tom Parker. Parker had previously managed the “Great Parker Pony Circus” with one of the acts being a troupe of dancing chickens.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, on average dads do THIS about 30 seconds faster than moms. What is it?
Change a diaper

2. The average parent spends approximately 156 hours each year doing THIS. What is it?
Driving their kids around

3. 64% of parents say it’s easier to do THIS with a girl than with a boy. What is it?
Choose a name for them

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