WANTED: CREEPY WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER

An ad posted to Craigslist in late June is looking for a photographer in the Madison, Wisconsin area. Here is the ad: “Hello, my fiance and I are getting married later this year and are looking for a wedding photographer. We are hoping someone will document the whole day from beginning to end. We are specifically hoping someone will document the end, which we are finding difficult to find someone who will. We have both saved ourselves for marriage and understand our first time will be awkward but do not think it will be that much more awkward for the photographer to be there and we’d really like it documented (in a beautiful and tasteful way).” Yes, the two virgins want you there for the wedding night.
* I have an uncle who has actually done this. He should be out of jail by the day of the wedding. And, hell, he’d do it for free.
* Just a photographer? Or would they also like someone to call the play-by-play?
* I wonder how long it will take before the photographer puts it on the internet … in hours.
* Two virgins? Better use a high-speed camera.
* “Okay, you two – look at the camera and say ‘Cheesy!'”