HOW TO ASK FOR SEX

Reddit asked, “How do you ask for sex?” Some of the responses:
– “I look at my boyfriend and bop my eyebrows up and down. And he does the same back.”
– “Usually a homemade lasagna tips it in my favor.”
– “You ask the Magic 8 Ball for instructions.”
– “My wife and I have a small pair of wooden ducks that sit out in our living room. When the ducks are facing away from each other it means neither of us are really in the mood, if one duck is facing inward, that partner is open, and if both ducks are pointing inward, it means we both are up for it.”
– “I actually sent my wife a Microsoft outlook invitation for sex once thinking it would be quirky and funny. It actually delayed the chances of getting sex even longer.”
– “One of us says BATTLE STATIONS.”
– “The traditional way. I contact my attorney, who in turn contacts my wife’s attorney and things progress at a respectable pace from there.”
– “I don’t even have to ask. I’m forklift certified.”
– “I say, ‘Hey want to be disappointed again?'”
* PHONE TOPIC: How do you and your partner signal each other that you want to have relations?