IDITAROD MAKES RULE AGAINST DOPING MUSHER DOGS

After several doped-up dogs were discovered at the 2017 running of Alaska’s famed Iditarod sled dog race, the race’s board of directors have voted to change its rules in an attempt to crack down on mushers trying to gain an illegal edge on the competition. Veterinarians working at the race collect urine samples from dogs at the ceremonial start in Anchorage, randomly along the race route and – for the top 20 teams – at the end of the race. Iditarod officials said that the changes were made after a “single musher’s team” tested positive for “a prohibited substance” during the last running of the race. They did not say who the musher was, or what drugs the dogs tested positive for. But from now on, if a musher is believed to be giving to pups performance-enhancing drugs, he or she could be banned for life from the race.
* Last year’s winning sled was pulled by a team of Chihuahuas. They had to do something.
* “Psst – hey, buddy. Know where I can’t get some Milk-Bone?”
* Now they plan to excite the dogs by having cats run ten yards ahead.
* As they collect the urine samples, the dogs are thinking: “This is getting a little intimate for ‘man’s best friend’.”