ATTRACTIVENESS DOES NOT TRANSLATE INTO HIGHER EARNINGS

(February, 2017) Remember that study that said the more attractive you are, the more money you’ll earn? Not true. Researchers at the London School of Economics and the University of Massachusetts examined data pulled from a popular survey – The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Add Health) – looking at adolescents, one that measures physical attractiveness for a given individual in four installments over a period of 13 years. They found that while more attractive individuals often outearned their less attractive peers, this was often due to the presence of other qualities, such as being smarter, healthier, calmer, more extroverted, and more conscientious. In addition, those who were categorized by Add Health as being “very unattractive” were also higher earners. They always outearned those who were deemed “merely unattractive,” and in some cases made more money than individuals of average and above-average attractiveness. The study was published in the Journal of Business and Psychology.
* So, there you go, (member of your morning show).
* Maybe “very unattractive” people are given higher salaries out of pity?
* Doesn’t this sound like the makings of a humble brag? “Yes, I’m very attractive but the reason I make so much money has more to do with my intelligence, disposition, personality and the fact that I take such darn good care of my health.”
* Does anything go wrong for them? Like, do they have more car accidents?
* They probably get more STDs.
* The researchers just looked at previous data because, c’mon, who wants to spend their day talking to uggoes?
* They found that the “very unattractive” people made most of their money posing for “before” pictures.
* Any research on ugly people getting more attractive the more money they have?
* I think being attractive would earn you more, for example, if you work for an escort service.
* Or another type of prostitution, and of course I mean TV news.
* Wait, this study is based on adolescents? So we’re talking summer jobs here?
* Tune in six months from now when the results of the study flip back again.