THE NICER THE RESTAURANT, THE HARDER IT IS TO FIND THE BATHROOM

A writer for Food & Wine magazine named Danny Lavery wrote a piece noting that the fancier the restraunt, the harder it is to find the bathroom. He notes that, “The costlier the restaurant, the fewer and more obscure the bathroom signs become. Fast food joints and diners are ashamed of nothing; their signs go up in block letters or neon. It might be vulgar, but at least it’s clear.” But, he says, “really nice restaurants often provide no signs at all, and like to hide their bathrooms in out-of-the-way corridors concealed by thick velvet drapes, or downstairs in the basement, so nobody could possibly be expected to find them.”
* It’s like they say: You can’t buy Spanish Clams with Chorizo, you can only rent it.
* What you do is just stop at every single table and ask very loudly if they know where the bathroom is, and explain that you really, really have to go, probably more than Number One.
* “I thought the bathroom was that little station in the back with all the empty pitchers.”
* Then there are those people who, as soon as they get to the table, before they sit down, say, “I’m just going to go use the restroom.” Didn’t you just come from a house,with your own private facility? What were you waiting for? Do you go around town marking your territory like a dog?”
* Wasn’t this a Jerry Seinfeld standup bit? “What is it with these fancy restaurants that hide the bathrooms? Who are these people?”