DO YOU EAT FRENCH FRIES? YOU'RE GONNA DIE

(June, 2017) Startling new research has found a link between French fries and a higher risk of death. The eight-year study, which was published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, analyzed the dietary habits of 4,400 people – including how often they ate fried and unfried potatoes – who were between the ages of 45 and 79. By the end of the study, 236 people had died. Researchers found that people who had fried potatoes more than twice a week more than doubled their risk of death. But they didn’t find a link between people who ate unfried potatoes and death. “The frequent consumption of fried potatoes appears to be associated with an increased mortality risk,” researchers said in the study’s conclusion. It should be pointed out that this is a correlational study, meaning scientists didn’t find that eating fries actually killed people – just that people who died during the study were more likely to be fans of fried potatoes. But, they say, the link is definitely notable.
* As the hamburger slowly backs away, whistling quietly to itself.
* Scientists didn’t find that eating fries actually killed people – well, except for the three people who choked on them.
* Then there was that guy who dropped his fries while driving, made a grab for them and drove off a bridge.
* The five most deadly words in the English language: “I want fries with that.”
* “McDonald’s – Billions and Billions Killed.”