SHOCK: MARRIAGE MAKES YOU FAT

(June, 2015) German and Swiss researchers surveyed 10,226 people in nine European countries on their marital status and body mass index. The results: marriage makes you pack on the pounds – an extra 4.5 pounds in average-height 5-foot-11 men and 5-foot-5 women, to be precise. Although, married men and women across Austria, France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Spain, and the United Kingdom were found to eat better than their single counterparts. Married couples reported buying more regional and unprocessed foods and less fast food, while married men were more likely to buy organic and fair trade food than single men. But, the survey found that married men also skimp on physical activity.
(survey at: http://www.medicaldaily.com/marriage-may-lead-healthier-eating-not-more-exercise-one-study-suggests-340424)
* Thanks for releasing this story at the height of the wedding season. That’s just mean.
* Come to America and do the same survey. I dare you.
* Marriage makes us fat, being single makes us fat, we’re just fat.
* An extra 4.5 pounds? Americans can gain that in a weekend.
* Wait, Mike and Molly are married. Case closed.
* The refrigerator door is open but the case is closed.
* Married people get fat because nagging and arguing doesn’t burn many calories.
* Don’t worry. You’ll slim back down for awhile after the divorce.