THE WALMART CROTILLA

Walmart is now selling something they call a Crotilla in their Marketside section. It’s described as “A flaky flatbread fusion of croissant and tortilla.” In other words, a croissant smashed flat. It is said to taste like a slightly bland croissant. The question is, what are you supposed to do with it? Slather jelly on it, or fill it with chocolate? Or do you stuff it with meat, vegetables and cheeses like a tortilla, despite the fact that it doesn’t wrap, fold or even taste like a traditional tortilla? Walmart’s senior bakery buyer, Bradlee Underwood, suggests topping it with Nutella or turning it into tiny flatbread pizzas.
* Also great for scrubbing those stubborn floor stains.
* “Crotilla”, because it sounds slightly less stupid than “Torssant”.
* Croissant + tortilla = crotilla, which is dumb + stupid = dupid.
* It’s not the first mystery food I’ve ever seen at Walmart.
* I’m not sure we’re looking to Walmart for our culinary breakthroughs.
* Aren’t they supposed to wait until a mom and pop bakery invents this product, then move in and run them out of business?
* I like how the article suggests we won’t know how to eat the Crotilla. Just bake it – we will come.
* Figure out something involving bacon and they won’t be able to make them fast enough.
* Oh well, at least it wasn’t out in the Walmart parking lot. That’s where the really crazy stuff happens.
* Although it does sound like they took a croissant and ran it over in the parking lot.