NUDE BEACH ETIQUETTE

If you’re going to a nude beach this summer, you should know the etiquette. 81-year-old Ronna, who has been a nudist for over 30 years, has these suggestions for a respectful and empowering experience:
– Always bring a towel to sit on, for hygiene.
– Don’t park your chair or blanket too close to anybody else.
– Anything that appears like sexual activity, like plastering your body against somebody else, is not allowed.
– Strike up a conversation, but always look other people in the eye. (* Not a problem, 81-year-old Ronna!)
– Don’t stare or gawk. (* Or point and laugh.)
– No pictures or videos without permission. (* Is painting allowed? Watercolors? Oils?)
– Don’t talk about anybody’s body, even if you think it’s a compliment.
– What if a man gets excited? (* I believe the nudists call that “sundialing.”) Cover yourself with a towel, roll over, or run into the cold water. (* That advice is for the men, not the women. Although women might want to just roll over or run into the water, too.)
* Ronna has forgotten these other rules:
– No ring toss.
– If you’re eating pizza, watch out for drippy hot cheese.
– Bring a good book to read. From the looks of all the nude beaches out there, a diet book would be most appropriate.
– When someone bends over, don’t yell, “Release the Kraken!”
– It’s rude to leave the bottle of eye bleach out where others can see it.